#861 - Bryan Callen

Joe Rogan (0:00)

Two, one, yee-haw! Just less than a month before Armageddon, and we're here in the bunker, in lovely Woodland Hills, California.

Bryan Callen (0:13)

That's right.

Joe Rogan (0:13)

Bryan motherfucking Callen is here!

Bryan Callen (0:17)

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen.

Joe Rogan (0:18)

He's voting for Jill Stein, because she, like Bryan, wants 16-year-olds to be able to vote. We both think it's super rational and a great idea, because no one better to decide the future of the world than a hormonally flooded baby.

Bryan Callen (0:34)

Yeah. What do you think about 18-year-olds drinking instead of 21?

Joe Rogan (0:40)

I don't think there's anything wrong with someone who is supervised, who is 18, who is sort of mentored into having a couple of drinks with an intelligent and very, very intelligent and very disciplined parental figure. Like someone who is a smart dad or a smart mom who says, listen, I don't want this to be something that's so out of reach that you wind up doing it and getting obsessed with it because it's the forbidden thing and it becomes a big deal.

Have a drink or two, you know, but they have to be like a really conscientious parent, they should be there with the kid, make sure no one's driving, no stupid shit. But we all had beers before we were 21, everybody did.

Bryan Callen (1:24)

All of us. I also think that if you're going to give people the responsibility to vote and they can carry, they can join the army and go and fight and die.

Joe Rogan (1:31)

And kill. Give them a license to kill.

Bryan Callen (1:33)

Yes, it seems very strange to me that you're not also allowed to vote.

Joe Rogan (1:36)

Yeah.

Bryan Callen (1:37)

And I'm sorry, drink. Because it used to be, and I think 1984 is when the law changed, you were able to drink.

Joe Rogan (1:44)

Yeah, man, it was like, I missed it by just a few years.

Bryan Callen (1:47)

Fuckers. I didn't, I don't think that I did.

Joe Rogan (1:51)

Because in 1985, I was 17 So that was when I graduated high school.

Bryan Callen (1:56)

I think I was 18 in 1985 By the way, I was drinking in college.

Joe Rogan (2:00)

Were you?

Bryan Callen (2:01)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (2:01)

Yeah, of course you were. I drank in high school.

Bryan Callen (2:03)

No, but I could drink in bars in Washington, DC. I remember.

Joe Rogan (2:05)

Oh, really? They had different laws?

Bryan Callen (2:07)

Yeah, I was 18 I was in early 18, January 26

That's why I'm so mature now.

Joe Rogan (2:12)

You are mature. I say that about you all the time.

Bryan Callen (2:14)

That's what I like to hear.

Joe Rogan (2:14)

I say for a grown up baby.

Bryan Callen (2:16)

That's the attitude I'm looking for out of you, sir.

All my friends are grown up babies. Today, Joe and I are at the comedy store and we run down to this other part of the comedy store and there's a mirror. And both of us stop, look in the mirror, and we pull our shirts up and start flexing. We start going, oh, look at my stomach, look at my, oh, my obliques.

Joe Rogan (2:34)

Sweaty Zab, son.

Bryan Callen (2:35)

And then just as quickly, threw our shirts down and ran away. As I was going, and I just barked, we're losers. We're fucking losers.

We're babies.

Joe Rogan (2:45)

We're grown up babies.

Bryan Callen (2:46)

We're babies.

Joe Rogan (2:47)

But everybody is until you have so much responsibility that you're beaten down and it's no fun anymore.

Bryan Callen (2:52)

I think I have figured out the delineation there. It's fun to be immature, and we are, and to be silly geese. But I think the difference is you become a real adult and you become mature when you have other people that rely on you and where other people's happiness to some degree is more important than your own.

So, you know what I mean? And their development is, causes you concern, angst and requires your time and sacrifice.

Joe Rogan (3:22)

And if I could throw something in there, the only way that silly goose stuff works at all is if you've got your bases covered.

Bryan Callen (3:29)

That's right.

Joe Rogan (3:30)

Right? Like it's really tough to be a silly goose if you're behind your taxes, or if you have massive credit card debt that you're ignoring, or there's these stacking stress things, these events, these factors in your life that can really get involved in your happiness and your silliness. So as long as, you know, your ducks are in a row, then you can kind of laugh a little bit and stuff.