#1086 - Rory Albanese

Joe Rogan (0:04)

Boom, and we're live.

What happened, you took your hat off? You're going, you're getting crazy.

Rory Albanese (0:08)

I'm trying to feel, you know, I want to feel at home.

Joe Rogan (0:10)

It's that West Coast marijuana, dude. It hits you hard, right?

Rory Albanese (0:12)

It does, hard and fast, man.

Joe Rogan (0:13)

Woo, it's no joke.

Rory Albanese (0:14)

Yeah, it's no joke.

Joe Rogan (0:15)

These chemists or whatever they are, botanists, these fucking science dorks, they've done a wonderful job.

Rory Albanese (0:21)

Yeah.

Joe Rogan (0:21)

Jesus Christ, it's not even the same thing anymore.

Rory Albanese (0:26)

No, it's GMO all the way.

Joe Rogan (0:28)

Yeah, it's like, hey, hey, hey, have you guys tested this on people yet?

Rory Albanese (0:32)

I know, it's crazy. I'm like, I know you took the seeds out of watermelon, but what the?

Joe Rogan (0:37)

Yeah, how the fuck did they do that?

Rory Albanese (0:39)

I don't know.

Joe Rogan (0:39)

How did that even happen?

Rory Albanese (0:40)

I don't know. I just read that Barbara Streisand cloned her dogs.

Joe Rogan (0:44)

Did you read that? I heard about that, Jamie told me.

Rory Albanese (0:46)

It's like the weirdest thing, dude. She has two dogs from one.

Joe Rogan (0:50)

That's weird.

Rory Albanese (0:50)

She made two clones of her favorite dog.

Joe Rogan (0:53)

That is like the polar opposite of a dog don't chop. Yeah.

It's like you can't get any further.

Rory Albanese (0:58)

Yeah.

Jamie (0:58)

Costs like $100,000.

Joe Rogan (1:00)

Oh my god.

Rory Albanese (1:00)

Of course it does.

Joe Rogan (1:02)

She can't have a different shape. It's impossible. Can't be a different dog. It's impossible.

SPEAKER_4 (1:06)

Yeah.

Rory Albanese (1:07)

It's a weird move.

Joe Rogan (1:09)

To fuck, man, if you really believe that personality comes from that, if it's the same thing, like if it just looks the same, you don't want it to just look the same, do you?

Rory Albanese (1:19)

No, it's supposed to be an identical clone of your original dog.

SPEAKER_3 (1:22)

What if it's just really, really stupid?

Joe Rogan (1:24)

What if it's your favorite dog, but this time it's just shit all over the place and walking into walls?

Rory Albanese (1:29)

We've got bad news. It doesn't have an asshole.

Joe Rogan (1:32)

It just didn't work all the way. It worked most of the way. It looks like iem.

Rory Albanese (1:36)

It's like 94% your dog and then it's missing an asshole.

Joe Rogan (1:40)

It's 30% as smart as your last dog, which is pretty good, because your last dog was a genius.

Rory Albanese (1:45)

Also, there's another dog attached to it that's walking in a different direction.

Joe Rogan (1:50)

They're eventually gonna pull icht other apart. But for now, you're out.

Rory Albanese (1:53)

You got six to eight weeks with these weird two-headed beasts.

Joe Rogan (1:57)

For a hundred grand. You could just go to the pound.

The pound, I have a story that I do in my act about a pound dog that I had. I had a pound dog that killed one of my dogs.

Pound dogs are tricky, man. You get a dog that's been in a shelter for a long time. Sometimes they're in there for months. They come out highly aggressive.

Rory Albanese (2:21)

And my dog is a shelter dog, but I got her. She's 13 now, but when I got her, she was a puppy.

And they found she was a stray puppy. She's a little black lab, just wandering in the Bronx. And I got her probably three days after they found her.

Joe Rogan (2:35)

What age do you think a dog would have to be? You gotta imagine a certain amount of abuse that a dog suffers early in its life before it gets to the pound has gotta really fuck with its head.

There's dogs that you get at the pound. You're essentially like taking on an abused organism. It's not just that it doesn't have a home. It's that it might have been in dog fights. Like I'm pretty sure that mine, either its family was in dog fights or it was in a dog fight.

And there's people around you that are probably kicking you and beating you.

Rory Albanese (3:05)

Oh yeah, or you're tied up for hours at a time. Like you have no free, I mean, who knows? But I do think dogs can be rehabilitated, but I do think it takes, you have to have a, look, to even have a dog be a good dog, right?

Like when I have my puppy, I worked with my dog so much and she's a great dog. Like I could walk in New York City without a leash, she just follows me, she stops.