You Might Also Like: The School of Greatness

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
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**Lewis Howes** (0:25)
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Everywhere I go, airports, events, walking down the street, people stop me and say, Lewis, this show got me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. And it's one of the coolest things when people come up to me. So if you see me, please come up and say hi. And let me know how this show, The School of Greatness has impacted you. It lights me up because our mission at Greatness Media is to impact 100 million lives every single week. So if today's conversation hits home for you, do me a favor and push the follow button right now. It means that the next conversation will be delivered to you and will find you exactly when you need it. Again, thank you so much for being here and listening to The School of Greatness. Make sure to follow right now to stay up to date on the latest and greatest.

**David Kessler** (2:18)
If you grieve well, you live well.
Grief is about change. Those of us who can manage change well actually are happier in life. If you get stuck in the breakup, the job loss, whatever it is, you're not going to do well.

**Lewis Howes** (2:34)
He's one of the world's foremost grief experts and bestselling author who has helped millions of people learn how to heal after loss. Please welcome David Kessler.

**David Kessler** (2:43)
Grief must be witnessed.

**Lewis Howes** (2:45)
What does that mean?

**David Kessler** (2:46)
It means if you're in grief, you need another person to go, that job meant a lot. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

**Lewis Howes** (2:53)
Why does that need to happen?

**David Kessler** (2:55)
Because we need to have our pain and our love and our attachment witnessed in someone else's eyes.

**Lewis Howes** (3:02)
A lot of people have heard about the five stages of grief. You've added a sixth stage of grief. Can you briefly share what these six stages of grief is?
Sure. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who did Hospice and Grief and Loss, she's the one who came up with them. What was amazing that she did is she didn't invent something. She was just doing it. She was just doing it.

**David Kessler** (3:28)
She was just doing it. She was just doing it. She was just doing it. She was just doing it. She was just doing it. She was just doing it. She was just doing it. She was just doing it. She was just doing it. I can sense something, she observes something in people. And she was like, you know, the sun always comes up in the east, it sits in the west. People seem to go through this denial. I can't believe this is happening. Anger, pissed about this.
If only I had done that, if only we had tried this. Then Depression, The Sadness.
Acceptance. And people thought like there's one big acceptance There's. a million acceptances that we're always going through. So those are the stages. And what's remarkable is, they work when someone dies, but they work in a breakup, divorce, job loss, big changes. In fact, I always define grief as a change we didn't want. It's interesting, you know, sometimes I'll be talking to someone and they know like I maybe have did a lecture at Coca-Cola or General Mills or Dow Jones. And they're like, why are you lecturing to grief with them? Do they have a lot of grief? And I'm like, no, companies want to learn how to manage change. Grief is about change. Those of us who can manage change well, actually are happier in life. So I always want people to know if you grieve well, you live well. If you get stuck in the breakup, the job loss, whatever it is, you're not going to do well. So I was really honored to work with Kubler-Ross. She taught me and I was able to do a couple of books with her and adapt her stages of dying to stages of grief formally with her.