#1882 - Iliza Shlesinger

Joe Rogan (0:04)

The Joe Rogan Experience.

Iliza Shlesinger (0:13)

This room and office have gotten more and more Texas.

Has it? Yes.

Joe Rogan (0:17)

How so?

Iliza Shlesinger (0:17)

Well, I thought that was a jackalope, but it's not. It's probably...

Joe Rogan (0:20)

It's a mule deer...

Iliza Shlesinger (0:21)

.that you ran down yourself and strangled.

I thought it was a jackalope, which is a very Texas thing. But it's, you know, you've got... You've got, like, the Mexican sugar skulls, and then you've got a lot of... Do you have a picture of Willie Nelson somewhere?

Joe Rogan (0:37)

No. He probably should.

Iliza Shlesinger (0:40)

You need to. I'm sure he owned this land at some point. You got, like, the... It's that very desert, conspiracy, alien, rugged...

It's like a convergence of a lot of Texas things.

And it's very... I'm from here. I get it. Even the Joe Rogan Experience sign looks like a movie theater gas station marquee.

Joe Rogan (0:56)

Yeah, that was actually a gift by a friend of mine.

Iliza Shlesinger (0:59)

I believe it.

Joe Rogan (1:00)

And so when he gave it to me, I was like, that would be perfect, like, right behind me.

Iliza Shlesinger (1:03)

Right behind you. So people know... So people know what they're looking at.

Joe Rogan (1:06)

Yeah. Plus, it's cool.

Iliza Shlesinger (1:08)

It's the Joe Rogan Experience, baby.

Joe Rogan (1:10)

What's going on with you? How you living?

Iliza Shlesinger (1:12)

Large. Large, but toned.

Toned. Living, toned. That's what every... That's the girl answer. Like, large, not taking up too much space, but I'm owning it.

Joe Rogan (1:22)

Yeah, girls don't want to live large, right? You don't want to say large.

Iliza Shlesinger (1:25)

I get, unless you're like, that's the frame. You want to be taking up metaphysical space, but also toned.

Joe Rogan (1:31)

Unless it's big girl summer.

Iliza Shlesinger (1:33)

Yo, I'm all for a big girl summer. I'm all for a gross girl summer. I'm all for...

No one actually cares.

Joe Rogan (1:40)

Gross girl summer? No one's actually tried that, have they?

Iliza Shlesinger (1:43)

I don't think you have to try. I think you just are gross girl.

Joe Rogan (1:45)

Right.

Iliza Shlesinger (1:45)

And you just be like...

Joe Rogan (1:46)

You just don't bring it up.

Iliza Shlesinger (1:47)

Don't bring it up. And just exist in your cave and be like, I'm just gross girl, enjoying my cheese.

Joe Rogan (1:53)

So, your book's out?

Iliza Shlesinger (1:55)

My book, All Things... Which I gave you a copy of.

Joe Rogan (1:57)

Yeah.

Iliza Shlesinger (1:57)

You leave it in the bathroom?

Joe Rogan (1:58)

No, no. It's on the bookshelf out there.

Iliza Shlesinger (2:00)

Okay. My book, All Things Aside, Absolutely Correct Opinions, Collection of Personal Essays, is out on October 11th, the same day as my Netflix special, Hot Forever.

Joe Rogan (2:11)

Excited?

Iliza Shlesinger (2:12)

I'm pumped.

Joe Rogan (2:13)

Yeah?

Iliza Shlesinger (2:13)

Like many comics, I flew here to do this and then booked a bunch of stuff around it. Thanks for the bracelets. Thank you.

Oh, I'm surprised they fit.

Joe Rogan (2:22)

They do. They're stringy.

Iliza Shlesinger (2:24)

They are stringy.

Joe Rogan (2:24)

They have elastic.

Iliza Shlesinger (2:26)

But like I thought, I think of putting a bracelet on you like a really vascular wolf, and I thought the beads would just go everywhere. So give them to your daughters when you're done stretching them out.

Joe Rogan (2:36)

I will. I'll give them to them. They'll be mad that I wore it.

Iliza Shlesinger (2:39)

Because you got like gross dad juices on it.

Joe Rogan (2:42)

Yeah, it smells like a man.

Iliza Shlesinger (2:43)

The worst is, I will say, now that I'm a mother, my husband is a father, I've noticed the bites he takes of my food when I share with him are like big dad bites.

Like nothing will infuriate a little girl more than when your dad takes a bite of your food and it's like a moose hunk out of it. And you're like, it was just for a little bite because dads have big jaws.

Joe Rogan (3:03)

So he takes food from you? How is this going on?

Iliza Shlesinger (3:05)

I'll just be like, oh, do you want to try it? He'll be like, okay. And it will be like out of a peach and it'll be like a fucking horse bite. And I'm like, okay, well, that was half the meal.

Joe Rogan (3:12)

Well, he's a chef, so he probably really enjoys food. So it's normal, right?