The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik

**Rena Malik** (0:00)
Men who ejaculate 21 times or more a month are less likely to develop prostate cancer.

**Steven Bartlett** (0:06)
Jesus Christ, why?

**SPEAKER_3** (0:07)
It's because Dr. Rena Malik, board certified urologist, expert on sexual health, and a rock star in educating the public on the facts and myths of sex.

**Steven Bartlett** (0:17)
Rena, I want to start with this idea that other couples are having significantly more sex than we are.

**Rena Malik** (0:22)
Big myth. People are having sex about once a week.

**Steven Bartlett** (0:25)
Will my penis get smaller as I age?

**Rena Malik** (0:28)
It can. So in terms of how do we maintain our penile size, you need to have...

**Steven Bartlett** (0:33)
Is there a disparity between how long we think sex should take and how long it actually takes?

**Rena Malik** (0:38)
Yeah, we all think it lasts longer. Women want it to be 18 to 25 minutes. Men are a little on the shorter side, like maybe 12 minutes.

**Steven Bartlett** (0:46)
Is there like an average time?

**Rena Malik** (0:48)
5.1 to 5.7 minutes.

**Steven Bartlett** (0:51)
And then is too much masturbation going to have an adverse effect for men and women?

**Rena Malik** (0:55)
Masturbation is generally safe as long as you don't. That's when it becomes a problem.

**Steven Bartlett** (1:01)
Rena, do we understand our bodies as it relates to our sexual health?

**Rena Malik** (1:04)
Not at all. For example, the pelvic floor, it's involved in orgasm, it's involved in sexual function, but no one really talks about it. In fact, men will be shocked, oh, I have a pelvic floor too. And there's a whole host of issues that can come from having a weak pelvic floor, including erectile dysfunction.

**Steven Bartlett** (1:21)
So how can I strengthen my pelvic floor?

**Rena Malik** (1:23)
Pelvic floor exercises, they're going to increase orgasm and going to make your semen propel further. And ultimately, it would be something as simple as...

**Steven Bartlett** (1:38)
Dr. Rena Malik, with all of your work, what is it that you're seeking to do?

**Rena Malik** (1:44)
So what I'm seeking to do is have people understand that sexual health is health. I think we have so much misunderstanding about one, what is good sexual health? How do you, why is good sex important? Why is it good to have good sexual health? And that creates a lot of despair and devastation and people don't talk about it. So they ruminate, they feel bad about themselves and it's pervasive throughout their entire life. So I think ultimately my goal is to make education freely accessible and understandable so people can know what's going on with their bodies, what's normal, what's not and what's available to help them.

**Steven Bartlett** (2:27)
How do you define sexual health?

**Rena Malik** (2:30)
So sexual health is sort of an individual thing but most people would say that you are able to have sex, you are able to have an orgasm, you are able to have pleasure and achieve the benefits of that.

**Steven Bartlett** (2:43)
Do we understand our bodies as it relates to our sexual health?

**Rena Malik** (2:46)
No, not at all. I will tell you, so I talk about, for example, how it's normal to have erections at night or have even nocturnal emissions, so have a wet dream, how that's a normal physiologic function. And so many people will message me and say, how can I stop having what they call nightfall or how can I stop waking up with an erection? Because they think for some reason it's shameful or it's a bad thing. And realistically, it's just normal. And part of it is media, right? So when you see TV, you see a man getting an erection very quickly, he's immediately penetrating a woman and she's immediately orgasming, and the whole act is like really hot and heavy. And in reality, that's not what sex is like. So if you're not seeing what normal sex is like, what normal foreplay is like, what the fact that it's normal to sometimes have difficulty getting an erection, that's normal sometimes to not have an orgasm for a woman, or it may take more time to get a woman aroused and require more foreplay, that you are essentially looking at a script that's not real. And then you're like, what's wrong with me? Am I broken? You know, is something wrong with my body that it doesn't function the way I'm seeing on TV or on media or on erotic films?

**Steven Bartlett** (4:07)
Where does your experience on this subject come from?

**Rena Malik** (4:11)
So I'm a urologist by training a board-certified urologist. So we are the medical and surgical doctors of the genital urinary tract. So we're essentially the plumbers. So when you have a problem with your kidneys, the tubes that drain the kidneys, the bladder or your genitals, we're the ones who are going to fix those if they're a surgical issue.