190: 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming A Dad

Nick Bare (0:00)

Hey guys, so before we dive into today's episode, I want to let you know that my fitness app has officially relaunched. It is the Go One More method. It's at nickbarefitness.app. And this is where I'm pouring my heart and soul into. Everything that I have learned over the last 15 plus years of my training in nutrition life, I want to provide you guys so you can be more consistent and more successful on your fitness and health journey. So in the app, we have new workouts that are released every single Sunday. A new week of workouts called GoM Daily. If you don't want to do that set of workouts for that week, I also have other programs included, hybrid athlete training programs focused on running and lifting. So if you want to get started today, you want to transform your mind, your body, your health, and your performance, go to nickbarefitness.app and get started with the Go One More method alongside me.

Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today's title and topic, five things I wish I knew before becoming a dad. I've now been a dad for a little over four years. My daughter recently turned four years old. My son recently turned two years old. I have learned a lot in these short four years. And I know with a lot of confidence that there is so much more to learn in the next couple decades, the rest of my life. This is by no means a podcast where I share all the answers. That I figured it out. That I have this silver bullet to parenting. I am figuring it out right now, just like many of you guys. It is by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Like nothing even compares to how hard and frustrating and challenging being a parent, being a dad is. And this is cliche, and so many people say it, but it is the best thing. It is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. It has changed my life completely. Not by a little bit, not by a fraction. It has flipped my life upside down, and that is one of the reasons I have learned so much. In these last four years, I have learned more about myself, about people, about leadership, about values, about what really matters. More in these last four years than I did in the previous 32 years of my life. One of the books I'll be referencing during this conversation that I highly recommend, it's called The Intentional Father by John Tyson, A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage in Character. Now, this book, it was recommended to me by so many people. It's a faith driven in Jesus Following based book. It's a Christian book. And John Tyson has done an amazing job putting this piece together. Now, as the subtitle implies, A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage in Character, I believe it was written to raise sons so that boys can become men. But a lot of the principles and just content in this book is applicable to being a father altogether. Whether you have a daughter, a son, I've been able to apply a lot of these lessons to raising both of my children. A lot of the lessons in this book, I won't be able to apply until my son, my children get a little bit older. Teenagers and beyond, but exceptional read. The Intentional Father by John Tyson. Highly recommend it. One of the quotes that he adds into this book, it's by John Green. The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you're unqualified to do. And then you become qualified while doing it. I share that because it's so true. I think it lays the foundation for what I'm about to share. The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are, I am, doing something that we are unqualified to do. And then you become qualified while and by doing it. So five things I wish I knew before becoming a dad. The first, this is not the end. It is the end of the beginning. Winston Churchill, now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end, but it is perhaps the end of the beginning. I heard this reference a while ago, a couple months, maybe over a year ago, and I've shared it before on one of my previous episodes, but I love the way this was described. It's the comparison, a cornerstone versus a capstone, and how that perspective can be applied to your life, especially when it comes to becoming a father, having kids. The capstone approach. Is that society often teaches people to wait until they own a home, reach peak salary, and check off every personal goal before having kids. Children become the final decorative stone on top of an already completed tower.