You Might Also Like: A Better Way to Money

**Lynnette Khalfani-Cox** (0:00)
If you have sleepless nights, or anxiety, or depression, and you're worried about your finances and your bills, that's telling you something, right? And for a lot of folks, part of what tends to write the shit is starting to make choices that are in alignment with their values.

**Jennifer Borget** (0:19)
Welcome back to A Better Way to Money. I'm Jennifer Borget. According to a recent Northwestern Mutual survey, one in three Americans admit to spending everything they earn each month, including a lot of people who on paper look like they're doing just fine. A good salary, a nice house, a life that looks solid from the outside, not a paycheck to paycheck situation. Today's guest knows that story better than almost anyone. Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, known as the Money Coach, spent nearly a decade as a Wall Street Journal Reporter for CNBC, covering personal finance for a living. And the whole time, she was quietly carrying over $100,000 in credit card debt. Eventually, she paid it all off and wrote Bounce Back, The Ultimate Guide to Financial Resilience. The book she wishes someone had handed to her when things were at their worst. Whether a financial curveball comes out of nowhere or you experience a slow creep into a place you don't want to be, this conversation is for you. Before we get into it, if you want to take control of your finances right now, grab Northwestern Mutual's Free Family Finances Workbook at northwesternmutual.com/podcast.
All right, let's dig in. So money stress has a way of quietly taking over even when everything looks fine on the outside. And I know you know that firsthand. You were a Wall Street Journal reporter for CNBC, covering personal finance for a living while also carrying over $100,000 in credit card debt. So take us through what that chapter of your life was like.

**Lynnette Khalfani-Cox** (1:54)
Well, in a lot of ways, I tell people now that when I was deep in debt, I was very much in denial. I had this sort of misconception that because I wasn't missing any payments, that it was like, okay, somehow the debt that I was carrying. I was like, what's the problem? Debt collectors aren't calling me. They're not banging down my door. I don't have any late payments on my credit report.
I felt like I was lulled into a sense of security. Also, I had a really good paying job. I was making a very nice six-figure salary.
I was like, everybody has debt. What's the problem? But obviously, it was a problem. But yeah, it did get to the point where I was like, this is excessive. I was maxed out with my credit cards and all of the things that I was using to kind of float the lifestyle. And so after a while, I kind of got fed up with that. I was like, okay, this is insane to live this much on the edge financially. And I knew I had to make a change.

**Jennifer Borget** (2:59)
Debt is so easy to rationalize, right? Like people will say, I'll deal with it after my next paycheck. I deserve this. You know, it's not that bad yet.
A lot of us have been in these types of situations. So when you were in it, what were you telling yourself? And how did the story you were telling yourself change as the debt kept growing?

**Lynnette Khalfani-Cox** (3:23)
Well, part of what I told myself was like, I'm handling this. This level of debt is sort of normal.
I can deal with it. And so the rationalization came in because A, I wasn't missing payments. B, I had a good income and a good job. And C, I kind of felt like I could, quote, unquote, afford a lifestyle that I clearly was not able to afford. And so it was just kind of like a little perfect storm of, you know, mental gymnastics where you just kind of convince yourself and maybe like gaslight yourself into thinking everything is okay when like deep down, subtly, like emotionally, you know it's not.
And the red flags, the warning signs that I had too much debt were absolutely there.

**Jennifer Borget** (4:17)
And then you turned everything around, like you managed to pay off your debt in three years. So you went from making minimum payments, hey, I'm making my payments, to not miss a single payment while also launching a business, raising a family, walk us through what that strategy was, as well as like maybe your mindset that you had to have.

**Lynnette Khalfani-Cox** (4:39)
Sure. At the time, I wish I could say that there was some magical strategy to quit or some complex formula that I put together or some step one through five that I knew to take to make it all magically disappear, not by a long shot. Some of it was like trial and error. So for me, one of the strategies that I started doing was not paying minimum payments.