994. - Chris & Jason

Chris Black (0:18)

How Long Gone, New York Fashion Week is upon us, the streets are alive, downtown, uptown, midtown, maybe not so much in Red Hook, but you get the point.

Jason Stewart (0:27)

Areas and parts of Ridgewood.

Chris Black (0:29)

And them jeans, I'm glad you made it. We can get into your oracle of travel yesterday, but it's one of the wildest things I've seen in all my years of chronicling travels with you. This could be the top worst.

Jason Stewart (0:42)

It's meddling, it's placing in the worst of all time.

Chris Black (0:48)

Yeah, we're on the podium. We're on the podium.

Jason Stewart (0:50)

If you were following along with Owen Steele's or Andrew Garfield's Instagram stories a couple of days ago, then you already know what I went through.

Chris Black (1:01)

So you're leaving an early Delta flight to get here in time for some stuff you have to do.

Jason Stewart (1:07)

And it was like a 930, 915 kind of flight out. LAX to JFK, Fashion Week, US Open, a who's who.

Chris Black (1:18)

Let's not forget TIFF. You gotta stop in New York before you hit Toronto.

So what happened, what were you doing when the news came across the loudspeaker there in the plane?

Jason Stewart (1:30)

Okay, yeah, we took off, everything was all good. And then Edible's kicking in, I'm watching the RuPaul campy film, Stop That Train, I believe it's called.

Chris Black (1:43)

I saw, that's so funny.

Last time I saw Hari at Ryan McGinley's opening, she was going to see that. I was talking about how the reviews were crazy and it's good. I assume you didn't make it through.

Jason Stewart (1:56)

We almost made it through, it is a short film, but yeah, around, we finished eating our food, we got the over the loudspeakers, and it's hard to hear the first announcement, but there's some smoke detected, and somebody was talking about rumors. Rumors are flying, so we're gonna go ahead, and I think they said we're gonna be like a, an unprecedented act of caution, we will lay her down in Albuquerque, New Mexico, just outside of Las Vegas.

Chris Black (2:32)

Okay, so you-

Jason Stewart (2:33)

And Taos.

Chris Black (2:34)

You had made it very far, I guess.

Jason Stewart (2:36)

Had not made it very far. We were, you know, quarter, third of the way there. So we did make some time, but it wasn't, it was not a substantial distance of flying.

Chris Black (2:47)

Let me ask you a question. This is obviously, this was someone hitting the raspberry matcha vape in the bathroom, correct? I mean, there's no other, there's no other possibility?

Jason Stewart (2:57)

Everyone around me was asking, you know, asking me, you know, what I thought it was. And I was telling everybody that's best case scenario is the pineapple hojicha matcha vape is somebody, you know, a PR person or, you know, a nervous person from the L'Oreal makeup team goes, takes a couple of pulls, smoke alarm goes off. Typically, I don't know, you don't really hear about it, them having to down a plane for that. But sometimes it does happen. I have seen it, but we land in Albuquerque, everyone's kind of pissed and they're like, okay, someone is vaping, we're, you know, two cops are going to come and they're going to, we're going to get the perp walk of whoever was vaping up in there, but no perp walk, no police, two firemen come on.

Chris Black (3:50)

Uh-oh.

Jason Stewart (3:51)

And then, two more firemen come on.

Chris Black (3:53)

So you're saying the fake hot police with mustaches and fucking tattoos and judge T-shirts came on to save the day?

Jason Stewart (4:00)

A little bit of a different silhouette for the Albuquerque FD. We had a couple.

Chris Black (4:06)

Are you saying that we got some enchilada, big back enjoyers over there?

Jason Stewart (4:10)

A couple of fellas where, you know, when you're walking down the aisle on the airplane and you turn sideways, but the profile doesn't change, you don't gain or lose any inches.

Yeah, bro, I do. It's like spinning an apple. Not much of a difference is made. So, you know, to be frank, there was just plain obese firemen having a hard time waddling down the aisle of an airplane, let alone, you know, up a palm tree to catch Garfield.

Chris Black (4:39)

Grief. All right, so you're saying this guy's more at the buffet than saving the tabby in the tree. So they weren't looking...

Jason Stewart (4:48)

He's Captain Save Me a Plate. Ha ha ha!