#899 - Bryan Callen

Bryan Callen (0:00)

Yeah, gotta start digging deep.

Joe Rogan (0:07)

Hey, Bryan Callen.

Bryan Callen (0:08)

Hey.

Joe Rogan (0:09)

What's up, buddy?

Bryan Callen (0:10)

How much? It's a rainy, cozy Thursday.

Joe Rogan (0:13)

It's adorable.

Bryan Callen (0:14)

They say on rainy days that people are a little bit more devious. So if you have an honor jar where you got to put like tips, if you take a bagel at the office, and you're supposed to put like a dollar in there, on rainy days, some people tend to not do it. They're like, I'm not going to give it. It's raining. I'm taking a break from being honest. Really?

Joe Rogan (0:33)

I wonder why rain does that.

Bryan Callen (0:35)

I don't know.

Joe Rogan (0:36)

Huh.

Bryan Callen (0:37)

Why do girls are always like, it's funny. Rain always reminds me of like past girlfriends who would call it me like, let's go fuck on a roof.

Joe Rogan (0:44)

Whoa.

Bryan Callen (0:44)

I'm always like, nah.

Joe Rogan (0:45)

What kind of girls are you dating, bro? Well, the good kind.

Bryan Callen (0:48)

The good kind, the kind that aren't that stable. The kind with low self-esteem and daddy issues.

Joe Rogan (0:53)

The kind that want to fuck on a roof.

Bryan Callen (0:55)

Yeah. I will tell you that when I take girls, when I would take women shopping back in the day, it even happens with my wife now.

I get a little horny because I'm the man.

Joe Rogan (1:04)

Oh, you're buying them things.

Bryan Callen (1:05)

I love that shit.

Joe Rogan (1:06)

You're providing.

Bryan Callen (1:08)

With my wife, when before we got married, she wanted these shoes and they were fucking high-heeled sneakers. I'm like some asshole named Ted, calls himself Christian Louboutin. And now I got to pay $800 for a high-heeled sandal. I mean, the amount of leather that goes into a sandal. But the two women are saleswomen, and I'm the man. And I'm the man. I think I was in a linen shirt, and I had a blazer on, a linen blazer, I spent too much money on. And I'm taking my girl on a little weekend in Santa Barbara. I'm the man. I'm the man. Probably not even working at the time, but whatever.

And she tries on these Louboutin, or whatever the fuck, Jimmy Choo's, and she goes, God, they're so amazing.

And the woman brings out another pair.

Joe Rogan (1:51)

That bitch.

Bryan Callen (1:51)

Yep, that bitch is right. And she goes, I can't decide. And the saleswoman goes, get them both. And she goes, oh my God, I've never do that. And I go, if you want them both.

And she goes, and she, this bitch, God bless her, my wife, she hides behind her own hand and she goes, you're going to ruin me for other men. And I was like, get both the fucking, get both fucking shoes. I want to eat meat for the month, but get the fucking shoes.

Because you can buy, I'll buy you the dress too. I'm going to help you try it out and change it.

Joe Rogan (2:25)

Well, basically what you're doing, Bryan, is just perpetuating these gender stereotypes that have been essentially boxing people into these behavior patterns for years. It's not that they're natural. It's totally cultural. It's totally something that our society has constructed. It's a cultural context, a construct rather.

Bryan Callen (2:44)

Sorry for being a provider. No, you're not.

Joe Rogan (2:47)

Who you are is the patriarchy. You are the patriarchy.

Bryan Callen (2:51)

Do you want to shatter the patriarchy?

Joe Rogan (2:53)

I want to just break all the glass ceilings, Bryan.

Bryan Callen (2:56)

Rose McGowan, who I think is sexy as all get out, was on the cover of some terrible magazine, and she's in a leather jacket. Dressed like a man, of course, it's interesting how when you want to shatter the patriarchy, you're dressed, she's in pants and I think she had gloves with the fingers cut out. Maybe she didn't, but in my mind she did. And she's hanging on to some, she's hanging, she's looking like that. Maybe a cigarette out of her mouth. She's a bad bitch. By the way, head is shaved. She's not fucking around. Her head is shaved.

And the caption is, she wants to shatter the patriarchy. Yeah!

If I had a crack at that, I would be, I'd turn into the biggest fucking liberal in the world. I'd be like, you are 100% right, and I'll do whatever I have to. And if I could cook you some food right now, just lose your shirt and arch your back and lick your lips after we're done.