Is This Anything?

**Hammer** (0:00)
The Hammer and Nigel Presents is...

**Nigel** (0:06)
It depends upon what the meaning of the word is.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:11)
Is this anything?

**Hammer** (0:13)
Alright, let's rock and roll.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:15)
Hammer were brought to you by Indiana Unclaimed, a program presented by the Attorney General's Office here in Indiana. Reuniting Hoosiers with over $1 million in unclaimed property every single week, fast, easy, and free to search indianaunclaimed.gov.

**Nigel** (0:32)
Is this anything? Amateur MMA fighter Cole Johnson says he's fighting a chimpanzee today and he's being paid very handsomely for it.
Now, experts are warning that he faces the potential for catastrophic injuries, even death, if he goes ahead with this. Chimps can rip your face off. Yes, here he is.

**Hammer** (0:57)
I've been talking back and forth with these dudes overseas, and they have access to a chimp who's been attacking people. This chimp is a large male chimp. It's been attacking people.
This is, I couldn't see a more perfect opportunity. I want the scariest, most aggressive chimp, because I don't want anyone after I do this to be still saying, oh, it wasn't a mean one. No, I am going to go to where these guys are, and we're going to set this up. And I am going to take this chimp and do horrible things to this animal. You guys are going to see what a human in his...

**SPEAKER_3** (1:29)
What? No, this chimp is going to, as Hammer said, rip your face off. There's precedent. There's people that have had domesticated chimps that have ripped other people's faces off. This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I don't know who Cole Johnson is. You're a moron. You get everything that happens to you.
You deserve everything that happens to you there.

**Nigel** (1:53)
OK, devil's advocate here, because I don't know Cole Johnson. Maybe he's good. Maybe he's not. I don't know.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:00)
You're not better than a chimp.

**Nigel** (2:01)
But what if he gets like him in some sort of hold, right? Because that's what MMA guys do. They get you in a hold and make you submit and tap. If he breaks the chimps arm right away, puts him in an arm bar or something. Like, does that even the fight?

**SPEAKER_3** (2:14)
I don't think you're breaking the chimps arm. I don't think you're getting it in a hold. I think the chimp knows.
Don't you understand how strong those things are?

**Nigel** (2:29)
I do. I'm just trying to be devil's advocate here. If he gets the chimp in like a chokehold, and instead of the chimp tapping out, he just blacks out. Like, does he win?

**SPEAKER_3** (2:41)
I have no idea what the rules are. I would tune in for this though.

**Nigel** (2:47)
I would too.

**Christian** (2:47)
He's gonna get his arms ripped off like a Lego character.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:50)
Thank you, Christian.

**Nigel** (2:52)
Christian's filling in for Allison, doing a great job, by the way.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:56)
He will get his arms ripped off, as well as his face.

**Nigel** (3:00)
But Christian, back me up here. If, like right out of the gate, this MMA guy, Cole, is able to maneuver and get him in some sort of hold where he can choke out the chimp, do we have a ballgame?

**Christian** (3:12)
I mean, but they have hands on their feet, so he can just like wiggle himself up, like poke him in the... There is not going to be rules. He's done.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:20)
Yeah, the chimp doesn't know the rules.
He doesn't know the ins and outs. He doesn't recognize the ref in the ring. This is a joke. And if this is real, which I don't think it is, poor Cole Johnson and his left arm and his right arm and his legs and his face are just going to get ripped right off.

**Nigel** (3:46)
Is this anything?
A family cat that accidentally got thrown away inside of an old couch Oh, no! has been rescued from a landfill and reunited with his owners.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:58)
Oh, thank God.

**Nigel** (3:59)
The cat's name is Mike, and the owner had a hunch he could have been hiding inside the couch. Landfill workers spotted Mike the cat and were able to rescue him after several attempts.

**SPEAKER_3** (4:12)
He's doing better now.

**Nigel** (4:13)
Here is Neil and the landfill workers.

**Neil** (4:17)
For a couple of days, I walked around the neighborhood holding a bag of treats going, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. And having a sinking feeling that the cat was in the couch. When stuff is dumped here, that's going to be crushed and going to go to the landfill. So, you know, it was so close to being a tragedy.