Episode #2230 - Hammer and Nigel Full Show

**Nigel Jason** (0:04)
Hammer and Nigel.

**Tanya Terry** (0:06)
You believe these characters?

**Nigel Jason** (0:07)
They're weird of us.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:08)
So let's rock it!

**Nigel Jason** (0:13)
We're back again to The Hammer and Nigel Road Show, live at the Johnson County Fair at the Farm Bureau Building. And my name is Nigel Jason Hammer, right next to me. Have a great crowd here assembled already at the Farm Bureau Building, live from the Johnson County Fair. The Hammer and Nigel Road Show is on, baby!

**Hammer** (0:32)
The moment we walked in here today, somebody handed us this big, awesome plate of diabetes called Beaver Tail.

**Nigel Jason** (0:39)
Yes. Right.

**Hammer** (0:41)
Now, you know me. I'm never going to say no to Beaver Tail.

**Nigel Jason** (0:43)
I understand.

**Hammer** (0:44)
But this is a little fundraiser from the Center Grove Optimist Club. So they've got these bad boys all out here. They've got all the fair food, all the sweet treats imaginable, and yes, I want everything. I know I'm on a weight loss plan, but I want to be Fatty McButter Pants today.

**Jody Alvey** (1:03)
I want to go hard in the paint, baby.

**Nigel Jason** (1:04)
Yeah. And adjacent to us is the petting zoo. I was over there earlier with the alpacas and the camels and the parakeets. And this precious little girl with her dad was looking at the alpacas, and she looked up at her dad, and she goes, Daddy, I don't want it to crap on me.

**Hammer** (1:22)
Oh.

**Nigel Jason** (1:23)
Only she didn't say crap.

**Hammer** (1:25)
Okay, that's what I was going to ask. That's what I was going to ask.

**Nigel Jason** (1:28)
You know what, little girl? I wouldn't want that for me either.

**Hammer** (1:32)
God love her. That's awesome. We need to make her the official toddler of the Hammer and Nigel Show.

**Nigel Jason** (1:38)
Right.

**Hammer** (1:39)
Man, this is going to be a great, great afternoon. The Johnson County Fair. It runs until the 25th. It's perfect fair weather.

**Nigel Jason** (1:48)
It's beautiful.

**Hammer** (1:49)
Like, we came out here last year and had a great time. But it was, correct me if I'm wrong, 147 degrees.

**Nigel Jason** (1:54)
It was sweltering.

**Hammer** (1:55)
It was hotter than blue hell.

**Nigel Jason** (1:57)
Oh, man. I had to shove ice packs down my pants.

**Hammer** (2:00)
And you made eye contact with me while you did it, which was weird.
But no, this is perfect. There's a breeze blowing through. And again, you can get some ice cream. You can grab a beverage here. And we got a lot of special stuff lined up. We're going to have the Miss Johnson County come by here in just a little bit. And she, I believe, is taking part in the Milkshake Chugging Contest.

**Nigel Jason** (2:24)
Along with representatives from some of the other animal barns.

**Hammer** (2:27)
Have you seen the trophy? Let me grab this here. It's beautiful.
So for those watching on our YouTube stream here, the winner of this year's Milkshake Chugging Contest wins this. This thing is bigger than the Borg Warner Trophy that the Indy 500 winner wins. It's like the freaking Stanley Cup. Somebody's going to hold this bad boy up tonight, and there's going to be a celebration for the Milkshake Chugging Champion.

**Nigel Jason** (2:51)
The representative from the like the horse barn, the cow barn. We've got, who did you say is coming by?

**SPEAKER_6** (2:58)
Miss Johnson County.

**Nigel Jason** (2:59)
Miss Johnson County is also coming by.

**Hammer** (3:01)
I knew a girl named Miss Johnson once.

**Nigel Jason** (3:03)
Did you really?

**SPEAKER_6** (3:04)
Yes.

**Duane Burgess** (3:05)
Is that right?

**SPEAKER_6** (3:06)
I'm sorry, Miss Johnson.

**Nigel Jason** (3:07)
I'm sorry, Miss Johnson.

**Hammer** (3:08)
A little outcast joke for you kids. I don't know what you guys were thinking of.
Real quick, let's get you up to date, though, on a serious situation. You heard this in the news at the top of the hour.

**Nigel Jason** (3:18)
Yeah.

**Hammer** (3:18)
Two IMPD officers shot on the east side of Indy last night. The suspected shooter, dead.
Now, you know me, that brings joy to my cold dark heart, and I'll probably, see, I'm not alone.

**Nigel Jason** (3:31)
Round of applause.

**Hammer** (3:32)
You guys clap, but I'm the one that gets in trouble for saying that stuff. No, I'm happy that that's the way it played out. This scumbag is not breathing our air anymore, and I'm good with that because there's a chance he gets put in Marion County's justice system, he's going to promptly be let back out to hurt somebody else.