#2493 - Protect Our Parks 16

**Ari Shaffir** (0:01)
Joe Rogan Podcast, checking in.

**Mark Normand** (0:03)
The Joe Rogan Experience.

**Joe Rogan** (0:06)
Trained by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

**Shane Gillis** (0:12)
Let's go.

**Joe Rogan** (0:13)
We're back, boys. We're back.

**Ari Shaffir** (0:16)
We are back.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:17)
We're Comedy Oasis.

**Shane Gillis** (0:19)
That's right.

**Mark Normand** (0:20)
What's the story, Morning Glory? It's been almost a year.
Wow, it's flying by.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:24)
What are we, 12 now? Is this 12th episode?

**Shane Gillis** (0:27)
I think we're 16

**Ari Shaffir** (0:28)
Yeah. I think 40

**SPEAKER_5** (0:30)
Damn, that's a lot of drinking.

**Mark Normand** (0:31)
How many times have we played Free Bird?

**Shane Gillis** (0:33)
Oh, we're playing it again. We're gonna go to the exact same episode we always did.

**Ari Shaffir** (0:38)
Yeah, we're gonna talk about coming out of the closet.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:41)
Play Metallica.

**Shane Gillis** (0:43)
Yeah, play Metallica. R.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:44)
Kelly.

**Mark Normand** (0:45)
So it turns out that that lady that was a scam, that was fake, the lady who forced the guy to fuck her, was it JP Morgan?

**Ari Shaffir** (0:52)
What?

**Mark Normand** (0:53)
Yeah, wasn't real.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:54)
She was hot.

**Mark Normand** (0:55)
Yeah, I know.

**Ari Shaffir** (0:55)
Was that in the last one we did?

**Mark Normand** (0:57)
Jamie said it's fake, right? It's fake?

**SPEAKER_5** (0:59)
Yeah, the news is going around that it's like, there was like a, the lawsuit is not accurate, apparently. It's like a retaliatory lawsuit.

**Mark Normand** (1:06)
So he just claimed that she said all those things and she made him fuck her.

**Shane Gillis** (1:10)
Damn.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:10)
What a pussy.

**Shane Gillis** (1:11)
Wait, is he an Indian guy?

**Mark Normand** (1:12)
I believe so.

**Shane Gillis** (1:13)
Yeah, gross. It does read like an Indian guy, now that I'm thinking about it.

**Mark Normand** (1:16)
Like a scam?

**Shane Gillis** (1:16)
Like the horniest guy ever. Just coming up with the hottest scene.

**Mark Normand** (1:23)
She called him cannons.
Once a lady calls her tits cannons. Have you ever heard of a girl call her tits cannons?

**Ari Shaffir** (1:30)
It's such an 18-year-old or 16-year-old boy thing.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:33)
I've never heard cannons.

**Ari Shaffir** (1:34)
Cannons, because one goes to the next.

**Mark Normand** (1:36)
I've heard guys talk about a girl's cannons when she's nowhere near them.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:40)
I've heard cans.

**Mark Normand** (1:42)
Cans, sure.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:42)
And torpedoes.

**Mark Normand** (1:44)
I've heard cannons, I think. I'm pretty sure I've heard cannons.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:47)
Nick Cannon.

**Mark Normand** (1:47)
Jugs.

**Ari Shaffir** (1:47)
Nick Cannon.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:49)
Jugs. Sweater puppets, fun bags, knockers.

**Ari Shaffir** (1:54)
Just boobs and tits.

**Mark Normand** (1:55)
But a lady saying that?

**Ari Shaffir** (1:57)
That's no lady.

**Mark Normand** (1:57)
I'm sure she said she did. That's no lady. She said, I'm sure you're a fish head Asian wife doesn't have cannons like this.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:06)
Fish head.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:07)
That's what he said.

**Mark Normand** (2:08)
That's what he said, she said.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:10)
Damn.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:10)
What's that Demi Moore movie? Is he claiming it's that?

**SPEAKER_5** (2:13)
Striptease.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:14)
No, no, she was the boss. So she made the guy fuck her?

**SPEAKER_5** (2:16)
Disclosure.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:17)
Disclosure.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:18)
Oh, I still yank it to that one.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:20)
Oh, gosh, she was hot.

**Shane Gillis** (2:21)
That article almost made me yank it this morning.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:23)
I know, right?

**Shane Gillis** (2:23)
I was laying in bed seeing that Twitter thing. Fish head, ooh.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:27)
She's hot. Indian guys should write more slutty.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:29)
This guy's a writer, yeah.

**Mark Normand** (2:30)
So if he got fired and he made up that story, what should the repercussions be?

**Ari Shaffir** (2:36)
Jail.

**Mark Normand** (2:37)
Yeah.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:37)
You can't just do that.

**Mark Normand** (2:38)
Especially, well, for sure, if it was a guy, the guy would be, if it was a guy and a woman claimed that the guy said these terrible things, the guy would be fired, he would be shamed, but no one's mad at that lady. No, no. No one's mad at that lady for making him fuck her.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:55)
No, he loved the lady.

**Ari Shaffir** (2:56)
Even in the moment before he came out as a hoax, when they thought it was true, her boss was like, come on, you can't be doing that. That's about as bad as it got.

**Mark Normand** (3:04)
Or he pulled her into the office and go, let me see him.

**Ari Shaffir** (3:07)
Let me see his cannons.