#1007 - Ari Shaffir, Bert Kreischer & Tom Segura

Joe Rogan (0:01)

Have you had him on? Wheeler.

Tom Segura (0:04)

Oh, no. I had my punch drunk.

Ari Shaffir (0:08)

And we're live. You can't tell everybody. There's a lot of people that don't know.

People get mad when they find out __________.

Tom Segura (0:19)

I was like, what?

Bert Kreischer (0:20)

We had a conversation, me and him, and then Milley goes, Hey, this is Ben talking.

Tom Segura (0:29)

But I know that guy, too.

Ari Shaffir (0:30)

Yeah, I know both of them. They're different dudes.

Bert Kreischer (0:32)

They are different dudes.

Ari Shaffir (0:33)

He comes on my podcast as Wheeler, like he's different than when he came on the podcast as the other fella. I don't want to say the name.

Joe Rogan (0:41)

He's been doing these promos where he does voice over like a famous person. So it's like Garth Brooks talking, and he talks over. He's like, Hey, it's me, Garth. I'm in my private jet. I hate regular people. So I fly like this.

SPEAKER_5 (0:54)

I love Wheeler's new album.

Bert Kreischer (1:00)

Tommy, you showed me the video he did.

SPEAKER_6 (1:01)

It's Garth Brooks here. I want to tell you about my new favorite record. It's called Old Wheeler by Wheeler Walker Jr. I love blasting here on my private jet. I don't fly commercial anymore. There's always a bunch of dumb crackers who want my autograph, want me to sing low places with them. Fuck them. I like being by myself.

Ain't got enough dick to go around. That's the song I like.

Look at my dick. So I'll see you guys later. I'm Garth Brooks. I'm fat.

Joe Rogan (1:29)

I'm fat.

Bert Kreischer (1:32)

Look at it. At the bottom it says it's been retweeted by Garth Brooks.

Joe Rogan (1:36)

Garth Brooks did retweet it. No.

SPEAKER_7 (1:39)

He photoshopped that all.

Bert Kreischer (1:40)

That's him retweeting from Garth's account.

Ari Shaffir (1:42)

So it's fake.

Bert Kreischer (1:43)

Yeah.

Ari Shaffir (1:44)

Damn it.

SPEAKER_5 (1:45)

Ain't got enough dick to go around.

Tom Segura (1:48)

When he makes that motion with his face, he's like.

Ari Shaffir (1:50)

This is a call to Garth Brooks.

This is a call to find out how cool you are. You should retweet that. That shit is hilarious.

Repost that on Instagram, Garth. That shit's hilarious. And I'm a Garth Brooks fan. I don't give a fuck what anybody says.

Joe Rogan (2:02)

I'm not, but that. How dare you?

Ari Shaffir (2:05)

We got friends in low places. If that comes on, you don't get excited?

Joe Rogan (2:07)

No.

Ari Shaffir (2:08)

What?

Joe Rogan (2:09)

It's all right. It's fine.

Ari Shaffir (2:10)

It's fine. I listen in bar jam.

Joe Rogan (2:14)

I listen to Country Boy Can't Survive. I'll get fired up for that.

Ari Shaffir (2:17)

That's different.

Joe Rogan (2:18)

I'll get fired up for that.

Ari Shaffir (2:18)

That's complete next level.

Joe Rogan (2:20)

No, I know. I'm making a point that I'll get excited about that.

Tom Segura (2:23)

Yeah. That's a good song.

Joe Rogan (2:24)

That's a killer song.

Ari Shaffir (2:25)

Fuck. Yeah, it is, dude.

Joe Rogan (2:27)

But when that song comes on, I want to fucking be in a pickup. I want to drink beer. I want to have a dip in. I want to shoot somebody.

Ari Shaffir (2:35)

Hank Williams Jr. motherfucker.

That song is fantastic. That was Matt Hughes' walkout song.

Joe Rogan (2:41)

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. I had a fight for that.

Ari Shaffir (2:44)

Country Boy Can't Survive. It's a great song.

That's a great walkout song, too. That might be the best walk-out song ever.

Bert Kreischer (2:51)

Oh, no. It's Rainin Men.

Me, if I ever fight.

Tom Segura (2:57)

Well, you know what?

Ari Shaffir (2:59)

Mickey Gauls might be the best. What do you have?

SPEAKER_8 (3:02)

Oh, Mickey, you're so fine.

Ari Shaffir (3:08)

That might be the best. Comes out as a beautiful man.

Joe Rogan (3:18)

Yeah. Yeah, did he wear weird shit? Like different cut, like pink stuff, like as a making a point, someone did, right?

Ari Shaffir (3:25)

A couple bunch of guys have.

Joe Rogan (3:26)

But I went to a fight once where like, some dude came out like in a tutu or some shit, and yeah, so he was wearing like something girly, and everybody was like, he better win this shit. Something like, I don't know, like a skirt or some shit.

Tom Segura (3:40)

The pride days they did that, they dressed like Little Bo Peep, and they walked up and down the aisle or whatever.