#923 - Whitney Cummings

Joe Rogan (0:06)

And we're live!

Whitney Cummings (0:10)

How long are we going to talk today?

Joe Rogan (0:13)

It depends on how long you can hold back the floodgates of hell.

Whitney Cummings (0:16)

I mean, I don't...

Joe Rogan (0:17)

If you just have... That's good.

That is a Coco nut emulsified mct oil It actually カメlect are meant to I swear to go. My comp doesn't look like hat. And it definitely doesn't keep that well in plastic.

Whitney Cummings (0:27)

Christine White, you're so healthy.

Joe Rogan (0:30)

I'm eating a lot of organic foods. It's changed the way my cum looks.

Whitney Cummings (0:35)

Wow, it looks like Elmer's glue.

Joe Rogan (0:37)

No, that's not too much at all. This is nothing wrong with this. We were talking before, for people that just tuned in, there was no other way to tune in.

Whitney Cummings (0:44)

No.

Joe Rogan (0:45)

Unless you bug the studio.

Whitney Cummings (0:47)

The FBI is, yeah, recording us.

Joe Rogan (0:49)

We were talking about the drama behind taking too much MCT oil. There's a feeling that you get where like a water bubble pops in your stomach.

Whitney Cummings (1:28)

The Joe Rogan Effect is a measurable effect.

So if you think it's good for you, maybe it is. Or I don't know, but I have done a couple, and I don't do them anymore. I just was like, when I first got money, I was like, I should pay guys to put things in my butt.

Joe Rogan (1:43)

So a guy did it?

Whitney Cummings (1:44)

A guy did it, yeah.

Joe Rogan (1:44)

Is that weird?

SPEAKER_4 (1:47)

Yes, yes. The answer is yes.

SPEAKER_5 (1:50)

Judging by the pause.

Whitney Cummings (1:51)

Just so you know, well, because I was thinking about it, I was like, guys, I know putting things in my butt is weird, it's all weird. Paying someone, I at least feel like I have a modicum of control and can actually sort of set boundaries, but it's weird, there's so many weird things going on, it's hard to isolate what's uncomfortable about it.

Joe Rogan (2:07)

I feel like putting things in the butt is a lot like Catholic school girls, in that suppression is what creates the diamond, you know?

Whitney Cummings (2:15)

Yes, yes, true. It's weird, because he did find a diamond in there.

And he flushed me out.

Joe Rogan (2:22)

What I mean by that is, when we were kids, we all knew that Catholic school girls were like the biggest hoes.

Whitney Cummings (2:29)

Right, because they had the repression, the pendulum has to swing hard.

Joe Rogan (2:33)

Yes, exactly. You can't, like, there's yin and yang to this life, right?

Whitney Cummings (2:38)

To find equilibrium, there have to be whores. Yeah, I went to Catholic school, I know.

Joe Rogan (2:43)

Did you?

Whitney Cummings (2:43)

I did.

Joe Rogan (2:44)

Oh, Jesus.

Whitney Cummings (2:44)

I did, for a bunch of years.

But I, five, six? But I was, I mean, my fate was sealed way before Catholic school. I mean, that was just like my excuse for my behavior. I went to Catholic school, that's not why. I was a mess way before then.

But it weirdly, yeah, I mean, there's so much transgression within the Catholics. Everyone was getting in trouble because, yeah, they were all sort of rebelling against.

Joe Rogan (3:10)

It's forbidden.

Whitney Cummings (3:11)

It is forbidden.

Joe Rogan (3:11)

I think it's like the butt. It's like butt sex, it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_5 (3:14)

It's like, shh, she gonna let you put it in there?

Whitney Cummings (3:16)

It's funny you said that because I was thinking about you during butt sex, no. I was thinking about, because I was like, I'm coming on the show tomorrow, and I felt like the last couple times I did the show, I feel like I was in a weirdly, I was talking about like, like I had just come back from Vietnam with deformed babies.

And I was like, is it gonna go that way? And last night, are we gonna talk about deformed babies again? Because I'm out of deformed baby stories. And I was at the gym last night. I know it's obvious that I go to the gym.

LA Fitness, I go to LA Fitness because I'm successful. And I can afford $28 a month. No problem. And I was in the bathroom, just like, you know, whatever. And I heard this girl on the phone. And she was like, you know, when you see someone pacing on the phone and you're like, oh, that's like a business call. And I'm just incapable of minding my own business. So I was listening to her. She was also yelling. And she goes, you know, into the phone. She's like, you know, I don't really get it. She said, I've only been asked to do one anal scene.