#1135 - Ari Shaffir

Joe Rogan (0:30)

I like ous, I like ous too far, he's like triple F tits.

Ari Shaffir (0:31)

You can't sing along with that.

Joe Rogan (0:33)

No.

Ari Shaffir (0:33)

Triple F tits, that's exactly right.

Joe Rogan (0:34)

He went crazy.

Ari Shaffir (0:35)

Where like, I like big boobs, like, do you like this much big boobs?

Joe Rogan (0:38)

Those girls who crush beer cans with their fake boobs, you ever seen those?

Ari Shaffir (0:42)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (0:42)

You ever seen those, they line up beer cans and just smash them with the weight of their tit? It's like the most unsexy thing ever. It's like this hypersexuality gets morphed into this weird distortion.

Ari Shaffir (0:54)

It's a sexual version of when your dad catches you smoking, he's like, not smoke the whole pack if you like cigarettes so much.

Joe Rogan (0:59)

That's exactly what it is. Look at this one, watch this gal. She's got her tits and she smashes these beer cans.

Could you imagine?

Ari Shaffir (1:06)

Of course they're Foster's fucking Bogan. Of course there's this goddamn Australian shit.

Joe Rogan (1:12)

That's hilarious.

Ari Shaffir (1:12)

She's straight from Tuzzy.

Joe Rogan (1:13)

Look at those fucking, look at Steve Harvey.

Ari Shaffir (1:15)

Oh, it's not Australian.

Joe Rogan (1:16)

It's a Steve Harvey show. They just went with Foster's.

Ari Shaffir (1:19)

He's staring, because she's gotta be Australian. That's why they want to Foster's, that kind of behavior.

Joe Rogan (1:23)

Maybe they just wanted a big can.

Ari Shaffir (1:25)

Big can, smash big cans?

Joe Rogan (1:27)

Yeah, big cans.

Ari Shaffir (1:27)

Oh yeah, maybe, maybe.

Joe Rogan (1:28)

Foster's, those are giant cans.

SPEAKER_3 (1:29)

Yeah, they are.

Joe Rogan (1:30)

Maybe Budweiser didn't want any part of it, so they couldn't get a Bud Tallboy.

Ari Shaffir (1:33)

By the way, you know nobody in Australia drinks Foster's.

Joe Rogan (1:35)

No, they don't, right?

Ari Shaffir (1:36)

They don't even have them available in most bars.

SPEAKER_3 (1:38)

Really?

Ari Shaffir (1:39)

Yeah, it's not even like Bud Light where nobody really drinks it.

Joe Rogan (1:41)

How sneaky.

Ari Shaffir (1:42)

It's just marketing, everything's marketing.

Joe Rogan (1:44)

What is a beer, like our beer is, Pab Spoo Ribbon is kind of fun, because it's so white trash. You pull out a can of Pab Spoo, like I'll drink a can of Pab Spoo at the store sometimes.

Ari Shaffir (1:54)

At the store? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean, like at the supermarket?

Joe Rogan (1:56)

No, comedy store.

Ari Shaffir (1:59)

I was like, what, like while you're shopping? Garbage white trash.

Joe Rogan (2:06)

I go in with flip flops on, boxer shorts, fuck it. Wife beater, drink it up, gigantic Pab Spoo Ribbon.

Ari Shaffir (2:13)

That's normal Australian life though, dude. That's a quarter of the men would do that kind of shit. Like, well, I'm shopping for other snacks.

Joe Rogan (2:18)

Yeah, I love it over there, I really do. They're great people.

Ari Shaffir (2:22)

If you were gonna ask, their beer like that is VB. VB.

Yeah, that's ick.

Joe Rogan (2:26)

If there was another country that I would live in besides America or besides the United States, it would be Canada. And if there's another country I'd live in besides Canada, it would be Australia, for sure.

And Canada, because it's right there.

Ari Shaffir (2:35)

Canada's too cold.

Joe Rogan (2:37)

Not Vancouver.

Ari Shaffir (2:38)

Vancouver's too cold as well.

Joe Rogan (2:40)

You could handle it, son.

Ari Shaffir (2:41)

I could handle it.

Joe Rogan (2:42)

You're a travelin man.

Ari Shaffir (2:43)

Yeah, I skipped the fuckin winter, so I could go travelin. Oh, you're saying I could travel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

Joe Rogan (2:48)

Because if you're just not there in the rainy season, which is like nine months, the other three months are amazing.

Ari Shaffir (2:55)

I was doing the math on New York the other day of saying how many actual months of nice it is, and it's really a six and six. Not even nine and three.

Joe Rogan (3:03)

No, it's not six and six. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir (3:04)

Fuck.

Joe Rogan (3:05)

Yeah, there's some rugged days in those nice months, too. You know, those six, if you go, it's really probably nine, but there's three months that are super sketchy.

Ari Shaffir (3:17)

Super sketchy.

Joe Rogan (3:17)

You can get snow in April.

Ari Shaffir (3:19)

We got snow in April this year.

Joe Rogan (3:20)

Yeah, yeah, that's annoying.

Ari Shaffir (3:22)

I was in Australia, and they were like, it's snowing in New York.