#1384 - Ari Shaffir

Ari Shaffir (0:00)

What's the matter with you? Well, that one ive got repeated in oudcast history.

Joe Rogan (0:05)

Well, we fucked that up. We thought we were recording, we were saying how Burt is the only person we know who's both funny and a great promoter. Like, usually you get one or the other. You get someone who's really funny, but we were talking about Burt's, we thought all this was being recorded.

Ari Shaffir (0:18)

Oh, it would have been so much better if they got that natural thing.

SPEAKER_3 (0:20)

The audio is being recorded the whole time, just that video, so I can leave that in the MP3, everybody can download that beginning.

Joe Rogan (0:25)

Oh, okay.

Ari Shaffir (0:26)

All right, give us one of those cartoonists to make them make the video.

Joe Rogan (0:28)

Well, for everybody, the audio, we're gonna stop now. We're gonna double repeat ourselves.

So a bunch of people, Bert used to have a show called Hurt Bert, and that one disturbed me the most.

Ari Shaffir (0:39)

I don't remember this one at all.

Joe Rogan (0:40)

Bert, he would do a bunch of stupid shit and get injured.

Ari Shaffir (0:43)

But he's really getting hurt.

Joe Rogan (0:44)

Yes, he's doing jujitsu with some kid, and some red belt kid who's with Hori and Gracie.

Ari Shaffir (0:52)

He really, when he was that young, he really reminds me of that frat guy that he was. I can't really see it now, but this is him like four years removed from that.

Joe Rogan (1:00)

This guy keeps arm barring him. He has no what to do here.

Ari Shaffir (1:04)

Kid is 108 pounds.

Joe Rogan (1:05)

I think part of it, he's also going along with it, enjoying.

Ari Shaffir (1:09)

He's gotta take the offensive. Fuck that.

This kid will never see it. He's played duck twice, or possum twice.

Joe Rogan (1:15)

How about that video that I showed you that Bridget Phetasy showed me? It's a video of this guy who's on a school bus and this.

Ari Shaffir (1:23)

It starts with a bus driver throwing a little kid off.

Joe Rogan (1:25)

Throwing a little kid off the school bus, screaming at him, and then a bunch of people are like, what the fuck are you doing, man?

Ari Shaffir (1:30)

They chase him back onto the bus.

Joe Rogan (1:31)

The bus driver gets back on the bus, and then they check the little kid. Are you okay? And they realize this little kid with like a lunchbox and everything is actually a grown midget.

And he's pretending that he's a little kid hanging out with these little kids, and the bus driver found it.

Ari Shaffir (1:46)

Dude, the look on everybody's face, when they say, wait, he's not a kid? And they're all like, oh, I was mad.

Joe Rogan (1:52)

So he's got the lunchbox. He throws out his lunchbox, and then he grabs him.

Ari Shaffir (1:56)

He throws him.

Joe Rogan (1:58)

It's crazy.

Cause he's got a little kid's backpack. People are ready to beat his ass.

Ari Shaffir (2:04)

Beat the bus driver's ass. They saw him chuck off a little kid. That's a five-year-old's body.

She's calling the cops.

Joe Rogan (2:12)

Yeah. And then they get to him to see, hey, you okay? Now watch this.

They go to you. That's a grown ass man. That dude was pretending to be.

Ari Shaffir (2:26)

Everybody's confused. Look how confused they all are. Like I was mad before. I don't know what to think now.

Joe Rogan (2:32)

That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir (2:34)

They look like they just saw David Blaine.

Joe Rogan (2:36)

That's crazy. Why did we bring that up?

Why were we talking about that?

Ari Shaffir (2:40)

That's a great question.

Joe Rogan (2:41)

That has nothing to do with burp though.

Ari Shaffir (2:42)

Something to do with burp. I don't know what that was.

Joe Rogan (2:44)

What does it have to do with burp? What else were we talking about?

Ari Shaffir (2:49)

The kid was beating up Burt in Jiu Jitsu.

SPEAKER_3 (2:51)

I don't remember.

Ari Shaffir (2:52)

Welcome to November.

Joe Rogan (2:54)

This is not sober November.

November, November. I definitely don't remember what the fuck we were talking about.

Dude, you're on an iPhone now. Tell me what that's been like.

Ari Shaffir (3:05)

It's been pretty interesting.

So I've set myself in October to see if I can fucking do it again. You told me about that app that's on the thing.

Joe Rogan (3:13)

Limits your screen time.

Ari Shaffir (3:14)

Limits your screen time.