75. The Good Habits Of Trauma

Leo Skepi (0:03)

Hi friends, this week, I got a list of things I can't do.

This is shit that baffles me that other people can do it, and kind of irritates me a little bit. I just want to talk about it. I think it'll be funny. But I also think people are gonna relate, because I've never heard other people talk about this. And like, when you're like a little knocked loose in the noggin, all this makes sense. So the idea for this video kind of came about because I've been spending a lot more time around my friends. And one of my friends had a crash on me, so he stayed with me for a few weeks. And being around normal people, I'm realizing, damn, I got some quirks. So let's talk about it. First thing on my list, perfect example, people who'll be walking around with earphones in public, how do you do that? How do you not need to hear everything happening around you? It pisses me off when I see it. Other night, I was out with my friends, and we were coming home at 3 a.m. This guy's walking around in a dark part of town just with earphones in, just walking around. My exact words were, what the fuck? I feel like there's just such a disconnect with people, with me. Because how do you do that? Genuinely, I'm kind of asking, people who say that they listen to my podcast when they go on a walk, how do you do it?

I would love to be able to go on a walk and go just, listen to something, have some music on, have a podcast on. No, I have to have all of my senses on and active. Like if anyone's gonna walk up behind me, everything going on, I have to be aware of it. How do y'all just walk around life with your fucking earphones in? How do you do it? Especially at night. Like when I was in New York a couple years ago, I never got the experience of like, oh, go walk around town with the earphones on, put on some music like you're walking a little runway. I didn't get to do that because I will freak the fuck out. If I don't have my ears on, if I can't hear my surroundings, oh, I'm a nutcase. Nutcase. It will drive me insane.

I don't know how to relax with my ears covered in public. Very weird. But I envy it. I envy y'all. But after certain things that you go through, it's like when you need your ears, and you have to be on hypervigilance, it's like, that's one thing I can't kick. I really can't. And sometimes when I'm driving, I know everybody does this, it's like you can't see where you're going, you're pulling up in a neighborhood, your friend's house or something, never been there before, and you're like, hang on, let me turn the radio down so I could see. Everybody does that though, I feel. But yeah, that's the first thing on my list, is I do not understand how people just run around life with headphones on, listening to anything.

I don't feel like that's something I want to change. Be harder to kill. But that's not something I want to change. It's just something that baffles me. And that's most of this list. I'm just like, how do y'all be running around life like that? How could you just be so goddamn carefree? Have you not been through nothing? Nothing. You just running around life with your ears blasted out. I don't get it. Okay, next thing is leaving anything in my car. That's something I can't do.

I have this thing in my brain where any time I get out of my car, I'm convinced anything in it will be stolen, 100%.

I don't leave shit in my car, and especially when I'm packing you guys' orders. You guys order stuff, I pack the orders, and then I put them in my car, and I go drop them off at the UPS, the FedEx, the USPS, whatever. I don't care if I'm running into a store. For 20 seconds, I turn the car off and I lock it, and I take my bag and my phone and my vape with me. I take everything with me. And this is not something that I knew that I did until someone pointed it out to me the other day. They're like, why the fuck do you do that? And I'm like, what do you mean? That's just how you get out of the car.

But truthfully, in my car, it's always so clean. I don't leave nothing in it. I don't leave a jacket. I don't leave a pair of shoes. And if I do leave a pair of shoes, it's like some slides I don't care about. If somebody steals them, I'm okay with it. But anything I leave in my car, I understand, okay, that's gonna get stolen eventually. Because I've had my cars broken into so many times. I've also worked with my stepdad a long time ago. He had a glass repair company for cars and shit. And I saw how many times people's cars got broken into. I was helping them change the glass in them. And I'm like, it's happened to me so many times, and that's just something that's been ingrained in my mind, where it's a quirk. Not really. It's just like, hello?