3.25M Q&A - Marriage Plans, Beautiful Women & Chris Bumstead - #896

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the show. It is a 3.25 million subscriber Q&A episode. You ask questions, I try and answer them, and not do a Nazi salute. Let's see how we get on. Actually, before we get on, a lot of questions about books, book suggestions, Red Rising, which is this fiction series I've addicted everybody to, and is amazing. There are a hundred books, a list of my favorite hundred that I've ever read, that you can get completely for free at chriswillx.com/books. If you need new suggestions for fiction and nonfiction and real life stories, and there's descriptions about why I like them, and there's links, you can just go and buy them from Amazon or whatever. And it's awesome. And like a quarter of a million people have got it. And you can too. It's free. You can go and get it now. There'll be a button somewhere or chriswillx.com/books. So go and upgrade your brain with that. All right, let's get into it. Dude, it's Danny. What happens to the music intro? It always hyped me up. Good question. So we switched on audio from audio only to video on Spotify. But that means that we can't have a spoken intro with the music because there's no video to go along with that. So we got rid of the intros entirely. So blame Spotify for enabling video. Lots of people wanted video on Spotify and every new episode is now available in video. Plus the entire back catalogue of 900 episodes is currently being uploaded. But the sacrifice we've had to make is you've lost me chatting shit for the first 90 seconds and the music. So I don't know, maybe it'll come back at some point in future as like a special hall of fame thing. But yeah, for now it's gone and we just get straight into it like we do on YouTube. Greaves Josh, did you find some of the Fin vs The Internet stuff a bit close to the bone? Dude, I loved it. That guy is going to be so massive. For the people who haven't seen this, I did it kind of like a roast, I guess. It's like a friendly collaborative roast in a way with a British comedian called Fin Taylor and that's available on his channel, you can go and see.
I'm a huge fan of that show and I have been for seasons and seasons. George Mack first introduced me to him. I think he's great and I really enjoyed it. I didn't find any of it too close to the bone. I mean, it's either true in which case you've got nothing to, you can't push back or it's so exaggerated that it's not true, in which case you don't need to worry about it. So yeah, they're great. The team is fantastic. It does feel a little bit like you're in a school, classroom with a bunch of naughty kids at the back that are just throwing insults at him to throw at you. That's pretty funny because all of the producers are in there as well, but process was great. And he's going to be massive. I'm very confident that it'll be like, he's going to be so, so huge. So like the British charming, nicer version of Tony Hinchcliffe maybe. But yeah, I loved it. Maximaia66, what are two important questions you would ask a woman on a first date to see if you are compatible? That's a good question.
What does a happy life look like to you? I think is probably pretty important. And when would you want to have kids? I think both of those help to ensure that you're both moving in the right direction. But what you want to basically avoid on a first date. And this may be moving too quickly. Two important questions. She might run away. But it depends how serious you are, right? This is what I would ask. But if you're serious and if this is you looking for a life partner, you want to make sure that you're both pointed in the same direction. So if a good life to her looks like regularly going on holiday and never really having to be around the house and not really building a home, but you want to be a homebody and you can't wait to make a family, that's not going to work. The same is true vice versa. If you want to just be this sort of DGN world traveler, having tons of fun, parties and stuff until you're 50s, and she wants to be the four golden retrievers and five kids person, that's not going to work. Then I think the second big question is, what sort of a timeline are you wanting to make the next big milestone on? You can't really ask when do you want to get married, but most people have gotten idea about when they want to have kids, and by asking when, you also get to ask the question of do you? So it's kind of a, it's a little cheap. So way too intense, way too over the top, probably going to scare loads of women off, but you said what are the two most important, not the two most likable. So there we go. Lizzie Low, 31 I'm a female and avid listener for the last six months, curious how many women subscribe. So it's about 30% of the audience is female on audio on YouTube. Maybe it's less, it's about 15%, but YouTube skews super male in any case. Interestingly, when you look at the live shows that we did in Australia and in the UK and the ones that we did last year in America, it's nearly 50-50, it's 55-45. Now can't work out how many of those are girlfriends that have been dragged along by the boyfriends, but you also can't work out how many are girlfriends that have dragged the boyfriends along. And I'm going to fight the corner for that. So it's a lot. And for all of the Fin vs The Internet thing, your podcast is primarily for men. It's definitely not, and it never has been. It's male-focused, and I talk about the issues that interest me to do with men because I am one, and also because I get accused of mansplaining if I try and do it for women. But yeah, it's a mixed bag, and I like that. I certainly think that a lot of the episodes about men, men's mental health, emotions, opening up, all of that sort of stuff, in many ways is as useful to women as it would be to men, because you get to actually find out something you have no insight into, as opposed