1039. Q&AF: Giving Advice Vs Letting Go, Leading Without Micro-Managing & Feeling Behind Despite Success

**Andy Frisella** (0:17)
What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF, that's where you submit the questions, and we give you the answers. You can submit your questions a couple of different ways. DJ is going to tell you how.

**DJ** (0:33)
Yes, my brothers and sisters, you guys can submit your questions by email, so askandy at andyfrisella.com, or you can click the link in the description below and submit them there, or just drop them in the comment section of the Q&AF videos on YouTube.

**Andy Frisella** (0:47)
Thank you, brother.

**DJ** (0:48)
You're welcome.

**Andy Frisella** (0:50)
Yes, sir.

**DJ** (0:51)
Yes, sir.

**Andy Frisella** (0:54)
Let's just get right into it. You guys know the deal. We're going to go through three questions here, and we need you to share the show out, okay? So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. If you learn something, which you will, do us a favor and don't be a ho.

**DJ** (1:07)
Share the show. Greetings.

**Andy Frisella** (1:10)
Greetings. What's up?

**DJ** (1:11)
Salutations. What's going on, dog?

**Andy Frisella** (1:12)
Nothing, man.

**DJ** (1:13)
Yeah, man. All is good, man.

**Andy Frisella** (1:14)
Yeah.

**DJ** (1:15)
Yeah, we're good. It's a great day to be alive. Dude, it's actually a really beautiful day out here.

**Andy Frisella** (1:19)
I know.

**DJ** (1:19)
And we're in here.

**Andy Frisella** (1:20)
I know.

**DJ** (1:21)
Trying to make people better, man.

**Andy Frisella** (1:22)
I know, man. We're dedicated.

**DJ** (1:24)
What are you doing?

**Andy Frisella** (1:25)
Yeah, what are we doing? 90% of them just listening. Don't do shit, even. They're not even sharing the show with me, man.
Yeah, you know what? Show's over. Fuck you.

**DJ** (1:34)
Let's just go.
No, man. Guys, you know how this works. I got three good ones for you, man. So let's dive into these guys, Andy. Question number one. Andy, I'm 33 And one of the hardest things for me lately has been watching people I care about make the same mistakes over and over again. Same financial problems, same relationship issues, same excuses. At some point, I stopped giving advice because it felt like they didn't actually want help. How do you know when to keep trying to pull people forward and when to let them figure it out on their own?

**Andy Frisella** (2:12)
Well, I would ask you, like, what are you doing? Like, how's your stuff look? How's your life going? Are you in a position to give advice? Have you done anything that's going to make people listen to advice? You know, we see all these people online giving advice about all these things, but if we really look at their lives, nobody wants it. So you got to realize that for people to want to listen to you, you have to represent something that is worthy of them achieving. Okay? The advice has to be qualified. And I think with social media, especially, we've come to this time in the world where everybody thinks that their advice is valuable and it's not, you know, not everybody's advice is equal, not everybody has equal amount of value to provide. And just because you get a microphone and a few followers on social media, doesn't mean you're giving good advice. So, you know, the truth of the matter is, is that unless you're achieving something that is worthy of achieving, nobody's going to listen to anything that you say. And this is a big problem. Why so many people have problems getting traction as a content creator on the internet? Well, because you haven't done anything. Okay? What have you done?
And what qualifies you to give advice? Okay? So that's the first thing. The second thing is, is there's like 2% of the population that actually are achievers and winners. Okay? Everybody else doesn't give a fuck.
They live by the list. They go to school, they get married, they have some kids, they never ask themselves what they actually want. And then they go through some sort of midlife crisis, you know, in their 40s, because they're like, fuck, I never even thought about what I wanted.
So that's most people. So you got to realize that if you're not living something worthy of them to observe and aspire to be, they're not going to open their eyes to what's possible for themselves. And second of all, even if you do, a lot of them don't want it.
Okay? So like, why are you that worried about it?