#824 - Bryan Callen

Joe Rogan (0:17)

Hey, hey, what happened?

Bryan Callen (0:19)

Well, this is a heterosexual top 40 song, and then all of a sudden look at my dick.

Joe Rogan (0:24)

Who said that? What happened? I apologize.

That just popped out! No pun intended, you fucks, you filthy animals. He's back from Italy, ladies and gentlemen, and I'm back from the south of France.

Bryan Callen (0:36)

Wow, man, we both went to Europe.

Joe Rogan (0:38)

Very cultured.

Bryan Callen (0:39)

Did you drink wine over there?

Joe Rogan (0:41)

Of course I did.

Bryan Callen (0:42)

Did you contact the sommelier and just let him know how much you know?

Joe Rogan (0:46)

No, I didn't need to because I was with a very rich friend, so I just threw a dart at his cellar, and I took out insanely good wines.

Bryan Callen (0:52)

Oh, he's one of those guys?

Joe Rogan (0:54)

Oh, forget it. And I was saying shit like this, I was like, oh, I smell nutmeg and pencil.

Because that's what I've heard people say.

Bryan Callen (1:03)

Do they get mad at you?

Joe Rogan (1:04)

Yeah, of course they get mad at me. And then I sip some white wine and I went, whoa, I feel like I just got hit in the head by a farmer.

I love saying dumb shit like that.

Bryan Callen (1:15)

Dude, have you ever been to a wine tasting like one of those parties where they all get around and they all talk about it?

Joe Rogan (1:23)

Uh-huh, you know what I heard a sommelier say? He goes, trust me on this wine. I said, why? Because I was going to order our white wine. He goes, it's unique. I said, well, describe it. He goes, it's like biting into a wet dog. I was like, hey, that's exactly what I feel like doing.

Bryan Callen (1:41)

He was telling you that it's good?

Joe Rogan (1:42)

Yeah, yeah.

It's like getting biting into a wet dog. People just say dumb shit.

Bryan Callen (1:47)

I mean, I like good wine. It tastes good. I like that.

But there's a part of me that rejects the fucking nonsense so hard that I won't learn anything.

Joe Rogan (1:57)

As well it should. You should always reject that horseshit.

Bryan Callen (2:00)

But it's so fucking pretentious.

Joe Rogan (2:03)

Of course it's pretentious.

Bryan Callen (2:04)

It's like the most pretentious.

Joe Rogan (2:05)

I mean, you hear the way they describe it. It really holds your palate prisoner. It holds your palate prisoner, but here's the good news, in a velvet casing.

Bryan Callen (2:14)

Speaking of velvet casings, I was at a restaurant once, a very fine restaurant, a very fine Italian restaurant, and a gentleman walked in with a briefcase with two bottles of wine and velvet in the briefcase. I had to resist the chimpanzee urge to leap over the table and smash him in his fucking head with that case.

Joe Rogan (2:33)

But here's the thing, here's the thing about that, here's the thing, here's the reason I support him, because I'm such a freak for wine.

You cannot send a thousand dollar bottle of wine, you can't ship it, because a lot of times they put it in the hull of a ship, and it comes through, say the Suez Canal, it might be 150 degrees in that hull, and it's below or above the boat water line, you're in trouble. So they fly that wine.

Bryan Callen (2:57)

You can be fucked.

Joe Rogan (2:58)

Yeah, you fly it.

Bryan Callen (2:59)

But this guy, he just was bringing it to a restaurant.

Joe Rogan (3:02)

It's kind of a dick.

Bryan Callen (3:03)

It's kind of a weird move when you bring your own food to a restaurant.

Joe Rogan (3:06)

I agree.

Bryan Callen (3:07)

I mean, I guess it's a drink, but it's not like you bring your own tomatoes. Excuse me, could you tell the chef to chop these tomatoes? Yeah. Parallel with the floor.

Joe Rogan (3:16)

I've never brought my own wine. It's a little... It's obnoxious. To the establishment. Yeah.

Bryan Callen (3:21)

It's weird. Yeah.

It is weird. And then they have a corkage fee. They charge you to open your wine.

Joe Rogan (3:26)

Yeah. $35.

Bryan Callen (3:28)

That's very reasonable.

Joe Rogan (3:29)

Well, especially if you're bringing a thousand dollar bottle of wine.

Bryan Callen (3:32)

But I don't understand why one wine... I do understand, but I don't understand why someone is willing to pay. But I do understand it. I do, because you want to be a part of that fuckhead club.