#1847 - Theo Von

Theo Von (0:16)

You open that again one time, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_2 (0:18)

Just pull it down.

Joe Rogan (0:20)

Yeah, flip the top. There you go, and then pull that down.

How would you not know whether or not you've smoked a cigar?

Theo Von (0:32)

Well, I used to work at this business company. I worked at this insurance company. I did paperwork, not paperwork, but I mailed papers for them. And like mailings, I guess.

I guess that's paperwork.

Joe Rogan (0:45)

Yeah.

Theo Von (0:45)

And the man had a lot of nice cigars in there.

Joe Rogan (0:48)

And you may or may not have smoked one.

Theo Von (0:51)

I feel like he tried to teach you one time. Oh, I feel my heart shutting.

Is that always like it is?

SPEAKER_2 (0:56)

I don't know. No, your heart doesn't shut.

Joe Rogan (1:02)

I think it's the smelling salts. We just tried a new batch of the smelling salts. Last time I did smelling salts, first time was with you, right?

And we just got a new batch and it was way stronger. Because we did one with Red Band and it was old. It was the old ones and they get weak after a while. But that one was a fresh eat. Like we pulled the tab off the top and took a hit of it.

It just burned all my nostril hairs off.

Theo Von (1:30)

Oh man, it felt like somebody was fucking playing Legend of Zelda in my lungs. Brother, shit was fucking really. It goes all, it goes, it doesn't even hit your lungs. I feel like it goes through just into everything else.

Joe Rogan (1:42)

Yeah, it does a lot. Can I just tell you, your hair looks fabulous.

Theo Von (1:45)

Oh, thanks man, really?

Joe Rogan (1:46)

It looks fabulous.

Theo Von (1:47)

Thanks dude.

Joe Rogan (1:48)

It's just full everything.

Theo Von (1:50)

I just got some new hair done out of the back, put in the front. How did you do that?

Joe Rogan (1:56)

Were you losing hair?

Theo Von (1:57)

Surgery.

Joe Rogan (1:57)

Yeah? Were you losing?

Theo Von (1:58)

I don't know if I was losing as much as I was, been also getting paranoid and just trying to be preparatory, but I was having a lot of stress too last year.

Joe Rogan (2:08)

What were you having stress about?

Theo Von (2:10)

Let me think.

SPEAKER_4 (2:11)

Do you want to wear headphones or no?

Theo Von (2:13)

Oh yeah, you want to put them on? I didn't see you had yours on.

SPEAKER_4 (2:16)

I feel like I'm alone here in headphone land.

Theo Von (2:20)

It is weird, huh? It's like when you put a condom on and then the other person is just still looking at their phone. You're like, oh, this is weird.

And the person, I mean, is a woman too.

SPEAKER_4 (2:30)

Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan (2:31)

You got to tell everybody, huh?

SPEAKER_4 (2:33)

Well, I'm just saying.

Theo Von (2:35)

I just had a crazy... I had a trainer the other day and it was a gay trainer, right? And he had a purse with him the whole time. And it just...

Joe Rogan (2:44)

What's the difference between a purse and a large shoulder bag?

Theo Von (2:50)

Okay, this one, I would say it had bejewels on it, you know?

SPEAKER_4 (2:53)

Bejeweled.

Theo Von (2:55)

So, it had, yeah, you know, it looked like somebody had a... It looked like something you'd find in Egypt, you know, if you were digging.

Joe Rogan (3:03)

It was bedazzled.

Theo Von (3:04)

If you were digging in a men's locker room, it looked like something you'd find in Egypt, baby. You know what I'm talking about, baby?

Joe Rogan (3:10)

The purse thing is funny, right, because it's like purely a woman's accoutrement.

And it has always been that way. But like, why? Like backpacks, guys can wear backpacks, guys can have gym bags, guys can have all kinds of bags, but not a purse. But meanwhile, guys generally carry more shit than women do, right? I guess not women carry makeup and stuff.

Theo Von (3:32)

And guys have their nuts too, which is like in a little bag kind of... You know what I'm saying?

So, it's almost like your dick has like a little purse, or like a hand or something.

SPEAKER_2 (3:43)

A little cum purse.

SPEAKER_5 (3:48)

To restore jizz.

Theo Von (3:50)

But what else? Oh yeah, so I think...

Yeah, that's interesting. I guess, yeah, I guess maybe since women carried more stuff. I'm not sure. Let me try this.