161: 5 Valuable Life Lessons I've Learned In The Last 5 Years

**Nick Bare** (0:06)
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today's podcast title is Five Valuable Life Lessons I've Learned in the Last Five Years. And this episode, this discussion was inspired and motivated by a recent podcast I was listening to. This was a Craig Groeschel podcast, and it was all about the most challenging lessons he learned in leadership, in his multiple decades of leadership and in being a pastor. And I'm also going to reference one of his that he spoke about. But as I was listening to him speak, I was on a run, it was a five mile run, and I was listening to this podcast and it really spoke to me, and really connected with me. And I started reflecting just back on how much I have grown as a leader over the years, and the experiences and lessons that I've learned. So I got back from the five mile run, this is about two weeks ago, and I just started jotting down some of the things that I've learned and I believe have been extremely valuable to not just my professional life as the founder and CEO of BPN, but also apply to my personal life, and being a husband, being a father, and ultimately leading myself as well. So we'll start with number one. We need purpose and meaning to truly be fulfilled. I think we all know this, but oftentimes glance over it because we get lost in the day to day. And I once heard a fellow founder and entrepreneur describe the day to day of building a brand and building a business. And they described it as blocking and tackling. You know, we have this big vision for our life, and we have these massive goals that we're trying to chase down and accomplish. But life is complex and complicated. And over days and weeks and months and years, we might work towards this objective, this vision and these goals. Big picture, you know, perspective and approach. But in the day to day, it sometimes doesn't feel like we are making progress because we are literally blocking and tackling. Obstacles pop up, problems arise, distractions are placed in front of us, and we are in a defensive position, battling, fighting, blocking, and tackling things as they pop up, get in front of us, we are trying to get around them. From the day to day, it's easy to glance over and miss purpose and meaning and fulfillment because for many of us, some days feel like we are just trying to survive. You know, I saw this Instagram post the other day and it really connected with me, when we spoke to me. And it was this dad who has young kids and he was filming himself running in the dark, in the rain. And the caption summarized, I can't remember exactly what it said, but summarized it said that for all you other parents out there with young kids who are getting five hours of sleep a night, I see you. And don't try to compare your life to someone else's life, who doesn't have as many responsibilities. And that really just like hit home for me, spoke to me. As a husband and father with two young kids, you know, I average six and a half hours of sleep a night, but there are nights where I'm not sleeping nearly enough for as much, but still waking up and getting after it, day after day, because if it matters to you, you will make time. And when you're in those moments trying to survive day to day, getting a little bit of sleep, taking care of your kids, spending time with your family, show up to work, building your professional career, it's challenging. And it's really easy to lose sight of the bigger picture, the thing and things that really do matter, truly do matter. And if we're not careful, we will get lost in the day to day. We will become distracted in the day to day. We have to be rooted in a greater calling, a larger purpose and meaning in life to truly be fulfilled. One of my favorite books, and I've shared this before, is Halftime by Bob Buford. And it talks about how the first half of your life is focused on success. And after many of us experience a halftime moment, we have this renewed mind and we realize that the second half of life is no longer focused on success, but it's focused on significance. And I've also heard people describe the first half of your life as you are working to build and accumulate, and the second half of your life, you are working to give it all away. To people you love and friends and family and your kids. That could be materialistic things. It could be your money. It could be your time, your energy, anything. But in the book Half Time by Bob Buford, he says that people are at their largest, their noblest and most virtuous when they are given over to a cause, something larger than themselves. We are at our best, our largest, our most noble, virtuous when we are working towards and for something larger than ourselves. True purpose, true meaning. I'm also a really big fan of Arthur C. Brooks. He teaches a very popular class, I believe at Harvard, on happiness. And this class, it books out every year, instantaneously. And there is a wait list to get into this class of hundreds of people. He is also an author.