You Might Also Like: The Oprah Podcast

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:01)
This episode of the Oprah Podcast is presented by our partner, Geico.
I do think this is your best work. I do think this is a reason you've come to the planet for this moment and to try to bring us back to save our children.

**Dr. Shefali** (0:15)
They are being abducted by the algorithm in front of our eyes.

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:20)
Whoa.
A generation of young men withering in childhood bedrooms. No friendships, no fire, no purpose. So how do parents begin to give their sons fire and purpose?

**Dr. Shefali** (0:36)
We are forgetting that the predatory man who grows up to harm us later was once a lost boy and a boy who was not initiated into adulthood. This is a wake up call to parents to stop outsourcing their influence, their attachment and their attention.

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:56)
Hi to you from my front porch. Thank you for joining me on the Oprah Podcast. I'm here with world renowned clinical psychologist, parenting expert and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Shefali. More than 15 years ago, she released her groundbreaking work, The Conscious Parent, one of the most profound books on parenting I've ever read. I give it to every new parent I know.
Then came many more transformational bestsellers. Here's what I think is so genius about Dr. Shefali. She's counseling parents and paying attention to the evolving world we're living in. She starts to notice that children and teens are really in trouble. How does she know that? Because she's talking to them and they are telling her. Parents feel like they're drowning. She knows this because that's what they're telling her.
Maybe just hearing that hits you in a knowing place because you too feel like you're drowning. Her next realization is that our current culture is impacting boys differently than it's impacting girls. It's getting harder, harder, not easier to raise children. I can feel you all, all nodding out there.
Now she's written not one, but two new books, Raising Conscious Sons, Cultivating Purpose, Connection and Inner Power in a Chaotic World, and Raising Conscious Daughters, Building Confidence, Courage and Inner Power in an Anxious World. There is so much to learn. So we're doing this in two parts. This episode is all about Raising Conscious Sons. Welcome Dr. Shefali.

**Dr. Shefali** (2:28)
Oprah, thank you. Thank you for being a steward. You know, I get emotional about this because without you, I could not have had the courage and the clarity and the fortitude and the perseverance to stick through because you always hold my hand and tell me to keep going because the resistance, the resistance.

**Oprah Winfrey** (2:49)
Yes, 15 years ago, the resistance to even the word conscious, what it means to be a conscious parent. Remember when we first talked about it? People were like resisting that and what does that mean?

**Dr. Shefali** (2:59)
And you can't tell me how to parent my kids and these are my kids.

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:03)
Yes, yes, yes.

**Dr. Shefali** (3:04)
And back then, my singular focus was to help parents wake up to the teachers that their children are.

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:13)
Yeah.

**Dr. Shefali** (3:13)
And to have the humility to not treat them like property.

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:18)
Yes.

**Dr. Shefali** (3:19)
This was back then.

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:20)
That was 15 years ago. Yes.

**Dr. Shefali** (3:22)
And it was uncomfortable back then. But today, it has to be the clarion call. It has to be the most urgent wake up blueprint that we need because in today's world, we have reached such a cultural inflection point where this wounded adult male ego, obsessed with greed and domination, has created a culture that is so misaligned to the spiritual, emotional, psychological needs of our children.
And the abyss between what they need and what culture is providing has become this gaping chasm. And we parents are lost in it because we want to do good by them, every parent does.

**Oprah Winfrey** (4:10)
Real quickly, for those who are not familiar with Dr. Shefali's work, I want you to first explain the concept of conscious parenting.

**Dr. Shefali** (4:22)
It came to me, this movement of conscious parenting, as my rebellion against the traditional model that insists on sacrificing, exploiting, manipulating and using our children as chattel and property.
And when I saw myself do it, right, when I was a therapist coaching other parents, I was like, oh, this parent is just unconscious and that parent is unconscious. But Oprah, when I saw myself desire to dominate my daughter and I saw my own ego and I had the humility to see it because it takes courage to see the force of your own shadow, that's when I knew if I'm in trouble, if my ego is a pipeline that is just infusing my daughter with its unconscious garbage and I'm not interrupting this pipeline, how can any other parent?