#1944 - Ryan Long

Ryan Long (0:04)

The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan (0:06)

Trained by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

SPEAKER_4 (0:12)

What do you hold the record for?

Ryan Long (0:14)

Longest bottle reused in my podcast.

SPEAKER_4 (0:18)

Of water?

Ryan Long (0:20)

Two years I had the same bottle.

Joe Rogan (0:21)

No.

Ryan Long (0:22)

Yeah, until, yeah, the guy I did the podcast with was like, the mount of carcinogenics must be running through your body.

SPEAKER_4 (0:28)

So were you just adding water to it all the time?

Ryan Long (0:30)

Yeah, yeah, every day I'd come in. I'm the ultimate environmentalist, really.

SPEAKER_4 (0:33)

I don't know if that's bad for you.

I think what's bad for you is just drinking on a plastic period. Like if your bottle is sitting there filled with water for months and months on a shelf, wouldn't that leach more plastic in it than water that you just pour in there?

Ryan Long (0:50)

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_4 (0:51)

Yeah, it would seem to me that like the real fear would be, I think, correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm definitely wrong.

Ryan Long (0:58)

Propaganda.

SPEAKER_4 (1:00)

I think the real fear is the heat. I think when you like have plastic bottles are sitting outside in the sun.

Ryan Long (1:08)

Yeah, I leave them in the sun.

SPEAKER_4 (1:10)

That's an issue.

Ryan Long (1:10)

So I like them to marinate.

SPEAKER_4 (1:13)

That's when you get all the phthalates in your dick shrinks. That's what's happening to people, you know.

Yeah, we're already starting.

Ryan Long (1:21)

Okay, we're starting.

SPEAKER_4 (1:22)

We're just.

Ryan Long (1:22)

Did you see, well, I just read this, the dicks have enlarged in the last.

SPEAKER_4 (1:26)

I know, I thought dicks were shrinking. I just saw a new study.

Ryan Long (1:29)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_4 (1:30)

And it's a problem. Mine's been shrinking, but.

That was what was hilarious. Dicks are getting bigger, and this could be a real issue. Like, how?

Ryan Long (1:38)

Sure.

SPEAKER_4 (1:39)

Rulers got smaller. Rulers got smaller. People just started lying.

Ryan Long (1:43)

That is the South Park episode where they go, yeah, we just changed the measurements.

We went down to, we just started measuring. How did they get smaller? We started measuring in millimeters.

SPEAKER_4 (1:51)

Bro, when I was a kid, they tried to put us on the metric system, which is a far more efficient system. System of tens.

Jamie (1:56)

Stanford scope.

SPEAKER_4 (1:57)

An increase in penal length cause for concern? What fucking, what are you concerned about?

Ryan Long (2:02)

It's cause for concern for the ladies, you know?

Joe Rogan (2:04)

Yeah, what are you concerned about?

Ryan Long (2:05)

Ladies are walking funny to work every day.

SPEAKER_4 (2:07)

Look at this. A rec penal length is getting longer from an average of 4.8 inches. Go to that. What does it say there?

Here's why this is actually a problem.

Ryan Long (2:19)

No, I think this was originally a Vice article. This one, this is from a couple of years ago, and it was a guy writing how actually small dicks are kind of better, if you think about it.

Joe Rogan (2:28)

Oh, sure, buddy.

SPEAKER_4 (2:31)

No women are writing that article. It's so sad. The penis size is so sad. There's not a damn thing they could do about it. They could put a man on the moon. They can't make your dick bigger.

Ryan Long (2:41)

They have not. They do the enlargement, but it doesn't work all that great. There was a guy, I actually used to do a bit about it. There was a guy, his name is Ahud Laniandro, and he got the best dick enlargement money could buy because he's like a billionaire dude, right? And then he died during the thing.

Died during the enlargement.

SPEAKER_4 (2:59)

Oh, he probably died from the anesthesia, right?

Ryan Long (3:02)

I wonder.

SPEAKER_4 (3:02)

Yeah, man, getting put under is no joke. They're very, very, very, very good at it now, but it still carries some risks.

Ryan Long (3:12)

Or, yeah, in the dick, they made him such a good dick, the doctor was like, I can't let this...

SPEAKER_4 (3:17)

He had it poisoned in case his wife saw that dick.

Ryan Long (3:20)

No one can... Yeah, this is... I can't let the Frankenstein situation...

I can't allow this. Walking the earth, just punishing women.

SPEAKER_4 (3:30)

That would be the number one industry in the country if there was an actual dick enlargement product. They just nailed it. It would be bigger than Apple.

Joe Rogan (3:39)