A Divorce Lawyer on the Small Things That End Marriages | James Sexton

Lewis Howes (0:02)

Everywhere I go, airports, events, walking down the street, people stop me and say, Lewis, this show got me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. And it's one of the coolest things when people come up to me. So if you see me, please come up and say hi, and let me know how this show, The School of Greatness, has impacted you. It lights me up because our mission at Greatness Media is to impact 100 million lives every single week. So if today's conversation hits home for you, do me a favor and push the follow button right now. It means that the next conversation will be delivered to you and will find you exactly when you need it. Again, thank you so much for being here and listening to The School of Greatness. Make sure to follow right now to stay up-to-date on the latest and greatest.

Welcome back everyone to The School of Greatness podcast. We have Jim Sexton in the house. Good to see you, man. Good to see you, Lewis.

Excited about this. You've got a book called If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late, A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together. You've been doing divorce law work for two decades, right?

James Sexton (1:04)

Yeah, about that. A little less than that.

Lewis Howes (1:06)

Almost two decades working with couples who have gone through every challenge under the sun, right? Who have been through it all from sleeping with the nanny to financial issues to what you said, carpooling.

Who's doing what, carpooling in what days to little stuff, to big stuff and everything in between. You've seen it. And you're not a trained therapist, but you've probably had years of work in your experience being a therapist for a lot of people, assuming, right?

James Sexton (1:37)

Yeah.

I see people at their worst, and I think I see them in a way that people still lie to their therapist, but they don't necessarily lie to their divorce lawyer. Because there's a tremendous incentive not to lie to me. You know, lying to your doctor and lying to your lawyer are like the two people you shouldn't lie to. Our only job is to protect you. Our only job is to make sure that whether your goals are legitimate or illegitimate, our job is to protect you. So I think I get to see a very, very candid. I know more about their finances than their accountant. I know more about their personal life than their therapist. I know where all the skeletons are.

Lewis Howes (2:14)

Why do they tell more to you than their therapist?

James Sexton (2:17)

Because they have to. I mean, for me to protect them properly. I mean, the first time I meet them...

Lewis Howes (2:20)

What's the laws under their jurisdiction? They're like, okay, I have to tell you this, but I can lie a little bit. Little small lies here and there.

James Sexton (2:28)

Yeah, I mean, I think other professionals, you just don't feel the automatic sense of, you're here to protect me. I mean, I am there to protect them in the rawest, realest way. I really am like a shield to them. You know, and I say that's my job. I'm a shield and a weapon. And I'm a shield in the sense that my job is to protect my client's interests. And I'm a weapon in the sense that I'm there to advocate what it is that they need me to fight for, what it is that they need me to advance. I represent people who've been cheated on, and I represent people who cheat. And I represent people who, their spouse has a drug or alcohol problem, and I represent people who have drug and alcohol problems. So I've spent so much time with every variety of the person in a couple that that's how the book happened. It really turned into, you know, look, I'm not a therapist. I'm not a philosopher who's just opining on what I think people do.

I'm just telling you what people do. I'm just telling you what I see actually happened in actual marriages. This isn't theoretical marriages. This is actual marriages.

Lewis Howes (3:31)

Yeah, the real mess.

James Sexton (3:32)

Yeah, yeah, the real train wreck.

Lewis Howes (3:34)

Now, you've worked with over a thousand clients.

James Sexton (3:37)

Yeah, easily.

Lewis Howes (3:38)

Have there been any clients that you've worked with that were going to get a divorce and then they decided not to after working with you, and then they came back together for whatever reason? And if so, what was that reason?

James Sexton (3:50)