I Did Nothing For 2 Weeks. It Made Me Better At Everything.

**Sam Parr** (0:00)
You know, I have a soft spot in my heart for immigrants.

**Shaan Puri** (0:02)
You do love immigrants, dude.

**Sam Parr** (0:04)
Yeah, like Korean store owner energy. So.

**Shaan Puri** (0:06)
It's almost racist how much you love immigrants.

**Sam Parr** (0:18)
Dude, what's going on? I haven't seen you in about two weeks. I had a baby, and so I took about two weeks off. You were doing some family stuff. What's going on?

**Shaan Puri** (0:28)
Let's talk about your baby first, because it's much happier. I went to my grandpa's funeral. So let's not start with the saddest news possible. Tell me about the baby.

**Sam Parr** (0:38)
We were due, I think, on the 20th, on the 13th or the 12th or something like that. My wife was like, I don't want to freak you out, and it was 10 p.m. at night. She's like, my water just broke.

**Shaan Puri** (0:47)
Dude, what an unbelievable sentence. She didn't want to freak you out? She's so considerate as her water broke. That's unbelievable. That's the most Sarah thing I've ever heard.

**Sam Parr** (0:56)
We went to the hospital, we gave birth. She gave birth, it was...

**Shaan Puri** (1:00)
Don't bring that wee shit in here, okay? This is a space for realness.

**Sam Parr** (1:05)
It was great for me, no big deal. I mean, I was exhausted, and I complained about it for a week. But I took two weeks off, and it got me thinking, did you...

**Shaan Puri** (1:15)
Before we even get to that, I need to know, birthing situation, what's your role? What are you doing? Are you a hand holder? Are you a coacher? Are you off to the side? Are you the cameraman? What are you doing?

**Sam Parr** (1:25)
She had to get a C-section. I don't do anything.

**Shaan Puri** (1:28)
Are you out of the room?

**Sam Parr** (1:29)
Yeah. I eventually came in the room and she was like, they give her medication that makes her shake or whatever. I was basically just rubbing her face and calming her down. But my wife is very stoic, so I've been lucky.

**Shaan Puri** (1:41)
I don't even know how to do things like that. Sometimes I'm put in this situation, I'm like, oh, this is where I'm supposed to be comforting. And I realize I've never once done that. And so then, it's like when you swing a tennis racket, the pressure is all off. You don't really know how much force to apply, how much not to. Like, why is my hand so sticky right now? It's terrible.

**Sam Parr** (1:59)
When I got engaged, I was like, I started to put my knee down to the ground. I was like, a bat on the back will be fine.

**Shaan Puri** (2:10)
It's like the little things that you've never practiced that lunch, and then giving a speech upwards. It's like a very strange thing.

**Sam Parr** (2:17)
Yeah. It's like, it's just handshake.

**Shaan Puri** (2:21)
Hey, put her there.

**Sam Parr** (2:22)
Yeah.

**Shaan Puri** (2:24)
We did a pinky promise, and that's held true. My brother-in-law, when my sister was giving birth, she had a longer labor. So it was taking a while, and then she looks over at one point, and he's napping on the couch in the room. She was like, hey, get your ass up. He's like, oh, sorry, I'm just so stressed. She's tired, and she was like, you're so stressed. It's just like the pure venom in that situation. It was too much for him.

**Sam Parr** (2:52)
Yeah, there's this funny joke. It's like, I'm so happy that women have to go through hours and hours of labor and pain, so they can finally experience the pain that a man feels when he has a cold. But we have two children now. I've experienced this, that basically, we are all built for things, and sometimes we rise to the occasion, and women just somehow can fight being tired and in pain. Whereas, I'm just going to complain if I get anything less than seven hours a night of sleep. So yeah, women become superheroes during those moments, and I'm happy that she did that. So everyone's healthy and happy. I'm feeling great. I took two weeks off, and I was chopping at the bit to get back to it after, honestly, four days.

**Shaan Puri** (3:39)
Like, I need a Zoom call. Someone hit me with a Zoom call today.
What were we chomping at the bit to do exactly?

**Sam Parr** (3:46)
Like, you know, a newborn child doesn't do anything. They just sleep, and I'm so happy.