to something that's just aimed at you. So yeah, there you go. Freed, Chris, you said that you got a comprehensive DNA sequencing in one of the episodes with Dr. Mike. Which company did you do it with? Also, where are your glasses from that you've worn in some vlogs? Red Tint, Gradiating. Intellex DNA, I think it's called. The medical director head lady is actually going to come on the podcast because I think it's super interesting. Intellex DNA, you do a cheek swab, send it off and they basically do your entire genetic profile and send back anything that looks interesting. It was really, really eye-opening. You get to learn so much about yourself. A lot of episodes I've done have talked about the impact of behavioral genetics in that 50 percent of everything that you are psychologically is genetically predisposed from your parents. But as I knew that, I knew that there were these things, these traits that I was inheriting from one generation to the next. But I never actually thought about the individual building blocks that that was made up of. You get to see, you get to see literally the bricks that are used. Okay, that's me. And that's me. And that's one of the reasons that I have this disposition. And that's one of the reasons I have that disposition. It's fascinating. It kind of can lead you. I've noticed myself looking a little bit toward a kind of fatalistic approach. Because when you can actually see the individual elements that can contribute to you being you, it makes it way easier for you to say, well, that's just because of my CMY 3AA fucking like allele or whatever. It's not necessarily great. But I think if you can get past that, which I'm doing, it's super interesting. So in IntellX DNA, the glasses aren't red, they're pink, and they are moscots in blush. Monochrome moscots in blush. They're not cheap. They're about 350 quid. But they're beautiful and you can wear them by day, you can wear them by night, and they seem to go with pretty much anything. So, there you go. Greaves underscore Jocko. You've managed to get two of these in. You've managed to get two in. Okay. Where's the merch, mate? We're working on that very hard. It takes a long time to actually get merch done to the level that you want, if you want to have a really, really nice merch. So I felt iccy about it for a long time, because in many ways, lots of merch just seems like kind of a nameless, faceless cash grab, shameless cash grab. But then I also realized that if I was a fan of a show and they had some cool designs, I would wear the living fuck out of them. So I got past my own fear of grift accusations and we're going to do it. So you will have much within, can't put a timeline on it, within a few months, hopefully. Adamsteel4987, are you into hardcore music, metal music in general or just bare-tooth? Yeah, I mean, I've won Paris, I've won Sleep Token, I've won Misery Signals, A Day to Remember, lots of different T-shirts, which is what I'm guessing you've got the bare-tooth thing from. Massively into Polaris at the moment, bring me. Yeah, Polaris and bare-tooth are my two most played at the moment. And it feels like there's a resurgence coming along. Bill Murray, all of these different bands putting out like half throwback, very tuneful, very groovy, very sort of uplifting metal and scene-y music. I can't get away with Knocked Loose and like the really, really heavy end, but anything that's got a little bit of melody on that. Margie May 12, there has been much discussion around pornography being harmful. Knowing this, I can't help wondering if popular romance books that have very intense sexual content are just as harmful for readers who tend to be more female, or do they just get designated as harmless because it's a book? That's a really interesting question. So I don't know what the mechanism is that people think porn is harming men on, that romance novels wouldn't do the same to women on. Maybe something about it being more visually stimulating, maybe something about you being less involved in self-generating the fantasy. But maybe there's an argument to be made that that's more damaging. Maybe it detaches you even further from what real life could be because this is purely a fantasy as opposed to at least you're constrained by the reality of watching two other people that were actually people at some point, I guess until you get to AI. But yeah, that's an interesting question. I've had a bunch of conversations about this. The sort of panic and the like porn harm thing from an evidence-based perspective seems to be up in the air. I'm aware that there's this like felt sense, this kind of Ick, this naturalistic fallacy type thing that's like, it can't be good for guys to spend all of their time. And we know that some people kind of get behaviorally addicted to porn. Therefore downstream from that, it's got to be bad for everyone. I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying that I'm yet to see any evidence that says that it is definitively. And there is a lot of evidence on the other side of the fence too. But that's a really unpopular. If you want to campaign to be, porn isn't as bad as you think it is. You are fighting an incredibly unpopular corner there. I have an open book on that. But my point would be, if there are issues, if porn genuinely is a negative impact for most men, I would be surprised to find out that romance books aren't having a negative impact on women because satiating sexual desire without having to leave the house, allowing fantasy to creep in, which may create an unrealistic expectation both for your other partner and for what happens during the bedroom. So yeah, maybe we need to age verify romance books too. Have they got a? They must have. There's no way that you could go and buy 50 Shades of Grey and be 12 years old or something. That has to be an age limitation on books. Anyway, Texas's porn ban thing is in, so maybe they'll come for the books next.