23 Weeks 6 Days

Pat Walters (0:01)

Hey, this is Radiolab. I'm Pat Walters, one of the editors here. And this episode we're about to play is, well, it started as a newspaper story that a friend of mine, and actually one of my first editors in journalism, wrote way back in 2012 for the Tampa Bay Times. And when I read it, it just destroyed me. And I sent it to Jad and I was like, you got to interview Kelley about this story. And he did. And the episode it became is still one of my favorite episodes of the show ever.

And when we started talking about playing it again, I wondered, how's everybody doing now? All these years later.

So I checked in. I really didn't know what to expect. And what we found was very moving.

That's at the end. I hope you'll stick around and listen to it. But first, here's the original episode, 23 weeks, 6 days.

Robert Krollwitz (0:58)

Yeah, wait, you're listening.

SPEAKER_5 (1:05)

You're listening to Radiolab.

SPEAKER_3 (1:07)

Radiolab.

SPEAKER_7 (1:08)

From WNYC. Rewind.

Robert Krollwitz (1:18)

Kelley, can you hear me? Yeah. Okay, good. All right. So we're just doing this because...

Jad Abumrad (1:23)

Because that article you wrote was one of the most amazing things we've ever read. Oh, thank you.

Okay. I'm Jad Abumrad.

Robert Krollwitz (1:30)

I'm Robert Krollwitz.

Jad Abumrad (1:31)

This is Radiolab. And today, a story about a decision.

Robert Krollwitz (1:35)

About a decision that we, as human beings, we've only recently begun to consider.

Jad Abumrad (1:41)

Yeah.

Robert Krollwitz (1:41)

Sure, there are stories like this elsewhere, but somehow...

Kelley Benham (1:45)

Not too many.

Jad Abumrad (1:46)

Yeah, maybe not. No. So we're going to devote the entire hour to just this one story, which I think is a first for us.

Robert Krollwitz (1:51)

I think it is. And the story comes to us from a woman named Kelley Benham.

She's a reporter for the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Maybe the way to do this is chronologically, just sort of across time. Where were you and who... What did you want to do?

Kelley Benham (2:06)

When I decided to have a baby? Yeah.

Jad Abumrad (2:08)

Were you one of those people who, ever since you were young, you knew that you would be a mom?

Kelley Benham (2:13)

Yeah, I did. But I wasn't like... I didn't play with a lot of dolls or babysit.

But I always just kind of had this weird certainty that I'd have a daughter.

Jad Abumrad (2:25)

And a daughter and not a son?

Kelley Benham (2:27)

Maybe a son too, but I don't know. I think I always thought I would have a daughter. And I sort of had this image of her in my head.

Jad Abumrad (2:32)

And what was the image?

Kelley Benham (2:33)

Like really feisty, mischievous, dark hair, dirty face.

Jad Abumrad (2:41)

Okay. We've left princess land now.

Kelley Benham (2:44)

Not a princess at all. Like a tree climber and a dog chaser. I really wanted to have a baby.

I wanted one very badly.

Tom French (2:51)

But I just couldn't see how it made sense for me to be the father.

Jad Abumrad (2:56)

That's Tom French, also a journalist at the Tampa Bay Times, or he was at the time. And Kelley had been dating for a few years, but he was a good 10 years older than her.

Tom French (3:05)

I had two kids.

Jad Abumrad (3:06)

Sons.

Tom French (3:07)

Approaching the end of college. And I was ready to travel. I wanted to see Spain and Greece.

Robert Krollwitz (3:13)

The world tour on the cruise ship where you get to be the poker master, or whatever you would think.

Tom French (3:18)

The only world tour I would have been interested was Springsteen, following Springsteen around Europe. I'd made up my mind.

Jad Abumrad (3:25)

No more kids.

Tom French (3:26)

But she was insistent.

Kelley Benham (3:28)

Oh, I stuck to it.

Tom French (3:29)

She saw our daughter very clearly. Oh yeah. And saw that I was destined to be that little girl's father.

Jad Abumrad (3:35)

And was that a happy, gentle disagreement or the other kind?

Kelley Benham (3:38)

Oh, it was brutal. We broke up and we worked at the same place. There was kind of an invisible line in the newsroom that neither of us would cross.

Tom French (3:47)

The line was the mailboxes.

Jad Abumrad (3:49)

There really was a line, wow.

Kelley Benham (3:50)

Yeah. It was a horrible time. We call it the dark era.

Tom French (3:53)

The dark period.

Robert Krollwitz (3:54)

What turned you?