#1666 - Duncan Trussell

Joe Rogan (0:48)

There can be only one.

I don't know. That's the rules. That was the rules.

Duncan Trussell (0:54)

That's a terrible rule. That's like the worst rule.

Joe Rogan (0:57)

But for episode 1666, there was only one option, that was you.

Duncan Trussell (1:03)

Oh, thank you, I'm honored by that. Thank you so much, Joe. It's so nice to be here.

Joe Rogan (1:07)

Dude, it's so nice to see you.

You're such a good friend that every time I see you, I'm transported, like there's no time lost. You know what I'm saying? When you're so tight with someone, that when you see them again, you're like transported. Like you're immediately back to where I last saw you again. There's no like, hey, God, haven't seen you in a while. How are you?

Duncan Trussell (1:31)

What's going on?

Joe Rogan (1:32)

It's like, ah!

Duncan Trussell (1:33)

Yeah, that's real friendship. I mean, that's it. If it's not that, what is it?

Joe Rogan (1:38)

I'm super concerned about this wig catching fire. We're surrounded by candles, and I believe this wig is flammable.

Duncan Trussell (1:46)

Yeah, that wig is from China. I don't know what it is. That could be some bizarre synthetic, that could be anything.

Joe Rogan (1:52)

This is the hair of a billionaire who said the wrong shit.

Duncan Trussell (1:54)

No shit, and they just scalped him.

Joe Rogan (1:56)

They probably made him grow his hair first.

Duncan Trussell (1:58)

Scalped him.

Joe Rogan (1:59)

They probably kept him in a tunnel somewhere and made him eat rats, whatever rats he could catch.

And just gave him hair vitamins. And then when his hair was long enough to make a wig out of it, they let him go.

Duncan Trussell (2:15)

That's a lot of work to get some hair.

Joe Rogan (2:17)

Yeah, and now all he does is coach John Cena. His job is to coach John Cena on what to say.

Duncan Trussell (2:23)

Dude, that was weird.

That was really weird. That was one of the weirdest things. I'm not a fan of, or not a fan of John Cena. No John Cena opinion. But that was just an odd.

Joe Rogan (2:33)

It was scary.

Duncan Trussell (2:34)

Because they want, it's a lot, I guess it's just a lot of money, man. The Chinese dollar.

Joe Rogan (2:38)

Here's how much money it is. Ready for this?

That movie made $160 million the opening weekend. I believe $134 million of it was from China.

Duncan Trussell (2:48)

Oh, God.

Joe Rogan (2:49)

Oh, God.

Duncan Trussell (2:50)

We gotta get in. Let's do our apologies to China.

Joe Rogan (2:53)

I need to learn Mandarin and start talking shit in Mandarin. Start doing my acting in Mandarin.

Duncan Trussell (3:03)

It sounds cool.

Joe Rogan (3:04)

It sounds great. Well, amazing. The most impressive thing about that video was not just that China got John Cena to cuck, but also that John Cena speaks perfect Mandarin.

Duncan Trussell (3:16)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (3:16)

How long did that take?

Duncan Trussell (3:18)

It's a mystery. I don't know, man. It was just strange. That's like...

That's some really, really... The most... It's, again, like, you know, when we're watching that fight... Oh, my God! Reflexes. When we're watching that fight last night, and you're just watching it, and you're trying to make sense of the new reality.

You know, because it's like you got to accept it, but he's wearing a Pikachu medallion, fighting like the best boxer alive today.

You know? But you have to watch it from the perspective of like, well, this is what is happening now, because otherwise you get this weird spinning vertigo. Like, what the fuck universe am I in? Same thing when you're like watching John Cena do some weird apology in Mandarin. It's this sense of like, what?

This is a malfunction. This is a breakdown. I don't get this. When in the history of the United States, like imagine like some old video of like John Wayne doing some apology in another language. It's just weird.

Joe Rogan (4:22)

It is weird, but it's a warning to everybody, right? To people that don't, they're not taking this sort of cultural shift seriously.

When you see an enormous alpha male in John Cena, John Cena's arms are so big, it looks like they're supposed to be a foot longer, but someone sawed them off and put a fist here. It's like if my forearm went down only to here and then the fist was there, his wrists are enormous. He's such a gorilla, right? And to see that guy saying it in Chinese and you read what he actually said, it's hard to say, right? Because one thing I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, I was like, what did he actually say? Because I don't speak Mandarin, right? I wish someone maybe that spoke Mandarin could translate it and tell me whether or not that was accurate. I'm assuming it was accurate because I haven't heard anything. You know, people who speak Mandarin must have gotten hold of it since then.