#1879 - Sober October 4

**Joe Rogan** (0:04)
The Joe Rogan Experience.

**Ari Shaffir** (0:09)
You got some Stogies, Bert?

**Bert Kreischer** (0:13)
I bought cigars. There's nothing better that, we're already never talking about this, than a cigar and a coffee in the morning.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:18)
In the morning, yeah.

**Tom Segura** (0:19)
You know what's better, a joint?

**Bert Kreischer** (0:21)
We should address that.

**Tom Segura** (0:22)
Yeah, it's a real issue.

**Bert Kreischer** (0:25)
Not with me, Tom.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (0:26)
No, of course not.

**Bert Kreischer** (0:27)
Dude, I don't have the cravings that Joe has.
You gotta see Stanhope in the green room these days. Are we recording?

**Christina Pazsitzky** (0:35)
Wait, are you?

**Joe Rogan** (0:36)
Fucking Stanhope over here.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (0:38)
Are you not having any drinking cravings?

**Tom Segura** (0:40)
Because I smoked a cigarette?

**Christina Pazsitzky** (0:41)
Huh?

**Bobby Lee** (0:42)
Chugging it.

**Tom Segura** (0:43)
I smoked one yesterday.

**Bobby Lee** (0:45)
You breathed it down in one gulp.

**Tom Segura** (0:47)
No, no, no, I didn't even smoke the whole thing.

**Bert Kreischer** (0:49)
If Camel Cigarettes could do an ad of you sucking down a cigarette.

**Tom Segura** (0:53)
I would sniff paint.
I would spray paint into a paper bag to get a little bit of a buzz before I go on stage. I was just trying to find something.

**Ari Shaffir** (1:15)
I'm telling you.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (1:19)
I stood up too fast the other day and it felt good. I stood up too fast and it felt good.

**Tom Segura** (1:24)
You know what I really feel with the weed? Writing. When I sit down to write. When I don't have weed, and I just sit down to write, it's like I'm writing with weights on. You know, it's like running.
Running with a weight vest on. It's like, oh. With weed, I just can get into it. I just get into my head, and I just find ideas.

**Bert Kreischer** (1:43)
I like being on stage. Last night was fun, I was stone sober.
And I love being on stage sober.

**Tom Segura** (1:49)
Last night was fun, though.

**Bert Kreischer** (1:50)
It was funny shit.

**Tom Segura** (1:51)
That was a great crowd.

**Bert Kreischer** (1:55)
I took one chance to a couple to the far right, older dude, and I didn't see his chick. She was against the wall. And I was making a joke about Leann being old. And I looked over, and I saw his chick, and she was his age. And I went, oh shit, your chick's old.
But then I said, age appropriate. And then she was like, yeah. Yeah, because Leann, the biggest thing is when you upgrade. Oh, yeah.
When you down age, we had a buddy upgrade.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (2:23)
His brains just check, and she's fucking angry at that.

**Bobby Lee** (2:26)
And we get angry at anyone else doing it.

**Tom Segura** (2:28)
But isn't it interesting that guys don't give a fuck? Like if a woman is getting divorced, and then she starts fucking her personal trainer, and he's like 32, no one cares.

**Bobby Lee** (2:37)
No one cares.

**Tom Segura** (2:37)
46 year old woman, 30 year old personal trainer, no one cares. No one cares at all.

**Bobby Lee** (2:41)
Yeah, if she's single and doing it.

**Tom Segura** (2:43)
Good for her, look, she's got a hot young guy.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (2:45)
Women are constantly threatened by youth, though.
That's what they're threatened by. Men are threatened by a bigger guy, like a stronger, bigger version of them, that's the threat.

**Tom Segura** (2:57)
And that's how money thing too.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (2:58)
Money too, status.

**Tom Segura** (2:59)
Yeah, money is a big one that angers men. Like when a woman leaves a man for a rich man, that one is infuriating. Because that seems like the one that's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (3:10)
You can't do anything about it. The same reason the woman can't do anything, like if you go, my new chick's 24 Right. She can't do anything about it.

**Tom Segura** (3:17)
Women get angry.

**Bobby Lee** (3:18)
Yeah, if you have a girl leave you for like a college senior, it's like, all right.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (3:24)
Yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (3:25)
I mean, I'm sorry you left me, but like, that's fine.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (3:27)
Yeah.

**Tom Segura** (3:28)
I would think it's funny.

**Bobby Lee** (3:29)
Yeah.

**Bert Kreischer** (3:30)
But it must be like, good luck with all that fucking.

**Christina Pazsitzky** (3:32)
Here's the thing, that college senior, you know, the funny thing is, the college senior would not be a threat to your status. He for sure would be a poorer person, you know what I mean?