A Team of Horror Movie Villains to Rescue the President's Daughter (w/ Jonah Ray)

SPEAKER_1 (0:02)

This is a Headgum Podcast.

Ian Karmel (0:24)

Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast, the fantasy drafts, anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are drafting a team composed of horror movie villains to rescue the daughter of the president, who I voted for three times, and will again.

No, it's a fictional president, it's a fictional president.

SPEAKER_1 (0:52)

You guys have a fictional president in your mind?

Ian Karmel (0:55)

Are we, so now, listener, I'm lifting the veil, are we leaving all of that in, or are we doing the hard restart?

Isaac K. Lee (1:02)

I think we leave the hard restart and leave it to the listeners to figure out. And leave a mystery as to what happens.

David Gborie (1:07)

It's a lot better if they guess what happened.

Ian Karmel (1:10)

Okay, this is kind of a new Philadelphia. We have a lost live show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_5 (1:16)

Oh, I was thinking about the film Philadelphia.

Isaac K. Lee (1:19)

No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_5 (1:20)

A horror movie that is coming up later.

Isaac K. Lee (1:22)

That's true. I'm taking a title of Vandera's.

AIDS is horrific.

Ian Karmel (1:27)

It is horrific.

Isaac K. Lee (1:28)

No one's arguing.

Sean Jordan (1:29)

Feminist.

Jonah Ray (1:31)

That was from before.

SPEAKER_7 (1:32)

Shit.

Sean Jordan (1:33)

That was not gonna make any sense.

I didn't realize it was a team. So this isn't like an individual.

David Gborie (1:42)

Oh, I was thinking about them not as working together.

Ian Karmel (1:45)

Oh, they're working together.

Isaac K. Lee (1:46)

Yeah, they're working together. They're working together. They're building a team.

Ian Karmel (1:49)

So I want skills.

Isaac K. Lee (1:50)

Skills. That works for me. Skills.

Ian Karmel (1:52)

We're building a team. Our guest today is the comedian, writer, television presenter, host.

Jonah Ray (2:01)

What's the difference between those last two?

Ian Karmel (2:03)

I don't know.

SPEAKER_1 (2:04)

I'm just gonna gild the lily here. Jonah Ray.

Ian Karmel (2:07)

Jonah Ray. I've known you for... Jonah Ray Rodriguez.

Jonah Ray (2:10)

Rodriguez.

Ian Karmel (2:10)

Rodriguez!

Jonah Ray (2:12)

Fuck!

Isaac K. Lee (2:13)

Start it over again! No, no. No, no. Rodriguez. Yes.

Jonah Ray (2:17)

The Portuguese pronunciation.

Isaac K. Lee (2:19)

Wow. Portugese. Portugay-he.

Jonah Ray (2:23)

Which you guys now know more of how to say it than I do because I'm from Hawaii a few generations, so we just say Rodriguez. We don't know any Portuguese of it.

Ian Karmel (2:31)

Mahalo.

Jonah Ray (2:32)

Hey.

Ian Karmel (2:34)

Nice, dude. Nice.

David Gborie (2:37)

I learned the pronunciation of Portuguese from a Hawaiian guy.

Jonah Ray (2:40)

Oh, yeah?

David Gborie (2:41)

Yeah. Yeah.

Jonah Ray (2:42)

Yeah, that's how they say it.

Isaac K. Lee (2:44)

We used to work together.

Jonah Ray (2:44)

We're the dumb people in Hawaii.

David Gborie (2:46)

That is how he framed it. I wasn't going to bring that up.

Isaac K. Lee (2:48)

No, no, no.

Jonah Ray (2:48)

It's very much something I'm very used to. It's like if you want to take any Polish joke, you know, go to Hawaii and just put Portuguese in there.

David Gborie (2:55)

That's kind of...

Jonah Ray (2:56)

People will be like, do you know so much about Hawaii comedy? Like, it's like, they'll just be convinced you know everything because like you just like swapped out a name.

Ian Karmel (3:05)

You guys are putting screen doors on your submarines?

Isaac K. Lee (3:07)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jonah Ray (3:08)

So here's a couple of my favorites. Like, what the port-a-gui guy do when he said look at the dead bird? Port-a-gui guy go, where?

Ian Karmel (3:14)

Where that dead bird stay?

Isaac K. Lee (3:15)

He's looking up in the air.

Jonah Ray (3:16)

Yeah, he looks in the air for the people not watching.

Isaac K. Lee (3:18)

Can we say Sean loved it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really...

David Gborie (3:21)

Ian and I took some respect for what happened.

Isaac K. Lee (3:24)

Yeah, yeah.

Sean Jordan (3:24)

Back to landing my funny bone.

Jonah Ray (3:27)

What the port-a-gui guy do when he said check out the dog with one eye? He covers one eye, goes where? Where that dog stay? Hey boo, where that dog? He's dumb, he's one low-low. Do we have to pay you?

Yeah, these are all just street jokes I stole from him. It's a good street.

Isaac K. Lee (3:41)

Yeah, it's a good street.

Jonah Ray (3:43)

Why lie?