4.1M Q&A - Health Update, Sobriety & Finding The One - #1058

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
Hello everybody, welcome back to the show. I had a haircut and hit 4.1 million subscribers, so let's get into it. Oh, actually, before I get into it, it's nearly Valentine's Day, and I put together a list of 50 of the most evidence-based and viral questions on the internet and from my journal to connect more deeply with your partner, and 25 to work out whether or not you should break up. And this has been breaking people's brains on Instagram. The DM replies I've got to some of the samples of the questions are insane. So if you want a list of 50 questions, connect with your partner and 25 to work out whether or not you should break up quietly on your own. Go to chriswillx.com/valentine.
OK, now let's get into it. Olex26, what uncomfortable question should people ask themselves before going for success? I think a really great question that almost no one asks is, do I want to live the lifestyle required to get the life? For instance, if you love the idea of being a rock star, you want to be a guitarist that tours the world, well, what does that look like? What does the lifestyle of that look like? It looks like 10 years probably playing in your bedroom, learning chords and progressions and then learning to song write. It looks like another five in a van touring around making basically no money with a ton of uncertainty and very little support, and then maybe you start to pick up that. That is the lifestyle. Even after that, do you want to be away from your family if you want to have a family, friends, community, whatever? You're going to be traveling the world a lot. You're going to be spending most of your time in airports or on buses. Is that what you want? If you do not want to live the lifestyle, you have to release yourself of the desire. Whatever your definition of success is, the uncomfortable question you should ask before going for success, what is your definition of success and what is the route to get there? If you do not want to endure the route to get there, you have to relinquish yourself of the desire for the success, because otherwise it is just guaranteeing misery. I want this thing, but I don't want to do what is required to get there or what is required on route to get there or to live that thing. It's going to be misery-inducing to me. That seems like a pretty reliable way to have a shitty life. So that's a good question. Isabelle Van Aswagen. Fuck, every time, dude, with these fucking usernames, I'll do my best, okay? Isabelle Van Aswagen. Have you ever tried the Carnivore Diet? Yes, I did, I guess, a version of the Carnivore Diet, which is meat and fruit. And I did that for pretty fucking strictly from September 24 until April of last year. So over six months. I felt great mentally on it. This is when I was going through a lot of brain fog, still trying to detox all of the mold. And felt mentally good, but it annihilated my cholesterol. My cholesterol just went through the roof. Lots of people are hyperabsorbers of cholesterol or they're more sensitive to it. Turns out I'm one of those people. So the Carnivore Diet kind of has a lot of people pray at the altruists. It makes them feel better, including me, but it can be pretty destructive to some of the important numbers and heart health and keeping an eye on LDL levels and stuff is pretty important. So tried it, was okay with it, took some of the principles of it, but back to a kind of intermittent fasting thing, like a 16-8, nothing until 1 p.m. or midday and then eat through the afternoon. That's the current approach, a bit more balanced. Tommy Cochran 7156 Hey Chris, congrats on your success. Thank you, been subbed for three years now. I just turned 25 years old and moved out on my own to another state in April of last year to start my career. I'm doing fine at the job, but it does not bring me any joy or satisfaction that I thought it would. I spent a few years working towards this, but I know the career is not for me. Feel kind of lost now and not sure what my direction is or how to find it. I never thought I would be in this situation. Any advice? Thank you. Well, dude, that's a real challenge. To have dedicated a bunch of time toward a thing that you thought was going to be the genuine outcome that you wanted and then to have the rug pulled out from underneath you, that's a challenge. First off, I feel for you and I think that it's important to just sit with that is hard and to give yourself a little bit of self-empathy. Like, oh God, that's going to suck. Advice on, you're 25, which means you have so much runway ahead of you. You can go and travel, you can try different things, you could go back to school if you wanted to. I'm aware that this is the oldest you've ever been, which feels like you should have your life together, you're real close to death, you should be further along than this, there's other people that are your age. How can I start again? To give you some perspective, I started again and I didn't launch the podcast until I was 30, and I didn't move to America until I was 32, and now 33, it is just never too late. First off, people have got short memories, everybody has short memories, including you. You will be surprised at how little you would be able to remember of you a couple of years ago. If you made a huge pivot now, in two years time, you wouldn't be able to remember this doubt or this life that you had, because our recency bias is really strong. And the second thing, if you're worried about the judgment of others, they're just not thinking about you that much. They don't care. They really don't care. There might be some people who stand on the shoulders of your reinvention, as in they're still moving and you're having to start again. But it's not about that. You know that you're not happy. It doesn't bring you any joy or satisfaction that you thought it would. And you spent a few years, it's some cost fallacy and some loss aversion. It is gonna hurt and it's gonna resonate emotionally. It's gonna feel like your world's crashing down or you've wasted time.