#79 - The Spiritual Reason Difficult People Are in Your Life—with Yehuda Ashkenazi

Sara Jane Ho (0:00)

Have you ever forgiven someone out loud and still felt the resentment sitting in your chest? Have you ever noticed the same painful pattern show up again and again in your life? Different person, different year, exact same fight. There's a 2000 year old text called The Zohar, the foundational book of Kabbalah, and it's full of spiritual laws about people, judgment, and forgiveness. You don't have to know what Kabbalah is for these laws to work in your life. They're some of the most useful, practical tools I've come across for the hardest relationships in my own life. I recently started a private practice of Kabbalah myself, and it's shifted my mindset in ways that I really did not expect. How I see the people who are hardest for me, how I show up with them, when to hold on and when to let go. So I asked my own teacher to come on the show, Yehuda Ashkenazi, who has spent 25 years teaching Kabbalah in the lineage of Rav and Karen Berg at the Kabbalah Center. Today, we're going deeper than philosophy. What to actually do, how to communicate, and how to know when it's time to move on.

And at the end, I'm bringing him one relationship I'm navigating right now, live, no script. This is not a religious conversation. It's a practical one for anyone with a relationship that's hard to be in and hard to leave. If that's you, subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. This podcast is brought to you by my intimate care brand, Antevorta. We won Best Feminine Wash in Oprah Daly's Menopause Awards and we have wash wipes and sprays to fight feminine odor, dryness, and irritation. All formulated with Chinese hubs. Check us out on antevorta.us. I repeat antevorta.us and use my exclusive code Hot Water for 15 percent off for our listeners only.

I'm Sara Jane Ho and this is Hot Water, where I unpack the traditions, beliefs, and practices that continue to shape Chinese life and what they mean for you.

Yehuda, welcome.

Yehuda Ashkenazi (2:09)

Thank you, Sara, and thank you for having me here.

Sara Jane Ho (2:11)

It's been such a pleasure because, as you know, and as my listeners would know, Kabbalah came into my life last year.

And first, with David Guiam, who's also been a guest on the show, episode 11 for our listeners out there. And I did Kabbalah 1 and Kabbalah 2 online for the Kabbalah Center course. Got so much out of it, it changed my life. I've spoken openly about it. And then I kind of dropped off for probably a few months.

And then it was only a few months ago recently that Sara Kolodny, my soul sister, met you, and she really brought Kabbalah back into my life. And now I've been coming to the Kabbalah Center in person and studying with you in person. And it's been very enriching. So just to jump in, for someone who has never touched this in their life, what is Kabbalah in one sentence?

Yehuda Ashkenazi (3:05)

I would then describe Kabbalah as an ancient teachings, which goes beyond religions, backgrounds, history, that show us the direction how to navigate and connect to our sole purpose within this journey called life.

Many of us living life, I believe many of your audience are spiritual human beings. We live with so many type of desires. And the word Kabbalah means literally in Hebrew to receive. How can I become the best recipient of the endless light and goodness that the creator of the universe has to offer?

Sara Jane Ho (4:10)

Yeah. And that's so interesting because it's so, for me, it was so different from what I'd grown up with as I'm Chinese, grew up in Hong Kong, and so much of Chinese spiritual philosophical thought is about not wanting. It's about the lack of desire. And I know that you studied Buddhism for many years before going into Kabbalah. Yes.

And then when I first came into contact with Kabbalah and how actually it's good to desire, and if you have a desire, that means it's waiting for you, that completely turned around what I realize now were my limiting beliefs about myself and what I deserved and my value, and instead really pushed me forward and I felt even it really affected my career in a beautiful way with knowing that, okay, this is my soul's purpose, and it's okay to desire and here are the spiritual laws to go after what you want and be your best self.

Yehuda Ashkenazi (5:11)

Right. Eventually, in one of the foundations of the teachings, when we speak about desire and as humans seeking for greater level of fulfillment, one of the fundamental teachings, it is that the energies actually was created before the desire was awakened, was formed.