#1420 - Mark Normand

Joe Rogan (0:02)

Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Normand.

Mark Normand (0:06)

Hey, hey.

Joe Rogan (0:06)

Did your thing come unplugged?

Mark Normand (0:08)

No, no, I'm all good. It just isn't as long as I hoped.

Joe Rogan (0:10)

Is it?

Mark Normand (0:11)

Which I've heard before. Yeah, no, we're good.

Joe Rogan (0:14)

We're gonna get new things with a box and like a little wall. Yeah, we're gonna make it like a real radio show.

Mark Normand (0:20)

Finally, this thing's been slacking.

Joe Rogan (0:22)

Yeah, I know, that's what I've been saying, man. Just this little box right here that controls the volumes is just too complicated. Nobody can figure out where the dial is for their thing.

Mark Normand (0:31)

It's prehistoric too, that looks aged.

Joe Rogan (0:33)

Does it?

Mark Normand (0:34)

Yeah, it's a little weathered. It's probably from all the weed smoke.

Joe Rogan (0:37)

It's patina. That's what they call it.

Mark Normand (0:40)

Patina.

Joe Rogan (0:40)

Patina.

Mark Normand (0:41)

Is that in your maid?

Joe Rogan (0:42)

No. Patina's like the surface of an old car when it has kind of like, or maybe a knife that's been kind of like slightly rusted.

Mark Normand (0:51)

A little wear and tear.

Joe Rogan (0:53)

Yes, yes, people enjoy a patina.

Mark Normand (0:55)

Ah, yes.

Joe Rogan (0:56)

Like a fine wearing of a nice object.

Mark Normand (0:59)

Like a MILF is a patina.

Joe Rogan (1:01)

A little bit. MILFs have a little bit of patina.

Mark Normand (1:03)

I like a MILF. I like a crow's foot and an old labia.

You name it.

Joe Rogan (1:09)

Yeah, girl likes to do shots.

Mark Normand (1:11)

Yeah, like a Tampa whore, you know? Yeah, I was just there.

Joe Rogan (1:15)

Yeah, did you do the improv with the three floors?

Mark Normand (1:18)

No, that room stinks. I did the side splitters.

Joe Rogan (1:21)

Oh, that's supposed to be a really good room.

Mark Normand (1:22)

Great room. Mom and Pop in there forever, Richard Jennings' photos on the wall and all that shit, it's old school.

Joe Rogan (1:31)

God, that guy, he's one of my all time favorites. That Tampa improv, does it still have the three floors?

Mark Normand (1:36)

Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan (1:37)

And the third floor is like 10 seats?

Mark Normand (1:39)

Yeah, Ybor City, everybody's hammered. It's like Bourbon Street down there. It's not great for comedy.

Joe Rogan (1:43)

Last time I was there, which is quite a while ago, I got introduced by someone who wanted to, I want to introduce you to the local swinger community.

The people that are like really into swinging in Tampa are not people anybody wants to have sex with. They find each other and they all just, no one gives a shit, you fuck her, I'll fuck her, I'll fuck him, you fuck me.

Mark Normand (2:05)

Did you look at them like a line up kind of thing?

Joe Rogan (2:07)

There was like 20 of them that came to the show.

Mark Normand (2:10)

Whoa, not one fuckable weirdo?

Joe Rogan (2:12)

I mean, listen, things can get ugly when you get hammered.

They weren't in the best of shape. They didn't seem like they were concerned about the way they looked. They seemed like they just got together and just fucked everybody. Everybody fucked everybody.

Mark Normand (2:31)

See, that might be the ruse. I think they know they're ugly. They want to get laid. It's a perfect crime. Yeah.

So yeah, it's a smart move. You get into a fuck club.

Joe Rogan (2:39)

Yeah, it's happened to me a couple of times or somebody's one time Nashville, this one guy was driving us around all weekend.

And then Sunday, the day he was taking us to the airport, he's like, well, it goes, it's really nice to meet you guys. Next time you guys are here, I'd love to take you to a swinger's club. I was like, and we were both, I think I was with Hinchcliffe. We were both like, what?

And he's like, yeah, well, yeah, just that's one of the things that I do. I'm in sort of an open relationship with my woman. So then we started to question him, like, do you always, do you get a chance to like see the guy she's gonna bang? He goes, yeah, yeah, and I also have veto power.

Mark Normand (3:19)

Oh, wow. But of course they want to bring you in, because he's the hero if he brings in a celeb.

Joe Rogan (3:24)

Oof.

Mark Normand (3:25)

And then you get to bang the wife, they probably got headshots on the wall of all the other guys who fucked her.