#1526 - Ali Macofsky

Joe Rogan (0:02)

Hello, Ali, you fired up the vape?

Ali Macofsky (0:04)

Is it the vape? Yeah, I brought two jewels.

Joe Rogan (0:06)

So you brought cigarettes, two jewels, and camels.

Ali Macofsky (0:09)

Coffee and a smoothie. I wasn't sure what to expect.

Joe Rogan (0:13)

What was your worst-case scenario?

Ali Macofsky (0:15)

Oh my god, worst-case scenario, I pooped my pants right off the bat.

Joe Rogan (0:18)

Have you done that before, like when you get nervous?

Ali Macofsky (0:20)

Not when I get nervous, but I used to, well, only once in college.

Joe Rogan (0:24)

You pooped your pants?

Ali Macofsky (0:25)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (0:25)

Were you drinking?

Ali Macofsky (0:26)

Yeah, I was hungover, I ate Chipotle. I ate Chipotle pretty much every day in college.

Joe Rogan (0:31)

That's not good for your brain.

Ali Macofsky (0:32)

It was not good at all.

Joe Rogan (0:33)

For trying to learn?

Ali Macofsky (0:34)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (0:34)

Actually, Chipotle, those bowls, they are pretty good.

Ali Macofsky (0:37)

They're so good.

Joe Rogan (0:38)

Like if you get one of those steak bowls with rice, that's about as clean as you can eat, really.

Ali Macofsky (0:43)

And in college, it was nice because you could eat half of a bowl and be super full and then eat the other half later, and you can do the tricks of getting half steak, half chicken or something. That's a trick? That way they give you more.

Joe Rogan (0:55)

Oh, is that a trick? I don't think it is a trick. I think they have like a scooper.

Ali Macofsky (0:58)

They have a scooper, but if you say you want half this and half that, they're not gonna put half in the scooper. They're putting a full scooper in there, and then you're getting a full pooper on the couch in college.

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (1:10)

Sorry to hear about the poop in the pants.

Ali Macofsky (1:12)

It's all right.

Joe Rogan (1:13)

People are very embarrassed about that, but it does happen if you take chances.

Ali Macofsky (1:15)

I feel like it happens to everyone. Everyone has a poop story, I hope.

Joe Rogan (1:19)

If you don't, I feel like you're just not taking enough chances with your diet.

Ali Macofsky (1:23)

No, and it's like, I think everyone's poop story starts out with them being like, oh, I thought I was gonna fart, and then it was not a fart.

Joe Rogan (1:30)

Yeah, in the car, that's when it happens.

Ali Macofsky (1:32)

I was honestly on the drive up here. I had a little bit of gas, and I was like, just wait until you're there, hold it, because you don't want to take any risks right now.

So it actually worked out, I let it out.

Joe Rogan (1:46)

There was a podcast once where I legitimately thought, do you remember who it was? I legitimately thought I was gonna shit my pants. I was like pinching my abs down, I was like crunching myself, I was like, listen, if I don't get out of here right now, I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

Do you remember who it was? But I might even set it on the air.

Jamie Vernon (2:04)

Yeah, I remember it happening, but I don't remember who was in the room.

Joe Rogan (2:07)

I barely got out.

Ali Macofsky (2:08)

It's kind of a nice feeling though. I like that adrenaline rush of like, I need to hold, it really tests my skills.

Joe Rogan (2:15)

Like cramming for a test.

Ali Macofsky (2:16)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (2:16)

Like, oh my God, there's not much time left.

Ali Macofsky (2:18)

Yeah, I dropped out of college, so I feel like me trying to hold in a poop is the most cramming for a test, I feel like I do.

Joe Rogan (2:25)

Why? That is a psychological thing, the cramming thing. They say that some people like procrastinate until they know they just, they have to, like, okay, I'm gonna stay up all night.

Ali Macofsky (2:35)

I'm a procrastinator.

Joe Rogan (2:36)

Yeah.

Ali Macofsky (2:36)

Always.

Joe Rogan (2:37)

Most comics are.

Ali Macofsky (2:38)

You think so?

Joe Rogan (2:39)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there's something, look, we're all broken, we're all broken toys.

And most comics, there's something about like the laziness and the nonconformity and the unwillingness to do trudgery. Is that a word?

Ali Macofsky (2:55)

I think so.

Joe Rogan (2:56)

Yeah, the unwillingness to do boring, mundane life choices, jobs. That's what leads people to comedy. Like, oh, maybe I could just talk shit.