A One Way Mirror | Careless Ep 4

Basia Cummings (0:10)

Hi, it's Basia Cummings here from The Observer. Before we get going, I just wanted to let you know that to listen to the full investigation, you'll need to subscribe to The Observer, where you can get access to all of our Tortoise Investigates podcast series. It's really easy to subscribe. You can sign up on Apple podcasts or on Spotify or directly at observer.co.uk.

If you're already a subscriber, just link your account. Thanks, as ever, for listening.

Ashley John-Baptiste (0:39)

Imagine going about your day. You could be at work, out with friends or even asleep.

Then your phone pings.

Nkechi (0:47)

I thought, right, let's have a look at that then.

Ashley John-Baptiste (0:49)

You open the notification.

Nkechi (0:52)

It's a lot of pages. That one's 27 pages. That one is 108 pages.

Another 27 pages and another 50 pages. And there's still more that I haven't downloaded.

Ashley John-Baptiste (1:08)

Pages and pages of potentially devastating information about your life that you never knew about. They were sent to you with no warning, no phone call, and trawling through them is exhausting and traumatizing.

Nkechi (1:22)

And I haven't gone through all of the paperwork. It's a couple hundred pages. It's a lot.

Ashley John-Baptiste (1:27)

You get over your initial shock. You find out new things about yourself, your family and being in care.

But that's not it.

Nkechi (1:38)

They just keep coming and drips and drabs. It's insane.

Ashley John-Baptiste (1:42)

And with each batch of files, you piece together a new, different version of your life.

Nkechi (1:47)

It's so hard to make sense of because the timeline is becoming quite jumbled in my own mind. In terms of what I remember and know, just when I think I've understood one thing, a new batch of paperwork comes in and I'm like, oh, hold on, that contradicts that or that confirms that or, but that must have happened before that. And if they knew that then, then how are we still in the same position or worse off three years later?

Super confusing stuff.

Ashley John-Baptiste (2:21)

The arrival of these files into your inbox is random, but their contents at least have some semblance of order.

Nkechi (2:29)

The first batch I got, there are core assessments aged five to ten, I believe.

Then it sort of moves into my teens, 13, 14, 15, being in sort of care, foster care. Then there's a third batch that sort of moves into semi-independent living.

Ashley John-Baptiste (2:51)

And so by the latest batch, the files relate to the end of your time in care. The tide of information must finally be retreating. But then one evening, weeks later, as you're relaxing at home watching EastEnders, your phone lights up. You open the file and brace yourself. But something surprises you.

It's the day at the top of the page.

Nkechi (3:14)

2002, I would have been three.

Ashley John-Baptiste (3:16)

2002 was nine years before Nkechi went into care, and several years before she knew that social services were involved. Across hundreds of pages, another new version of her life.

Nkechi (3:29)

So what I received initially was concerns, concerns, concerns, but not very much backstory in terms of what was leading into those concerns or what had happened prior to that in a detailed way. And so it was quite interesting to know that in 2002, there were meetings held.

Ashley John-Baptiste (3:53)

I'm Ashley John-Baptiste. From The Observer and Tortoise Investigates, this is Careless, Episode 4, A One Way Mirror.

It's late August, about a month after opening the first batch of files. Nkechi is in The Observer Studio with my producer, Madeleine.

Madeleine Parr (4:20)

How many batches have you received?

Nkechi (4:22)

Three, maybe, three or four max.

Madeleine Parr (4:26)

When you get them, what does the e-mail say?

Nkechi (4:29)

Nothing. It's just a link to the secure e-mailing platform. Then I log in and there's hundreds of pages of my life. There's no e-mail attached to it. It's just a link. That's how they've all been. The first batch, I stayed in bed for like almost a week, but then you have to go back to life and work and I have commitments and things I got to do. And then you get another batch and it kind of knocks you sick a bit. And you pick yourself up and you dust yourself off. And then you get another batch.

And it's that cycle that they're perpetuating, they're in control of.

And I'm just sort of at their mercy.

Madeleine Parr (5:18)

Are you like refreshing your emails all the time?

Nkechi (5:20)

In the beginning, yeah, I was refreshing my emails constantly. But now I just don't even really look out for them. Obviously, I have to refresh my emails for other things. But if I saw an email from them tomorrow, I don't think I would even open it. I don't think I can stomach it anymore. I don't think receiving it in drips and drabs is useful. And I think it's not only unhelpful, it's thoughtless and it's inconsiderate of them.