#1654 - Whitney Cummings

Whitney Cummings (0:14)

It's one o'clock, Joe.

Jamie (0:16)

Yeah, sure.

Whitney Cummings (0:17)

This is such a bad idea. I'm going to end up on 8 Chan.

Joe Rogan (0:20)

We can do whatever the fuck we want, we're comedians. We're professional comedians, Whitney Cummings.

Whitney Cummings (0:24)

You know what's so irect, and you know what's so wild to me, is you've always been Texas to me.

Is that weird? Like, I half grew up in Texas. My mom's family's from Sherman, Texas. I don't know if you know Sherman. It's north of Fort Worth. My uncle made the TI Texas Instruments calculators. Yeah, he was in the factory, built those.

Do you remember those? I used to run around my school when I was a kid and be like, my uncle makes the Texas Instruments calculators. They thought I was the coolest person on the planet. I was like bragging about them all the time. And then we got to the grade where you actually had to order the fucking calculators. And I was all of a sudden the most unpopular person in school. They were like, fuck you, fuck your uncle. Because remember they were like this, I mean they were a giant brick, and like most of the buttons were hieroglyphics.

Hieroglyphics? Remember it was like one through ten, and then it was just like all these other crazy buttons.

Joe Rogan (1:14)

Oh, right, that's right, that's right. Those TI-83, they were this big. Pull up a photo of those.

Whitney Cummings (1:19)

They were this big. Drug Wars?

SPEAKER_4 (1:23)

Yeah, you could put games on them and shit.

Joe Rogan (1:24)

Really?

SPEAKER_4 (1:25)

You guys didn't do that?

Joe Rogan (1:27)

No.

Whitney Cummings (1:27)

I remember we used to try to make dicks out of the numbers.

Joe Rogan (1:31)

How do you play Drug Wars?

SPEAKER_4 (1:33)

I mean, it was just a text game, so it would be like you go to this city and you want to buy drugs, and then you go to this city and you buy a bunch of drugs. Is that it?

Joe Rogan (1:40)

That looks like a Blackberry.

Whitney Cummings (1:41)

This is before the Silk Road.

Joe Rogan (1:43)

I remember when the Blackberries were out, and I was like, I am never going with something without a button. My friend got an iPhone, I'm like, what is that nonsense? You're typing on a screen?

Whitney Cummings (1:50)

That's so stupid. It also seemed so unsanitary at the time, iPhone, versus the buttons.

Joe Rogan (1:56)

The buttons get all the stuff in between the cracks.

Whitney Cummings (2:00)

That shit was nasty.

Joe Rogan (2:01)

The gunk.

SPEAKER_4 (2:01)

See, this is like drug wars. It just would list it.

Joe Rogan (2:05)

Pigs broke up a drug ring at Greenwood, OBGYN.

SPEAKER_4 (2:08)

So you'd have to move cities.

Joe Rogan (2:09)

Xanax and bike.

Whitney Cummings (2:09)

So it would get messages? Like a pager?

SPEAKER_4 (2:11)

It was just like you had a pager, and you were a drug dealer, and you had to be successful.

Joe Rogan (2:15)

See, pagers were like, Joey Diaz always had a pager.

And then people got those pagers that had messages. Sky pagers? You could type a message. People were texting. They were texting pagers like, hey, meet me at Mike's house. That was the thing.

That predated cell phones.

Whitney Cummings (2:35)

But you would get the page, because I had one running around in DC. Some people called it a beeper. Some people called it a pager. If you called it a beeper, we didn't fuck with you. It was very serious. That was what really divided America back in the day. Versus red versus blue.

And then you go to a pay phone.

Joe Rogan (2:53)

Yeah, those things. The Motorola.

Yes, two-way pager. So it was basically like text messaging. You send text messages to each other.

Whitney Cummings (3:01)

I missed that little clip. You felt so important. You felt like every time someone paid you, you were going to go save a life in the ER.

Joe Rogan (3:06)

I'm seriously thinking of going back to a flip phone. I've been really thinking about it lately, because the days that I just leave my phone in the house, I have an Instagram app and a Twitter app on my phone, but I never open them anymore.

And I've been really thinking, like I should just do all that shit from a dedicated phone that I only use for social media and from my regular phone, just have some shit that I can text people on.

Whitney Cummings (3:29)

You're the reason I made this folder on the bottom. It says addict.