#1 Dating Coach Reveals The Red Flags Everyone Should Know - Matthew Hussey - #625

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
Hello everybody, welcome back to the show. My guest today is Matthew hussey. He's the world's best known female dating coach, a YouTuber, public speaker and an author. Choosing your ideal romantic partner is one of the most important choices you'll make. However, men and women seriously struggle to understand each other, and perhaps now more than ever. Thankfully, Matthew has spent 15 years coaching millions of women through their relationship struggles, so perhaps he can give us some insight. Expect to learn what the women Matthew coaches actually want in a man, whether the dating landscape has actually changed that much over the last 15 years, how to build deep and lasting attraction, why more women are opting to not have children, what men often misunderstand about women's mindsets, whether men should be more vulnerable with their partners, how to present your best self on your online dating profile, and much more. Matthew is an absolute legend of this world, and to be able to hear from someone who has had a front row seat to what's happened in an incredibly rapidly changing environment is pretty cool. He did that super viral, should men split the check, would you expect a man to pay for the first date video over a decade ago in front of a room of women that you might be familiar with, and he has just gone from strength to strength since then. Don't forget that you might be listening but not subscribed, and that means that you're going to miss episodes when they go up, and you do not want that to happen. It would be trez bad. So go and press subscribe on Spotify or Apple podcasts or wherever you are listening. It really supports the show and it makes me very happy indeed. I thank you. But now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matthew hussey.
You are one of the best known dating coaches on the planet. How many clients have you worked with?

**Matthew Hussey** (2:05)
Well, worked with, I don't know. It must be hundreds of thousands, but millions online. I think we've got about eight million people that follow, and half a billion views now on YouTube, which is crazy.

**Chris Williamson** (2:17)
Lots, so you mostly work with women. If, because of that, if anybody has an insight into the psychology of females in the modern dating market, that should be you. Given that you've been doing this for 15 years, what are the biggest changes that you have seen in what women want during that time?

**Matthew Hussey** (2:40)
In what women want, I suppose, I don't think a lot changes about what people want, but I suppose if I were to make a cultural observation, it would be, it would come up for people that, how do I find someone who's either playing at my level, or someone who accepts my level, whether it's financially or what I've achieved in my life, the work that I do. That's something that is obviously a modern day thing. I think a lot of people are asking, how do I find someone who's not intimidated by where I am in my life?

**Chris Williamson** (3:26)
What do you mean by that? Be specific.

**Matthew Hussey** (3:29)
That I earn more potentially.

**Chris Williamson** (3:31)
As a woman.

**Matthew Hussey** (3:32)
As a woman, that I have a high status job, not everyone, but there's a decent amount of that, of people worrying that they're either gonna intimidate someone or they're proactively looking for someone that is playing at their level. It's hard sometimes to say whether that's because they genuinely want someone who's playing at their level, or because they're just worried that if they find someone who's not playing at their level, that person's gonna have an issue with it. You know what I mean?

**Chris Williamson** (4:06)
What's the, are women struggling to be attracted to guys that don't have that level of education, don't have that level of employment that they do? Are they struggling to date down, so to speak?

**Matthew Hussey** (4:17)
From an attraction point of view?

**Chris Williamson** (4:18)
Yes.

**Matthew Hussey** (4:23)
I mean, look, there has to be some. I know that I've spoken to very successful groups of business women who are really playing at a high level.
And sometimes in those circles, which, by the way, I don't think a tip, you know, like the ultra ultra high achieving like Taipei, you're in that like, you know, made millions of dot like that's a unique group of people. But I have experienced being in those circles where one of the first things I get asked is, well, how do I find someone who is also, you know, playing at this level? And I, I always feel like saying at that point isn't surely the reason to achieve all of this. It's so that you can choose anyone you want. Not so that you can kind of go now that I'm in this top 0.5 percent, I need to find someone in that top 5 percent in a socio-economic sphere. I always think that's to me the reason to make money, the reason to build something or to just have a job that takes care of you and your family potentially, is so that you never need that from another person. And then you're free. Then you can really go, who is it I actually want? Who do I admire? Who shows up powerfully in my life? And I think that sometimes I've seen people too narrowly define what they see as powerful.