#2257 - Bryan Callen

Joe Rogan (0:03)

The Joe Rogan Experience.

Bryan Callen (0:06)

Shrink by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

Bryan Callen (0:12)

Joe Rogan, my wife, I smoked on these and I didn't brush my teeth. I woke up the next morning and my wife said, your breath is four dimensional.

Joe Rogan (0:21)

He didn't brush your teeth before you went to bed and he smoked a cigar?

Bryan Callen (0:24)

Of course I didn't brush my teeth before I went to bed. Give a fuck. You know what I mean? You're married, you're married. I love you so much. Your breath is four dimensional. You know these fires.

I have two small children now. Because what I want to do is, what you want to do is you want to get divorced and then you want to have get married again to a woman who's 23 years younger and then have two more kids because that's good.

Joe Rogan (0:45)

And then I definitely takes a lot of financial stress off your back.

Bryan Callen (0:48)

There's no financial stress at all. It's great. You know if I hustle till I'm 80, I'll be fine.

Anyway, it's going to be really awkward when I call you at 75 I just need help this month. But anyway, so I fucking, I look at her and I go, she's like a girl from Jersey, like Irish Italian chick, no nonsense, you know, been working since she was 16 And I go, you know, we had an evacuation order that they sent out by accident to people even down where I'm at.

Joe Rogan (1:17)

Yeah, what was that?

Bryan Callen (1:18)

It was some guy who fucked up because I don't know if you know, this is going to be shocking, grab the table. L.A.'s not run very well.

Joe Rogan (1:26)

Hold on.

Bryan Callen (1:26)

I know. What the fuck are you saying? See, here's the thing, we have to worry about, I know.

Joe Rogan (1:31)

Isn't the chief of fire department a lesbian?

Bryan Callen (1:33)

Now hold on, let's not turn this into, listen, here's the bottom line.

Joe Rogan (1:36)

It's run amazing.

Bryan Callen (1:37)

It's not about infrastructure. Infrastructure's gotta take-

Joe Rogan (1:39)

I won't sit here while you disparage the great people that are running Los Angeles.

Bryan Callen (1:44)

Sir, infrastructure's gotta take a backseat to climate change and social justice and homeless abatement, which hasn't worked.

Joe Rogan (1:49)

See the lady who's responsible for filling the fire hydrants gets paid $750,000 a year.

Bryan Callen (1:55)

Hey, your tax dollars going to good work there, everybody.

Joe Rogan (1:58)

That's a lot of money.

Bryan Callen (1:59)

You think?

Joe Rogan (1:59)

That's sitcom money.

Bryan Callen (2:00)

You think? I said-

Joe Rogan (2:01)

That's like, I'm the star of a sitcom.

Bryan Callen (2:03)

Oh, dude.

Joe Rogan (2:04)

It's star. But like, you're the third person on sitcom.

Bryan Callen (2:06)

No, that's a high wage, sir. $750,000 for a city employer who's-

Joe Rogan (2:10)

For someone just like, fill that one.

Bryan Callen (2:14)

How the aquifers-

How the aquifers today? Get the water in that one. You know what? We gotta protect the Delta smelt. Yeah. Whatever the fuck that is. So we gotta-

Joe Rogan (2:22)

Trump was talking about that on the podcast. On the podcast I did with him, Trump was going on this long rampage about Los Angeles and the fires, and how it all can be prevented, and they could have plenty of water. He explained the whole thing, and he's right.

Bryan Callen (2:38)

Here's my whole philosophy. You guys know, you know that we have a Tinder box. Then you can say that there are a lot of people that live there. The fires are always a potential.

If that's the case, then please make sure the fire hydrants... We've got to be able to figure it out. You guys in LA, California came up with AI. I mean, the Silicon Valley was pretty innovative people. Let's figure out a way to keep the fucking...

Joe Rogan (3:02)

Very different people.

Bryan Callen (3:03)

They are very different people, sir.

Joe Rogan (3:04)

That's like saying people in America are homeless and also Elon Musk, you know what I'm saying?

Bryan Callen (3:11)

Well, get some people down in government who are innovative like that. What the fuck are we doing?

Bryan Callen (3:15)

They don't want to do that job.

Bryan Callen (3:17)

Do you know the City Council of Los Angeles? Four of the members of the City Council are far left social democrats. How about that? There's zero pushback on ideas. It's just all ideology.