#2265 - Kurt Metzger

Kurt Metzger (0:03)

The Joe Rogan Experience.

Jamie (0:06)

Trained by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!

SPEAKER_4 (0:18)

Meet the Cosby Kids. Oh my god, look at this, the thing says meet the Cosby Kids.

SPEAKER_5 (0:26)

Who wrote this sketch?

SPEAKER_4 (0:27)

I don't know, but what's funny is that back then, that was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_5 (0:33)

Yes, hey, I mean, Phil Hartman is gone, but all the rest of you, thanks for speaking up. Hey, this reminds me of the sketch that we did. Right. How come I just heard of this now?

SPEAKER_4 (0:44)

How come I just heard of this now?

SPEAKER_5 (0:45)

Boy, SNL was funny.

SPEAKER_4 (0:46)

Oh, SNL was great when Phil Hartman was on it. The early days of SNL were amazing.

SPEAKER_5 (0:52)

Was Al Franken working there when they did that?

SPEAKER_4 (0:54)

I don't know.

SPEAKER_5 (0:54)

Because I would think Senator Franken would have said something.

SPEAKER_4 (0:57)

He's not saying it anymore. He got caught hugging a girl.

SPEAKER_5 (1:00)

Yeah. I would think after you got screwed over like that, you wouldn't still do Blue Maga, but I guess you would.

SPEAKER_4 (1:05)

He's just locked in. That guy is great too. Al Franken is a great guy.

SPEAKER_5 (1:11)

He had a funny, what time is it on Conan? He just made me laugh so hard. He was saying how great it is for kids here. My son just did a third grade report on bestiality.

And the other kids just loved it. Like, you know, he delivers.

SPEAKER_4 (1:34)

How crazy is it, though, that that was a preposterous sketch?

SPEAKER_5 (1:38)

Well, you know, John Money, I'm sure whoever wrote that knew about John Money, right? The guy that came up with that. I bet they didn't.

SPEAKER_4 (1:45)

I bet they just did it.

SPEAKER_5 (1:45)

It's a bunch of lampoon Harvard people, right?

SPEAKER_4 (1:48)

Right.

SPEAKER_5 (1:49)

So, you know, they go, oh, the Simpsons, how do they predict the future? You're near the people that pull the levers of power in college. Like, you're just going to osmosis up their fucking plans. It ain't psychic.

SPEAKER_4 (2:00)

But they don't, like, broadcast their plans to students, undergrad students.

SPEAKER_5 (2:04)

Yeah, they do. Why don't you think we got? What do you think a Rhodes Scholar is? That's them broadcasting their plans. That's what the great Bill Clinton, I believe you had a meaningful eye contact with.

SPEAKER_4 (2:18)

What do you mean by broadcast their plans?

SPEAKER_5 (2:22)

The plans have never been seen.

SPEAKER_4 (2:25)

The plans were never in the 90s or the 80s. The plans were never turned boys into girls.

SPEAKER_5 (2:30)

Well, not in your department, but you know how far back they should go? You know in Rome, the galleys of Kibli? You know what that is? When they were losing a Hannibal and the priestess of Kibli? It's like C-Y-B-E-L-E.

It looks like Sibili, but it's Kibli. Okay. And the myth behind it is insane. Like the myth story is this one god that was too horny, that had both sets of organs. So they trick him. I love like, they trick him with wine and they tie his dick to the ground. Come on, somebody went to church on Sunday. Somebody went to a church and learned this.

SPEAKER_4 (3:08)

Tie his dick to the ground like how they do a bull? Like through the nose?

SPEAKER_5 (3:11)

Yes, yes, that's exactly. And then he jumped up and it ripped his dick off.

SPEAKER_4 (3:15)

Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_5 (3:18)

And then so he starts hanging out with his handsome nephew and his nephew is faking like he's a great hunter because this dickless uncle, he still has a pussy, the uncle. But these gods sure sound like just LA people.

Why don't the gods just sound like LA people? Okay, so my favorite, yeah, the eunuch priest. So my favorite writing about is like when they celebrate Kibli and then the legend or the myth has more of like this wedding gets sabotaged by the jealous ripped off dick guy and the women cut off their own breasts and the men cut off their genitals. And there's an early Christian, I can't remember who's writing about it, but he goes, he goes, they cut off their genitals and go about shrieking in the street.

SPEAKER_4 (4:05)

They cast themselves as a sign of devotion to the goddess.

SPEAKER_5 (4:08)

Yeah, so I don't think nothing's new, you know, I think it's all the same shit repackaged in different ways.

SPEAKER_4 (4:14)

So then, you know, They wore saffron rose and clash symbols together as they walked down the streets. So they're basically having like one of those women's protests.