Booze News

**Hammer** (0:00)
Ah, man, all of this ridiculous crap makes me want to have a beverage, Nigel. Let's crank up some booze news.

**Nigel** (0:06)
You set them up and I'll knock them back, Lloyd. 30-year-old man in Florida. Florida man.

**Hammer** (0:29)
Florida.

**Nigel** (0:30)
Florida man arrested after breaking into a woman's house last week, around 6.3 in the morning, making himself a drink. He brought a six-pack of beer.

**Hammer** (0:39)
Well, he brought his own beer with him. What's the problem?

**Nigel** (0:42)
No, I'm not done.
The woman woke up to her dogs barking. She grabbed a gun, walked downstairs. That's when she saw Joffre, spelled with a G-E-O, Joffre was in her kitchen, enjoying some sort of makeshift margarita. He apologized, jumped over the back fence. He lives down the street, actually. We don't know why he broke in. But Joffre brought that six-pack of beer with him and helped himself to the woman's vodka and tequila. So not only was he double fisting, but he was double fisting with the chicks.
He was drinking a damn margarita at 6.3 in the morning.

**Hammer** (1:24)
I'm reading the police report. He left a cut lime in the kitchen.

**Nigel** (1:28)
Yeah, right.

**Hammer** (1:30)
He's back there making accessories for the drink.

**Nigel** (1:32)
You can't drink a margarita without a lime.

**Hammer** (1:35)
Like, and he brought his own beer, and clearly the look of the drink was important to him, so he brought his own lime. He'd been watching Bar Rescue. He knows that presentation is important here.
He didn't assault anybody. He was like, of all the crimes, and yes, I totally would have shot him had he been in my house, but of all the crimes, this one doesn't seem as bad.

**Nigel** (1:58)
He was charged with burglary, petty theft, and resisting an officer.

**Hammer** (2:03)
Well, then he started resisting the police.
At what point do you resist police in that? Sir, you broke into a house at 630 in the morning, drank her alcohol, and you're leaving, like, limes and knives around the kitchen?

**Nigel** (2:18)
Hey, leave me alone. I was out of vodka.

**Hammer** (2:20)
I brought her some beer.

**Nigel** (2:23)
I didn't have any more tequila. Yeah.
Yeah, I wonder if he was making an even trade there. That's what he was doing.

**Hammer** (2:30)
Sorry, I drank your vodka and tequila, but I brought you this six pack of straws. It's The Hammer and Nigel Show.