#1913 - Brian Redban

Joe Rogan (0:15)

We're up, we're back, baby.

Brian Redban (0:16)

Wee!

Joe Rogan (0:17)

Dude, isn't this like, we're closing in on our anniversary.

SPEAKER_3 (0:20)

Yeah, again.

Brian Redban (0:21)

What is it?

Joe Rogan (0:21)

Again. It's the 31st, I think we did. I think we did it on New Year's Day, or New Year's Eve, rather.

Christmas Eve? Oh, that's right. Thank you, Jamie. Christmas Eve of 2009

And here we are, 2022, and we're about to go into civil war, total anarchy, the purge, all the above.

Brian Redban (0:41)

Everyone's losing their mind.

Joe Rogan (0:43)

Everyone's losing their fucking mind.

Did you see the breakout in the zoo? Did you see about that?

Brian Redban (0:48)

No.

Joe Rogan (0:48)

Oh my God. A bunch of chimps.

They broke free, and they went wild, and they gunned them down. They gunned down, I think they gunned down three of them, or four of them. It says, insane things are happening. How do you say that word? Ferozic?

Where's Ferozic?

Jamie (1:05)

Let's check.

Joe Rogan (1:06)

Germany? Sounds like it, right?

Jamie (1:09)

Sweden.

Joe Rogan (1:10)

Sweden. Okay.

They're pretty peaceful over there. They're gunning down chimps.

So it says, insane things are happening at the Ferozic Zoo. Four chimpanzees gunned down after a breakout. And a fifth shot, but only wounded. Three more on the loose. Drones are used to survey the besieged zoo. After 24 plus hours, the bodies still litter the ground. Zoo says they were out of tranquilizers.

SPEAKER_3 (1:35)

What? Bro.

Joe Rogan (1:36)

Fuck zoos.

Brian Redban (1:38)

Is there a video of this?

Joe Rogan (1:39)

Fuck zoos.

Brian Redban (1:41)

Oh, man. It's just like.

Joe Rogan (1:42)

I told you about that time. I got super duper high, and I went to the zoo with my kids, and I got really bummed out. I wrote a story about it, about animal prison. Zoos are horrible. They're horrible. They're horrible. The only one who gets out of the zoo that I had that old bit about giraffes, they're the only ones that seem to have a good day. They're like another day with no lions.

They don't give a fuck. They're happy to be in the zoo. They have zero problems with the zoo. No one's trying to kill them.

They just eat, and they're the only animals that they let babies feed them.

When my daughters were little, they could take a piece of like little tiny, you'd hold them. And they hold a piece of lettuce out, and this giant giraffe tongue comes out and wraps around the leaf and takes it from them. And everybody laughs. And you never have to worry about giraffes being cunts.

Brian Redban (2:28)

I bet they're the majority of the animals like the zoo. They don't give a shit like giraffes. I bet they're, oh, we're getting fed. I bet there's things like chimpanzees and certain animals that shouldn't be in a zoo. But half the animals don't give a shit.

Joe Rogan (2:40)

I think the big one with lions is they don't get to kill anything. You know, that's like if someone just extracted sperm from you and you never got to have sex your whole life.

Brian Redban (2:51)

You're just like, oh, it is weird.

Joe Rogan (2:54)

Yeah, but that's their instinct, right? They have a built-in survival instinct to chase things and kill things. They're the cleanup crew. Oops. They're the cleanup crew for the jungle.

That's what they do. Like when something's slipping, something's not quick enough, the lions are there to keep the balance. Otherwise, the deer would just overbreed, you know, all the antelopes would be too many of them. They'd eat things to kill them. So they have this insane desire to kill things. And then when you just feed them meat every day, they're like, okay, I'll eat this. But I just want to fucking chase something. They don't even have any room to move around.

Dude, I went to I was coming home from a gig once.

Actually, I don't think it was a gig. I think it couldn't have been because it was during the day. But it was early days of my comedy career. I was like 21 years old and I was in Massachusetts and I was driving home and I saw this little zoo on the side of the road. Like there was a direction to this little-ass zoo. So I said, all right, let me just, you know, I got a little time to kill. We'll check out this little zoo.

It was horrible. There was this polar bear. And he was in a room that was not much bigger than this fucking studio and he was just walking around in circles, just walking in circles like a crazy person. I was like, oh no, it was just so sad.