I Did Nothing For 2 Weeks. It Made Me Better At Everything.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
You know, I have a soft spot in my heart for immigrants.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:02)
You do love immigrants, dude.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:04)
Yeah, like Korean store owner energy. So.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:06)
It's almost racist how much you love immigrants.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:18)
Dude, what's going on? I haven't seen you in about two weeks. I had a baby, and so I took about two weeks off. You were doing some family stuff. What's going on?

**SPEAKER_2** (0:28)
Let's talk about your baby first, because it's much happier. I went to my grandpa's funeral. So let's not start with the saddest news possible. Tell me about the baby.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:38)
We were due, I think, on the 20th, on the 13th or the 12th or something like that. My wife was like, I don't want to freak you out, and it was 10 p.m. at night. She's like, my water just broke.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:47)
Dude, what an unbelievable sentence. She didn't want to freak you out? She's so considerate as her water broke. That's unbelievable. That's the most Sarah thing I've ever heard.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:56)
We went to the hospital, we gave birth. She gave birth, it was...

**SPEAKER_2** (1:00)
Don't bring that wee shit in here, okay? This is a space for realness.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:05)
It was great for me, no big deal. I mean, I was exhausted, and I complained about it for a week. But I took two weeks off, and it got me thinking, did you...

**SPEAKER_2** (1:15)
Before we even get to that, I need to know, birthing situation, what's your role? What are you doing? Are you a hand holder? Are you a coacher? Are you off to the side? Are you the cameraman? What are you doing?

**SPEAKER_1** (1:25)
She had to get a C-section. I don't do anything.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:28)
Are you out of the room?

**SPEAKER_1** (1:29)
Yeah. I eventually came in the room and she was like, they give her medication that makes her shake or whatever. I was basically just rubbing her face and calming her down. But my wife is very stoic, so I've been lucky.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:41)
I don't even know how to do things like that. Sometimes I'm put in this situation, I'm like, oh, this is where I'm supposed to be comforting. And I realize I've never once done that. And so then, it's like when you swing a tennis racket, the pressure is all off. You don't really know how much force to apply, how much not to. Like, why is my hand so sticky right now? It's terrible.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:59)
When I got engaged, I was like, I started to put my knee down to the ground. I was like, a bat on the back will be fine.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:10)
It's like the little things that you've never practiced that lunch, and then giving a speech upwards. It's like a very strange thing.

**SPEAKER_1** (2:17)
Yeah. It's like, it's just handshake.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:21)
Hey, put her there.

**SPEAKER_1** (2:22)
Yeah.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:24)
We did a pinky promise, and that's held true. My brother-in-law, when my sister was giving birth, she had a longer labor. So it was taking a while, and then she looks over at one point, and he's napping on the couch in the room. She was like, hey, get your ass up. He's like, oh, sorry, I'm just so stressed. She's tired, and she was like, you're so stressed. It's just like the pure venom in that situation. It was too much for him.

**SPEAKER_1** (2:52)
Yeah, there's this funny joke. It's like, I'm so happy that women have to go through hours and hours of labor and pain, so they can finally experience the pain that a man feels when he has a cold. But we have two children now. I've experienced this, that basically, we are all built for things, and sometimes we rise to the occasion, and women just somehow can fight being tired and in pain. Whereas, I'm just going to complain if I get anything less than seven hours a night of sleep. So yeah, women become superheroes during those moments, and I'm happy that she did that. So everyone's healthy and happy. I'm feeling great. I took two weeks off, and I was chopping at the bit to get back to it after, honestly, four days.

**SPEAKER_2** (3:39)
Like, I need a Zoom call. Someone hit me with a Zoom call today.
What were we chomping at the bit to do exactly?

**SPEAKER_1** (3:46)
Like, you know, a newborn child doesn't do anything. They just sleep, and I'm so happy.

**SPEAKER_2** (3:51)
You're bored, yeah.

**SPEAKER_1** (3:52)
Yeah, like, I'm so happy I get to experience with her. But then, in this particular case, we have a two-year-old, and so I got to spend time with her, taking her to her classes, and being like, just so you know, I love you so much, and like, you're important, even though all this new stuff is happening. And so that, like, touched my heart, and I'm so happy I had that. But I didn't need more than two weeks. Two weeks is more than enough. Did you agree?