#843 - Tony Hinchcliffe

Tony Hinchcliffe (0:00)

Just everything to me.

Joe Rogan (0:01)

I should say that on the podcast. What were you just saying, young Tony Hinchcliffe?

Tony Hinchcliffe (0:07)

That I love fanny packs, and I've been using them continuously.

Joe Rogan (0:10)

Yeah, that's right, folks. Don't get scared. The Illuminati and the elite, they want to keep you from embracing the fanny pack. They want to emasculate you.

It's probably not them.

Tony Hinchcliffe (0:20)

That's like our group name. You've heard of the Rat Pack, wear the fanny pack.

Joe Rogan (0:25)

Brian's never dared one.

Brian Redban (0:26)

Yeah, I have yours. I wear it all the time.

Joe Rogan (0:29)

I've never seen you wear it.

Brian Redban (0:30)

But you know what's cool is those little ones that stretch. Have you ever seen those?

They're super small and they stretch big, so you can put a couple things in it or nothing and you can't really see it.

Joe Rogan (0:39)

Yeah, those things are good for jogging.

They pull tight to you. It's a smaller pocket, though. See, the thing with these things is if you travel as much as we do, you just have all your shit in that thing and you just drop it off. Just take any thought out of your head you might have about getting laid.

That won't be happening. If you are a single person, you're a single man. Single girl could pull it off.

SPEAKER_5 (1:01)

We don't give a fuck.

Joe Rogan (1:03)

A girl had a fanny pack would not make her any less hot.

Tony Hinchcliffe (1:06)

No need to put a condom in a fanny pack. You'll never use it.

Brian Redban (1:09)

Your fanny pack, though, isn't really cheesy or anything. It's actually cool looking.

Joe Rogan (1:13)

It's Roots.

Brian Redban (1:13)

It's slim.

Joe Rogan (1:15)

We sell them. They put a higher primate logo on it, Roots does, but it's a Roots fanny pack.

They are the ones that Dice was wearing. That's how I found out about it. Dice came in and I had instant fanny pack envy. I was like, what do you have here? What do you have?

SPEAKER_6 (1:30)

Oh, this is the one I got.

Tony Hinchcliffe (1:35)

When I'm in the line at TSA, I eyeball everybody that's emptying their pockets. I just look at everybody and then I snap and drop it, like a mic into the things that everybody just saw me.

Joe Rogan (1:46)

And it zips up. Your pockets don't zip up. It's better.

Tony Hinchcliffe (1:50)

Everything falls out of pockets on an airplane.

Joe Rogan (1:55)

There's something about it.

Tony Hinchcliffe (1:56)

You've worn it on stage.

Joe Rogan (1:59)

Yeah, I wore it on stage in Utah. It gets in the way, though. You're flopping around if you're moving too much.

Tony Hinchcliffe (2:04)

Yeah, there's certain places where I can't wear a fanny pack.

Joe Rogan (2:07)

The only way it would work is if you actually moved it to your fanny. And there's just something about that that's not going to happen. If you're going to have a fanny pack, it's got to be in the front.

Tony Hinchcliffe (2:16)

And waterproof. Waterproof fanny packs might be next. Why not shower with it?

Bar soap in there. Pull it out.

Joe Rogan (2:27)

If you have like a secret and you keep it in that fanny pack, it's like a picture of your dick or something like that. You don't want anybody having it.

Tony Hinchcliffe (2:33)

An actual physical picture.

Brian Redban (2:35)

What was the one Bobby Kelly always was wearing? It was like one that went over your shoulders?

SPEAKER_6 (2:40)

A bandolero.

Tony Hinchcliffe (2:43)

What is it?

Brian Redban (2:44)

It's like a fanny pack that's on your chest.

Joe Rogan (2:47)

It's like for people who are scared of wearing a fanny pack, so they pretend they're world travelers with skinny souls. You know those dudes who wear suede shoes of muted colors with thin soles? You know those kind of guys and they have skinny pants on? And then they wear a satchel.

SPEAKER_6 (3:02)

I have a satchel. I just got back from Buenos Aires.

It's amazing this time of year.

Joe Rogan (3:08)

That guy wore a satchel.

Tony Hinchcliffe (3:11)

I like to take those people's satchels from them and just wear them around my waist. Did you just turn my satchel into a fanny pack?

Joe Rogan (3:17)

It's more of a butcher's apron.

Yeah, there's something about them. They, for whatever reason, not only did they not catch on, they became gross. Like, fanny packs are gross. They're way more than didn't catch on.