You Might Also Like: The School of Greatness

**Lewis Howes** (0:01)
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Everywhere I go, airports, events, walking down the street, people stop me and say, Lewis, this show got me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. And it's one of the coolest things when people come up to me. So if you see me, please come up and say hi and let me know how this show, The School of Greatness has impacted you. It lights me up because our mission at Greatness Media is to impact 100 million lives every single week. So if today's conversation hits home for you, do me a favor and push the follow button right now. It means that the next conversation will be delivered to you and will find you exactly when you need it. Again, thank you so much for being here and listening to The School of Greatness. Make sure to follow right now to stay up to date on the latest and greatest.
Where do you think the confidence comes from in negotiation? How can we gain more confidence when we're mastering some of the strategies from your book and from your workshops and trainings that you guys do? How does someone develop that confidence?

**Chris Voss** (2:47)
I'll break that into two parts. The type of confidence and developing the confidence.
Because there's a lot of empty, vacuous confidence out there. Like I am like...

**Lewis Howes** (2:58)
False confidence.

**Chris Voss** (2:59)
The confidence. And you know this one guy we were talking to about a possible investment in a company. You know, I pointed out, you know, how I thought their numbers were flawed. And then the guy said, well, I'm confident I can make these numbers anyway. And I'm like, all right, so we're walking away from you right now.
Because you just told me you have confidence in the things that I just pointed out to you that were flawed, instead of actually listening to what I said. Now, the confidence that you spoke about a moment ago, the way you lived it and what you said, it wasn't confidence, it was confidence in connecting.
And that's the critical point.

**Lewis Howes** (3:35)
With people.

**Chris Voss** (3:35)
With people, connecting with somebody and the desire to connect with them, which is also the whole point of the negotiation.
The Black Swan Method is about succeeding with people, not at their expense. You know, getting better at negotiation, not necessarily at the expense of other people, in point of fact, making the other person's position better also.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:58)
So, not hurting them.

**Chris Voss** (4:00)
Not hurting.

**Lewis Howes** (4:01)
But them succeeding and you succeeding.

**Chris Voss** (4:03)
Right, because you want to repeat business.

**SPEAKER_4** (4:05)
Yes.

**Chris Voss** (4:05)
And if you hurt them, they're not going to repeat.

**Lewis Howes** (4:07)
Right.

**Chris Voss** (4:07)
So, connecting with people, negotiating with people. That's your confidence is a desire for that and a genuine sincerity and enthusiasm for it.

**Lewis Howes** (4:17)
How does someone do that when they know what they want is not what the other person wants?

**Chris Voss** (4:22)
Well, and that's only if it's short-term.