41 Harsh Truths Nobody Wants To Admit - Alex Hormozi - #952

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
We are back again, speed insiding our way through stuff about how hard life is. The Queen of England died 18 months ago. She ruled an entire nation and accumulated more wealth than 99.9 percent of humans. And yet, you haven't thought about it, except for right now. No matter how big your dreams, you're going to die. Everyone will move on. Do what you want. It sucks to not be liked, but it sucks more to not be yourself.

**Alex Hormozi** (0:28)
Yeah, it's really interesting when we think about what tactically happens when someone dies, right? Like, a lot of emotion exists in the vague, but far less in the specific, because you plan your funeral, right? And then you think that everyone's going to be standing there just forever changed because of the death and the impact that you had on their lives. But the reality is, there's going to be a caterer at the funeral. Some people are going to like the food. Some people are going to comment that it was too cheap, the food that you had.
They're going to have comment on the venue, like, oh, I don't really, you know, it's a little hot. There's going to be somebody who's going to make a list of people, and they're going to check them off. Some people aren't going to be able to make it last minute because things came up and it got busy. And after the whole funeral is over, everyone's going to go to a restaurant and just eat dinner and then move on with their lives. And so not to say that the people who mean a lot to you won't remember you to a degree, sure. But on the macro scale, when I think about somebody like the queen who accomplished so much in her life as the zenith of accomplishment, and most people have even thought about her today, except for the fact that we just brought it up. And so I think that whenever I have my harder times, that's my reminder to self of the absurdity of it all, which is someone's going to argue over what appetizer they're going to serve when I die. This probably doesn't matter that much.

**Chris Williamson** (1:57)
How does that change the way that you show up and operate in the moment?

**Alex Hormozi** (2:01)
I think it just decreases affect in the acute moment. So I define resiliency as the amount of time after an aversive stimulus, after a bad thing happens, that you return back to baseline behavior. And then there's the different one, which is how long is your fuse, which is toughness, and it's a whole different thing, right? But resiliency is like, okay, I've been cracked, I've hit the fuse, the bomb's gone off. But the size of the bomb is irrelevant. Like you can be super resilient, have a terrible day, your father dies, and the next day you're back. People are like, holy, it was like you go to the depths of hell, you touch the bottom of the pool, and then you shoot back up. And so I think about how many different tools can I have in my tool set to make the rebound from down to back up as V-shaped as possible.

**Chris Williamson** (2:46)
What are those tools for you?

**Alex Hormozi** (2:49)
Cosmic relevance is probably the biggest one when I think about like, because it's so fast, I feel like I do it almost automatically now, which is like, okay, I want a planet spinning around the sun inside of a galaxy, inside of a universe that will never reach the end of because it's expanding fast in the speed of light. Okay, the fact that there was a mistake in my book printing, no one's going to care, it just doesn't matter.
So that's one of them. Another one is the frame of the veteran, which I use a lot, which is, if this inconvenience happened a thousand times in a row, on the thousandth time, what would I think about it? Well, I'd probably be like, well, this is just how life is. And then if I could feel that way on the thousandth time, then it means that I can feel that way on the first time right now, because it's just choice, because the actual circumstance is the same. Those are probably like my two most prevalent, the ones that I like, my default ones that are in my back pocket.

**Chris Williamson** (3:44)
There's a cool insight that the more you complain, the less accurate your model of reality. So complaining is you saying, the world isn't delivering to me that which I anticipated or expected or desired from it, which is also you saying, I don't understand how the world works until it comes and meets me in reality.