27. Finding Freedom from Fear of the Future with Shaune

Peter Crone (0:00)

Hi, this is Peter Crone, and you're listening to Finding Freedom. In this episode, I get to speak to Shaune in the UK on a topic that I feel plagues the majority of human beings, which is the belief that you are not where you're meant to be, and as a result, have not accomplished as much as you should have, resulting in a feeling of exhaustion, a lack of fulfillment, and perhaps worse, the concern that it's going to continue, which gives you the impression of a future with worst-case scenarios and a feeling of mild to severe constant anxiety. If you feel that you might perhaps not quite be who you are or where you should be, then this conversation is for you. And I hope, just like we see with Shaune, that it will remove all fear or anxiety and help you to find more freedom.

Shaune (0:42)

First of all, thank you for the opportunity. I've watched a lot of your content, probably too much, to be honest. I've watched a lot of it. And yeah, to be here with you is a great opportunity. I really want to thank you for the time that you've given me to do this.

You're welcome.

Peter Crone (0:57)

Thank you for the kind words.

Shaune (0:58)

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, so I think for me personally, the main issues that I've been dealing with for decades, is a bit of self-worth, a bit of self-confidence, and then the fear of loss, fear of abandonment, and then with that, an anxious attachment style has come from that. So I grew up in Port Dorset, southwest coast of England. Happy family, mother, father, fourth, older sister. And basically, my dad was a long-distance truck driver, very close relationship for the first decade or whatever. But basically, when I turned 13, he had an affair with my mom's best friend, and I never saw him again. That was the last time I ever saw him.

Peter Crone (1:40)

Got it.

Shaune (1:41)

That was like a very gut-wrenching thing to go through as a 13-year-old to have a very happy family.

Peter Crone (1:46)

Yeah.

Shaune (1:47)

And then have that experience with your dad. I mean, I get emotional talking about it.

Peter Crone (1:52)

This is why we're here. We're here. Listen, I can already tell what's going on in your body. When you relax, you're in a safe space. You can have all the emotions you want. Some of the stories you probably heard, would not to in any way dismiss yours. But people are sharing some really very human, but very tragic stories, and I'm here for it. We're all here. So you feel whatever you feel.

You're a beautiful, sensitive man, and I want to encourage you to not deny that. Okay, it's safe here.

Shaune (2:22)

Yeah. And then there's the other where I listened to you about the Navy Seal saying, deal with it, and I'm like, Shaune, deal with it, and then, but you know, you have to lean into it and understand where it's coming from. Right? So my dad left at 13 years of age, never saw him again. He actually died about two or three months ago. I did reach out to him once, and a very brief conversation just before that.

But obviously, I think throughout my whole life, I suppressed that, and I thought, you know, it didn't matter. It was okay.

But I'll go back to that story. So he left at 13, and then my mom's next partner was basically an abusive man, terrible, terrible abusive man to a child, basically, in terms of just like bullying and things like that. I actually left home at 16, and I went off to join, get straight out in the workforce, and I had a very good opportunity to work for a very successful, well-known cosmetic company, which became another family to me in a way. Yeah, and so basically, the UK company got transferred over to the Canadian side of it. So that was another loss in a way, even though it was a company, the people to be transferred somewhere else was like another loss. So there is that abandonment and fear of loss thing that really creeps into my life, specifically in relationships, it happens.

Peter Crone (3:44)

Okay.

Shaune (3:44)

When I'm in a relationship, and I'm in a new relationship now with a beautiful woman, she's the love of my life, to be honest with you. So, but I do find that I am always waiting for something to happen. And then that sense of anxiety in me that, you know, when's a shoe going to drop? When's the next what's going to happen, so to speak. So I, you know, although I'm a positive individual, I definitely think I'm coming from a place of fear, and that really manifests in my body as like, as anxiety can be debilitating a little bit.