You Might Also Like: On Purpose with Jay Shetty

**Sara Al Madani** (0:00)
Toxic people are consistent, you know, that's the beautiful thing about them. They never change.

**Jay Shetty** (0:04)
What should be a deal breaker in dating?

**Sara Al Madani** (0:06)
My BS eliminator is having that straightforward conversation from day one, and if the man runs away, he's not ready for a serious relationship.

**Jay Shetty** (0:14)
What do you think is the difference between someone who wants a relationship and someone who needs a relationship?

**Sara Al Madani** (0:19)
If I need you, that means I am operating from luck. Are you what you're trying to manifest? Because you cannot attract what you're not.

**Jay Shetty** (0:30)
Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier and more healed. Today's guest is going to dive into the topic that I know is on your hearts and minds the most. Love, dating, relationships, the part of our life that brings so much joy, but equally can create so much pain. Today's guest is someone I've been excited to have on the show. I finally have her in the hot seat. Her name is Sara Al Madani.
She's an entrepreneur, author who transformed her own pain into powerful guidance for others. Sara is known for exposing the hidden patterns of toxic relationships. If you've ever felt confused, controlled or disconnected from yourself, Sara will help you understand why and teach you to identify narcissistic behavior, break trauma bonds and heal the parts of you that were taught to settle for less. If you don't follow Sara on social media already, I know you will after this episode. And if you're interested, you can grab her copy of Dear Narcissist. This is the book that I want you to go and grab. We'll put the link in the comments, and we'll be talking about it throughout the episode. Please welcome to On Purpose, Sara Al Madani. Sara, it is great to have you here.

**Sara Al Madani** (1:40)
I manifested this on my birthday.
So on my birthday, I was like, I'm going to be on Jay's show. And here I am.

**Jay Shetty** (1:45)
When was your birthday?

**Sara Al Madani** (1:47)
20th of Jan.

**Jay Shetty** (1:48)
That's amazing. And that was this year you had this vision?

**Sara Al Madani** (1:51)
Yeah, and everyone was like, oh, you're crazy. I'm like, no, because I'm a manifestoer, so I knew it was going to happen. And here it is.

**Jay Shetty** (1:57)
I love that. Well, I've wanted to have you on for a long time.

**Sara Al Madani** (1:59)
I'm honored.

**Jay Shetty** (2:00)
So I just was waiting for you to manifest because I've been wanting to have you on. I've been following you for years and I've always stopped to listen to what you have to say because I think there have been so many moments where I've just found, oh, this is the right thing to send to someone. And this is the right thing that's going to resonate with someone. And so I'm a big fan of yours and I love the work you're doing. I love the way in which you do it. You also have the coolest style. So there's so many things I want to talk about today. But the first thing I want to talk about is, right now we're experiencing, all of our listeners, and I'm sure you experience this, people feel lonely, they feel disconnected, they feel like they want love in their life, they want to find the right person, they want to find the right partner.
What should someone be asking themselves before they start dating?

**Sara Al Madani** (2:42)
It's an understatement of, we know how people say, I want this kind of guy or that kind of girl. I want to manifest this kind of love or that kind of love. The true question that a lot of people don't actually look deep into is, are you what you're trying to manifest? If you want a successful man, are you successful? If you want a kind loving man, are you kind and loving? If you want hardworking person, are you the things you want to get? Because you cannot attract what you're not.
I think this is something that people don't pay attention to. They just don't want to put in the work, they just want to get it easy. But that's not how life works, because in the end, you will attract who you are from the inside. So if you're broken, you will attract broken people. I used to think, I don't hurt anybody, I'm such a nice person, I'm making money, I'm working hard, you know, I'm a single mom, life is great, I don't have traumas, I've been through hell and back, but I'm okay now.