Trump's Best Jokes at White House Correspondents Dinner

**Hammer** (0:00)
Friday was the rescheduled White House Correspondence Dinner, Nigel. Did you watch any of this?

**Nigel** (0:06)
No, just clips, man. Just clips. And you know, Donald Trump was not, I mean, he was not going to let another assassination attempt, an attempt on his life, cancel out this White House Correspondence Dinner because it was his chance to get back at the media. He had so many one-liners and zingers, he wasn't going to just let those go all to waste.

**Hammer** (0:25)
I hate the fact that we have to say he wasn't going to let another assassination attempt take away his good time. But you're right, he was ready to go. Some jokes hit, some jokes didn't. That's what happens when you do one of these roast type environments.
But personally, when he was just ripping on Adam Schiff, this didn't feel like it was anything that was written for him. It feels like Trump was speaking from the heart.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:53)
But the Association really put on a big show and they have somebody very special. I look forward to seeing him. And so they thought about going with a professional clown for entertainment. But Adam Schiff was not available. You know, he's known, I called him, I hate some people. You know, I shouldn't say this. I'm not supposed to hate him, I'm supposed to love everybody. But he's a terrible person, he's a liar.
And I called him Watermelon Head because he's the largest head I've ever seen with the smallest neck, pencil neck. How does that big fat ugly head stand on a little pencil neck?

**Hammer** (1:33)
So that was speaking from the heart, I believe, right there.

**Nigel** (1:36)
Oh, fantastic.

**Hammer** (1:39)
Here's a little montage of the rest of the evening.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:43)
But after hearing the gunshots, many people yelled, get down, get down, which caused Nicki Minaj to start twerking. Do you believe it? But I want to personally congratulate CNN's Kaitlyn Collins on receiving her award. But she's a young, attractive woman. She never smiles. I said, Kaitlyn, do you ever smile? You're at CNN Fake News. You should be a happy person. So smile, Kaitlyn, just smile.
We attack. And I thought Kaitlyn had really made it big with a major new sponsorship. But then I informed her that it wasn't her on the Bud Light can. It was Dylan Mulvaney.
Jake Tapper is a great investigative reporter in DC. And that's why after moderating our debate, it only took him one year to break the story that Joe Biden might possibly have suffered from cognitive decline. It took him one year. He wrote a book about how great he was mentally, not not too good. For example, under my administration, a once feared and powerful regime that relentlessly attacked America has finally been toppled. Their former leaders have been removed and they're now being run by a gay dictator facing internal divisions. But I for one wish Barry Weiss all the best at CBS News.

**Hammer** (3:12)
So that's just a little bit of what was discussed on Friday night.

**Nigel** (3:17)
He wasn't letting those one liners go to waste, baby. He was going to have that correspondence dinner, hell or high water.

**Hammer** (3:24)
Right.
Is there any event where people just love the smell of their own farts more than that White House correspondence dinner? Like the people in that room really feel like they are a branch of the government. They feel like they're so important.

**Nigel** (3:40)
They're vital to the existence of this country.

**Hammer** (3:44)
We're going to have this event whether somebody gets shot or not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to steal this champagne bottle off the table.
But did anybody ever get in trouble for that? Like we saw pictures of people picking up the champagne bottles and the wine bottles off the table after the assassination attempt and walking off with them.

**Nigel** (4:03)
Oh, they're probably pretty expensive. I probably wouldn't let it go to waste either.