#884 - Joey Diaz

Joey Diaz (0:00)

She would take her shoes off, throw them to the audience.

And she'd put the YouTube videos, black and white. Da da dayo. She'd take her gold chain, stromp, rip her shirt off.

Joe Rogan (0:11)

I need to see this. Young Jamie, bring up La Lupe.

Joey Diaz (0:15)

La Lupe, 19, I mean, she was a fucking crazy bitch.

My mom was friends with her all along, but later on, I grew up with her son. We were young kids up in Spanish Harlem, and I would go up there and visit him, and she was crazy. They even did a one-woman show.

Joe Rogan (0:32)

There she is.

Joey Diaz (0:32)

Watch, La Gigi.

Joe Rogan (0:33)

La Lupe, the queen of Latin soul.

Joey Diaz (0:35)

Look at this crazy bitch.

Joe Rogan (0:38)

Wow.

Can you, is it okay to play it? Can you hear it? I don't know when I get kicked off of YouTube. Somebody must own this, right?

Joey Diaz (0:54)

Start throwing her rings and shit, her shoes.

Joe Rogan (0:56)

She throws at rings?

Joey Diaz (0:58)

She just throws whatever is closest to her.

Joe Rogan (1:00)

It just gets crazy.

Joey Diaz (1:05)

Gets crazy.

Joe Rogan (1:06)

What is it about Latinos, Latinas? What is it about Latin people? What is it about Spanish people that makes them so passionate and crazy and hot-blooded? What is it?

Is it genetic? Is it cultural?

Joey Diaz (1:18)

It's got to be genetic. It's got to be genetic.

Joe Rogan (1:20)

You think so?

Joey Diaz (1:21)

When you get ten Cubans together or ten Italians together, Greek, the volume goes up. We're all from the same, something has to be something.

The volume goes up automatically. Old Sicilians, the volume goes up, man.

Joe Rogan (1:37)

What is it?

Joey Diaz (1:38)

And then you have the Spanish thing that is just fucking nuts.

Listen man, right out in the open, right now I'll say that I'm as Cuban as can be, born in Cuba. I don't mess with Cuban women.

I don't mess with Spanish women. I just don't. I love them to death. You talk to a lot of Jewish people, guys, they'll say, I love being a Jew, the whole thing. I don't mess with Jewish women. They just don't. You grew up with your mom. You know what you're gonna get. Yeah. You know what you're gonna get. You think about your mom and whoever put up with her shit. You know, your mom's Sicilian, old school. You know, it's different, man. They yell, they scream.

You don't want to put up with that.

Joe Rogan (2:11)

My mom was pretty calm. Her mom was a yeller, screamer.

Joey Diaz (2:14)

Yeller, screamer. If there's a problem, sweet, the saints get called.

Once the saints get called, you got a problem. What did I do to deserve this?

But no, I can't, it's too much. It's just too much, man. Too much passion, the shoes come off. People get yelled at. I don't dig it.

Joe Rogan (2:33)

People throwing shit at each other.

Joey Diaz (2:36)

But you get those spicy Latinas, you know, narrowed, zeroed in, and you get them where they're fucking savages. If you control that into sex and all that, it's fucking probably savagery. Like I said, I've been with one Spanish girl and I moved on.

Joe Rogan (2:51)

Enough. I got left back.

Joey Diaz (2:53)

That's how good the pussy was.

SPEAKER_4 (2:54)

You got left back in school?

Joey Diaz (2:55)

Seventh grade, I got left back. I stopped going to karate. I stopped going to church.

And I was just dry humping her and feeling her tits. Can you imagine if she gave me that monkey in the seventh grade? I would have been fucking walking dead.

Joe Rogan (3:07)

Do you remember how overwhelming it was the first time you were with a girl?

Joey Diaz (3:12)

Overwhelming.

Joe Rogan (3:13)

You'd never had any sort of feeling like that in your life and now it's just overwhelming. It's completely overwhelming.

Joey Diaz (3:20)

And then you have two sets of friends. You have the logical friends, and then you have animal friends when you're 13

So I had friends that would go, that's nice, where you guys gonna go to a movie? And then you have the fucking heavy duty animal.

Joe Rogan (3:34)

You do the finger motions.

Joey Diaz (3:35)

Yeah, they're like, what are you gonna do? You gotta fucking grab her, make out with her, write in the, they just tell you what to do and you're lost.

You're completely fucking lost when you're 13 But how great is it to fall in love and hold hands and go to the movies and go to get a slice of pizza?