#885 - Tom Segura

Joe Rogan (0:06)

Oh shit, Tommy Punz, we're live.

Tom Segura (0:08)

Yo, dog.

Joe Rogan (0:09)

What's up, brother?

Tom Segura (0:10)

What's up, man?

Joe Rogan (0:12)

We already did a podcast.

Tom Segura (0:13)

We totally did.

Joe Rogan (0:14)

Yeah, we just went off, we started going off, about everything.

Tom Segura (0:17)

I was really lost in it, too.

Joe Rogan (0:19)

Me, too. Well, excuse me, folks.

We're slightly intoxicated.

Tom Segura (0:25)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (0:25)

That's what happens. DJ Dad Mouth.

Tom Segura (0:28)

You know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan (0:29)

Have you done any variations to DJ Dad Mouth now? Have you got bored with it, or you?

Tom Segura (0:33)

Oh, I'm totally bored with it, I just stopped doing it.

Joe Rogan (0:35)

You just decided to stop?

Tom Segura (0:37)

Well, I just haven't actually done that much morning TV shows lately. So there was a bunch of those in a row.

Joe Rogan (0:43)

Now is that? God damn it, folks, I'm sorry. I didn't even drink the buttered coffee.

Did you decide to just stop doing those things?

Tom Segura (0:52)

Just stop being fun? No, I mean, if I was doing morning press tomorrow, and I just wanted to do something to entertain myself, I would just do it again.

Joe Rogan (1:01)

I met a lot of really nice people on morning TV.

Tom Segura (1:05)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (1:06)

But it's the most restrictive venue.

Tom Segura (1:08)

It's really, it's a bad idea.

From the, from the thing is here, like, comedy clubs are just thinking, we gotta let as many people know about you to sell tickets. There's a certain point when you're a certain type of comic, basically, where you're like, that's not my, my audience is not gonna find me there. People aren't gonna come because of, I just feel like it was a waste of time with certain comics to do good morning Toledo, you know?

Joe Rogan (1:33)

Yeah, like what percentage of the people that are watching good morning Toledo would like your act?

Tom Segura (1:37)

Yeah, it's real low.

It's not high. You know what I mean? So you go, this is-

Joe Rogan (1:43)

Are you sure, though?

Like who watches those? Who watches those morning shows? If you had a guess, Housewives?

Tom Segura (1:47)

If I had a guess, mostly, yeah. I would say mostly.

Joe Rogan (1:49)

Mostly Housewives.

Tom Segura (1:50)

Yeah, with their children, young children. And then the guy's like, I'm gonna show you how to make a chicken that really isn't here when we come back.

Joe Rogan (1:59)

What about retired people? Would that be in the demographic?

Tom Segura (2:03)

Yeah, and then you don't see a lot of at my shows, but like moms, stay at home mom or whatever and retired people. So they're not at the show.

Joe Rogan (2:12)

Yeah, it's a totally different art form, folks.

Tom Segura (2:16)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (2:16)

Yeah, they don't really cross over that much.

Tom Segura (2:19)

They do the blast.

Joe Rogan (2:20)

Some people are good at it, though.

Tom Segura (2:21)

Yeah, no, some are good.

Joe Rogan (2:23)

Did you ever see Tracy Morgan when he pulled his shirt off and started hitting his stomach and he was saying that someone was getting pregnant?

Tom Segura (2:31)

That's probably the best good morning anything of all time. And he was in Chicago and I think he ends it with, he goes, Horace Grant holler, which is the old power forward for the Chicago Bulls. That was such a great fucking improv line right then.

Joe Rogan (2:49)

Oh, that's hilarious.

Tom Segura (2:50)

That was like the button on the whole thing where you're like, Jesus, he just shouted out Horace Grant.

He told him to, it's so funny. It's the best one.

Joe Rogan (3:01)

Tracey Morgan's fucking hilarious.

Tom Segura (3:05)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (3:05)

He was slapping his belly.

Tom Segura (3:07)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (3:07)

He was saying someone was getting pregnant.

Tom Segura (3:10)

It's absurd.

SPEAKER_3 (3:11)

Hey, pretty ladies, yeah, this is a mating call.

Joe Rogan (3:14)

So people are gonna pay to see your show and they'll just see you smacking on your butt.

SPEAKER_3 (3:17)

I'm taking all the power back, wait a minute. Oh, well, we've got a picture that we're so upset. I gotta take the power back.

Put it back on.

Tom Segura (3:25)

Uh-oh, we just lost your microphone. Oh, he's taking his shirt off.

Joe Rogan (3:30)

You might wanna put the microphone. You might wanna put the mic.

SPEAKER_3 (3:33)

This is Texas, come on, don't go to break, this is Texas.