RFK Jr. on Cyclosporiasis Update

**Hammer** (0:00)
Before we hit a break, Nigel, can we talk about explosive diarrhea?

**Nigel** (0:06)
My answer would be no.

**Hammer** (0:08)
We have an explosive diarrhea update.
A reporter asked RFK Jr. You know, he's the head of health in this country. Asked RFK Jr. if the federal government dropped the ball on this cyclosporasis outbreak.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:27)
As you know, thousands of Americans have gotten sick from the cyclosporiasis outbreak. We'd like to get your take on, does the federal government have this outbreak under control right now?

**Robert F. Kennedy Jr.** (0:38)
We do have the outbreak under control. We have done extensive forensics, epidemiological forensics, and we've identified the source of the outbreak. We and the companies that have involved have implemented a protocol whose criticisms are invalid.

**Nigel** (0:59)
Oh, good. It's under control. I feel better now.

**Hammer** (1:01)
Yes, under control. So cyclosporiasis, if you couldn't hear RFK, it's always rough when we play a sound bite from him, because that's just how he sounds, right? He was on a microphone. That's just how he sounds. We've found the source and we've got it under control.

**Nigel** (1:18)
And it sounds like there's been a bunch of cases in Indiana, if you listen to the top of the hour news too. So the Hammer and Nigel Pharmaceutical Company has been on this. We have actually a new medication to battle this.
Your weight loss journey could be difficult, expensive, and sometimes the products don't live up to the hype. Not anymore. Introducing from Hammer and Nigel Pharmaceuticals Over-the-counter Cyclospora. I lost 15 pounds in one sitting. Just sprinkle Cyclospora on your salad, fresh fruits, or vegetables, and within two weeks, you'll lose the weight.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:54)
When I stepped on the scale, I nearly f***ed myself.

**Nigel** (1:56)
Side effects include explosive diarrhea. Wow. Actually, that's not a side effect. That's what it does. Cyclospora always remain within five paces of the nearest toilet. Road trips are not recommended while on Cyclospora. Operating heavy machinery?
Depends.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:13)
It's like the weight gets shot right out of me.

**Nigel** (2:16)
Cyclospora. Available at your neighborhood grocer and participating fast food restaurants from Hammer and Nigel Pharmaceutical.
Thanks, Cyclospora. Uses directly.

**Hammer** (2:29)
Jeez.

**Nigel** (2:31)
Less of you in just a poo. So we've kind of turned some Cyclospora assets down into...
We've kind of turned it into a weight loss drug.

**Hammer** (2:40)
Right.

**Nigel** (2:41)
For Hammer and Nigel Pharmaceuticals.

**Robert F. Kennedy Jr.** (2:42)
Cyclospora.

**Hammer** (2:43)
I might have some of that next to a couple of beers, and I think my evening will be all set.